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Friend so upset her new boyfriend has dumped her

(12 Posts)
Shandy57 Mon 18-Jan-21 21:20:45

A friend rang tonight, extremely upset that her boyfriend has dumped her for a younger woman. She feels completely humiliated as friends have told her that he 'used her'.

Is there anything I can say or do to help her?

lemongrove Mon 18-Jan-21 21:23:29

No, not really, just be a sympathetic listener is my advice, at the moment that’s all you can do anyway ( with Covid.)

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 18-Jan-21 21:23:38

Not very helpful of her ‘friends’ to say that to her, especially as they might get back together again.
All you can do is commiserate, be sympathetic and tell her that she was too good for him.

NannyPT Mon 18-Jan-21 21:25:53

Yes there is, if it's not right for him then it's not right for her! He's done her a favour and someone much nicer will come along.

GagaJo Mon 18-Jan-21 21:29:39

What a shallow man! A friend's mum always used to say 'What's meant for you, won't go by you.' And I have to say, I look back at my life, and see how most things that happened, happened for the best.

Skallagrigg Mon 18-Jan-21 21:36:44

I think that all you can do is to listen and sympathise, Life teaches us that in time she will move on but until then give her some support.

Shandy57 Mon 18-Jan-21 22:22:51

Thank you, it's the first relationship she has had since her divorce many years ago, she is devastated. I'll just listen and sympathise, it obviously helped her to talk. I feel so sorry, she's a very lovely person.

cornishpatsy Mon 18-Jan-21 22:24:18

Listen and do not criticize the boyfriend, they may get back together and it would spoil your friendship.

BlueBelle Tue 19-Jan-21 06:52:52

Well let’s hope they don’t get back together as if he can do it once he can certainly do it again
It can happen what ever age you are and the help is the same listen support and help eventually to move on
Better on your own than a user or abuser

Shandy57 Tue 19-Jan-21 10:50:09

Unfortunately I doubt they will get back together again, the new girlfriend works with him, and has now moved in with him. My friend is in her fifties, he was late thirties, and his new girlfriend is early twenties. I feel so sorry for her but there is nothing I can do but listen, thank you for your comments.

M0nica Wed 20-Jan-21 08:59:54

I think your friend built too much on the relationship far too fast. Young or old, most people have brief relationships, while searching for the right long term relationship. And while some relationships where there is a great disparity of age flourish. In the eary stages I think these have a higher failure rate than most.

All you can do at the moment is comfort your friend, but further down the line encourage her not to build too much on any relationship in the early stages.

timetogo2016 Fri 22-Jan-21 10:47:20

Well i can`t add anything that hasn`t been advised by you Gransnetters.