Relationships with cousins

Definitely nevet too late. They'll make their choices too of course. Someone always needs to make the first move. Good on ya. X

It's nice that you have been in contact with your cousins - family is important. Did they ever make an effort to contact you? So often families fall out because of other family members. I have always been in touch with one cousin but never the others. I am not sure where they live or even whether they are still alive which is sad really.

I am in touch with three cousins who I have not seen for years, we just email or write to each other and I might visit two of them at some point but we will see. When I found their addresses I did wonder whether to contact them or not but decided to write and see what happened. It was really nice when I received a reply, I don’t expect too much but we do share some old memories with each other.

I was the youngest of the cousins on both sides of the family (I was my parents 'afterthought'!) so I knew a few of them in the UK, then several years ago when my daughter moved to Australia I got to know the cousins there, we keep in touch intermittently, and follow each others families on FB. I have some cousins in Canada and have a similar FB relationship with one of them, she visits the UK every few years and we always try to see her. I didn't know very much at all about my two cousins in the US but they were so lovely when I managed to get in touch that we went to visit them a few years ago and all got on so well, we had a great time. Sadly the oldest and his lovely wife are now in sheltered housing and finding life difficult, so I just write to them from time to time, but the other one is only a year or two older than me and we enjoy a lively e mail exchange regularly, sharing photos, recipes and family exploits, and would love to meet up again some time, COVID permitting! I also have a distant cousin in Italy who we see when he is in the UK, and a lovely sort of cousin who is very elderly but sharp as a tack and very entertaining company, we see her when we can. So really they are much like friends gathered over the years - some you want to spend more time with, some less! But a shared family history means that you can sometimes uncover fascinating stories from the past. As long as you don't expect your cousins to necessarily be your forever best buddies, there is nothing to lose in keeping up a relationship with them.

2 sisters married 2 brothers in our family which made the cousin gene pool smaller than normal. They were all brought up together but not massively close as older adults.

After all this I must contact my cousin M who wa a big part of my teenage youth.

I have six cousins, and we never speak to each other except at the occasional wedding or funeral. We send cards with news at Christmas. Only one lives anywhere near me. We were quite friendly as children, but it hasn’t lasted into adulthood.

Oddly enough, one of them has just phoned me. I hadn’t spoken to her since my nephew’s wedding some years ago. I think she was just bored with lockdown and needed a chat.

My mother was one of 11 and I grew up with many cousins. Now only keep in touch with the two I was closest to in childhood. Mum was number 10 and so many cousins were much older than me and have died or we have nothing in common any more. ?

Forgot to mention, not seen male cousins for over 50 years

Always kept in touch with 3 sets of cousins few times a year . Then about 4 years ago met up with 2 male cousins, one single, one married. We all meet up once a year in various parts of the uk (London, York, aberystwyth (prior to covid) and I would recommend .

Never too late! Those of your cousins who are friendly people will already know that contact, communication and shared times are a marvelous gift, and will surely want to pursue this with you. I have lots of cousins and keep in touch with as many as possible. When we do meet we have such a warmth between us - we all have the same grandparents, and our parents are remembered and loved by us all. It's a special relationship - you are one step removed from brothers and sisters with your cousins, and they are too precious to give up on. If you don't get closer to them all, some will be worth the time and effort.

I only have 3 cousins and the eldest wasn't born until I was 16, so we don't have much in common. The youngest one emigrated a few years ago and apart from birthday and Christmas messages on FB we don't really keep in touch. The middle cousin is a woman roughly the same age as my daughters, so they have more in common with her than I do. If you find just one cousin you can be friends with, Kestrel, then you will be doing better than me!

Hi there.
I was born to older parents and Believe I was the youngest cousin in My generation..I never knew any however I'm having great fun doing My Ancestory...Names I'm studying atm are Butler,Cope ,Wright,Thacker ;Reardon all from Hackney and Holloway areas of London So far .I have been in touch with one whom I share Great Grandparents whos lovely but we havent met.

Definitely not left it too late,18 years ago I looked up a cousin,
I hadn’t seen for44 years and although we are 7000 miles apart
we have developed a wonderful fun relationship and I can truly say I love my cousin and his wife.We have travelled across the world to family weddings,been a cruise and had quite a few long visits all brilliant.Due to Covid one visit has sadly been cancelled,but I live in hope we will meet again.It has been like finding a wonderful big brother.

I'm an only child so am grateful to have several first cousins and many more distant ones. I've been in touch with the ones with whom my parents mixed all my life. When we all worked and were bringing up children contact was very occasional but now we're retired we're back in touch. A couple of years ago the first cousins rented a house where we got together with our partners for a weekend. It was more successful than I'd dared to hope. We remain in touch although we live in different parts of the country. They're the only people with whom I can share family memories.

It's lovely that you have reached out to get to know them. My parents, aunts and uncles have all passed away and the majority of my cousins and I haven't kept in touch, in fact there is only one I see in my local town and another I always send a Xmas card to, he has learning difficulties. I wouldn't even have a clue where any of the others live. You keep slowly getting to know them, don't put any pressure on it and see how it goes.

We are keeping in touch on regular Zoom sessions. My sister hosts one and a cousin on my mothers side hosts another so we have invited cousins on my father's side to ours.

I have one cousin. We were childhood nemesises! What a sneaky little shi* he was. If i ever see him again it would be too soon. He lives in Tasmania and it's too close for comfort. Our link grandparents have both died and since that point he and his mother are also dead to me.
I have one lovely half cousin to whom i am still close other than that all family are estranged except my own offspring and their children.
Good luck with keeping in touch but if it works enjoy it OH. Facebook and all that can be so fake people talk on there then pass you in the street and don't acknowledge you. I think families can be like that too except for the funeral get togethers.

It may not be too late, after all you are related by blood so you do have your families in common, I sincerely hope some friendships will come about for you.

I would have loved to have some cousins or extended family but both parents only children and no cousins, aunts or uncles so just myself and two sisters.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I think whether or not we can expect good relationships with cousins depends upon many factors, not least the amount of involvement we had as children. My parents always made a lot of effort to stay in contact with their brothers and sisters, and so we saw a lot of our cousins. Then, through life, we all had our own lives and largely went our own way. But now, as we retire, we are getting closer again. The extra time we have makes a difference, of course, and our shared experiences of our grandparents, our holidays, our Christmases together, is all part of that. We miss the older generation now, and they are a last link to them. But perhaps it is different if you did not share those things - I am nor sure.

My mother never really got on with her family so I never got to know the 18 cousins on her side. There are nine of us cousins on Dad’s side. Some of them are just people we exchange Christmas cards with and meet at funerals. Others I see more often. Most of us are now grandparents! Unbelievable. I have an old black and white photo of all nine of us with our grandmother. She is holding the youngest of us and the rest of us are huddled around. The photo must be 58 years old!

I come from a very small family so don’t have many people I can track down. I do have a second cousin who keeps in touch with me. Her mother and mine were cousins. She is very interested in the family tree and contacts me with information from time to time. I’m not so interested in this but it does help us to have some common ground. Could I suggest that the OP does some research and shares this with her cousins?

fantastic... typo