How well do you get on with...

I'm very lucky as I've got 2 DIL 's and 1 SIL and we get on well with all of their families, even going on holiday with them at times. My son died 11 years ago and I am still close to my DIL and see her and her parents, sisters etc regularly still. I've been very lucky with the families my children have married into.

I never got to meet my Mother in Law or Father in Law, they had both passed away before I met my DH. The eldest Sister in law was the nearest that I had, and my Daughters have always thought of her as the nearest they had of a Grandma, as my own mother passed away when they were small toddlers, aged 7 months and 21 months respectively.

I knew my in-laws from my 1st Marriage, but seldom visited them, they were heavy smokers, their Lounge was a Nicotine stained Blue haze of smoke, and I suffer from Asthma, so needed to be in an environment with better quality Air.
They didn't visit us either, we were a smoke free zone, no ashtrays provided, and no smoking in the company of the children, if they really needed to smoke that much, they could take a walk up the garden to do.it!

We get on well with DIL's parents, they are lovely people & very easy to like! Our ex-SIL's parents were a different kettle of fish! His father was a domineering man who did his best to spoil the wedding & his mother was a timid, nervous little person in fear of her husband. We only met them on a handful of occasions through the 7 year marriage. SIL didn't show any of his father's traits - the marriage failed after several unsuccessful IVF attempts & he & DD drifted apart & divorced amicably. DD has now found her soul mate who is sadly an orphan, so no parents to befriend!

One DiLs parents are very rich, live in a totally different world, but have to say they are very approachable, always seem pleased and interested when we meet and most appropriately adore our son. Other DiL only now has her father DM died 7 years ago. Both parents lived a very parochial life wishing to inflict all with political views. DIls father still the same but we get on for the rare occasion we do meet. Another case of liking DS immensely.

I’ve always had wonderful friendships with my 3 lots of outlaws. But am reeling at present as in December one of my sons lost his MIL to cancer, then last week my DD lost her MIL to cancer too. My other sons FIL now has early dementia and I’m just so sad and heartbroken by it all.

DH (2nd) has no parents and very little contact with his adult children. Hubby (1st) parents were complete PITAs so I’m thankful not to have to deal with any now!

In our family "Outlaws" are not your child's in-laws. They are the unmarried partners of your children. I wish there were a word for the other set of in-laws; we get on well with our three.

That made me LOL FarNorth.
Were they sent there years ago or was it their choice ?.

Have a rather lovely relationship with SP Mum. She's kind and gentle and we meet regularly for lunch when not in LD.

Best of friends with all of them. No complaints at all. In fact I miss my D's MiL who sadly died a few years ago, 2014 as I visited her regularly twice a week for years after she lost her husband. We holidayed together and also did long-haul when our offspring emigrated.

Late H's parents were lovely too, so I'd say I've been lucky with in-laws all round. In fact I've got on with everyone apart from those who envy the fact that I genuinely get along with everyone----but they don't bother me.

Having very little family of my own I have been lucky enough have some lovely in-laws over the years. Admittedly some more lovely than others, but generally have got on well with them and been very close friends with some.

We exchange a Christmas card with one set last saw them 10 years ago. the other I would not know them if we passed in the street. Nothing to do with us it is the way they want it. Tried and failed.

We get together for family occasions, they’re all jolly nice but we don’t socialise with them outside the family.

Our DIL’s family live about 20 miles away, but apart from an odd birthday party or christening, we have seen nothing of them since the wedding nearly 18 years ago. No reason, just why would we pal up with them just because our children wed? Never share joint Christmas or anything.

Our SIL’s family are in Australia, we saw them on an occasional visit when we went over earlier in the marriage, 19 years ago, but then DD and family moved to another state, so no more. Not bothered at all.
They now live a couple of hours from DD and family, but they see very little of them either, so don’t suppose we will ever meet up again.

My DD had lovely parents in law, sadly he died some years ago, his widow lives in central London, I keep in touch with her she is quite frail now we meet up if I'm in town. In normal times DD and family go to Portugal for three weeks in the summer and Mil goes with them, I join them for a week and her Mil chat away all week!

Wonderful yiddish word - MACHATUNIM ( spoken pretty much phonetically), - which means the parents, etc. of your son and daughter in laws. No proper word in English to cover this 'relationship'.
So, I four currrent machatunim - one I have never met as my DiL's parents live in USA, and have never actually come here, although they have now been married for nearly twenty years. They go there to visit (when virus permits).

The others, I have all met, and know. Only one I would really get on with, but as she loves in North Yorkshire, not really the opportunity.

My daughter, who never married, and whose ex-partner - (father of her daughter) sadly died a few years back, does get on extremely well with his sister and family. Not so much with his Mum (who is DM reader - which says it all).

My parents took into their bosom my to-be MiL who was a widow. They paid all her costs for our wedding, and she would be round their flat every weekend for afternoon tea. She and her daughter were always included in our families Christmas arrangements, etc. When a few years later she re-married a wealthy man, she virtually cut my parents out of her life - and I could never quite forgive her for that.

One SIL only has a Dad who has lived in Thailand for the last 6 year. We met him a few times but not someone we would see much if he were nearer.
DD3 has very nice In Laws who are obviously very fond of her. We see them a few times each year at family get togethers and
get on fine, although we haven’t ever seen them separately.

The only set we don’t speak to are the ones in the UK. Our son in law doesn’t speak to them, either,so it would be most odd if we did. He says they are, ‘dead to me.’ The rest of them we see from time to time and we are quite friendly with some and go out for dinner occasionally.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing that there is no specific word in English for these kinds of relationships - the parents / family of ones child’s husband/ wife. In Italian there are specific names , which perhaps shows a wider concept in that country of “family”. We like / are friendly with all of ours but 2 lots are in different countries and 2 are in this country but at a different end of it from us. We meet up when they are visiting or we are visiting their area.

Always got on well with DDs in-laws, not so well with DS's. Haven't met my younger son's prospective in-laws yet and what with covid, I don't expect I shall in the near future.

Other than meeting them at the wedding, we have rarely gotten together with them. Our DD has two sets of in laws because her DH's parents divorced and remarried. The grown kids and grandkids live away now, but both sets of in-laws are here in town. If we see each other we are chatty, but we don't see each other socially.

Our middle son has FIL in town, and since he is single, we include him in all family dinners and birthday gatherings.

Our youngest just started dating and now living with girlfriend, but we haven't even met her parents yet because of Covid! Expect to be cordial but not actively social with them eventually.

On speaking terms but not friends.

I forgot I actually have some outlaws - that's because they are in Australia and I've had no contact with them at all.

We were friends with DS2's in laws before they got together, so nothing changed there. DD's ex was adopted and his parents were a generation up, and in a different part of the country. The other two sets are a couple of hours drive away. We send Christmas cards to all of them, and presents to two sets, but otherwise not that much contact.

I love my late husband’s family and still travel 4,000 miles to see them most years.