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How well do you get on with...

(58 Posts)
MrsPickle Sat 27-Feb-21 19:43:58

We may not get on with DiL perfectly harmoniously, but we are good friends with her parents.
Been away on holiday with them, meals, coffees etc. But we agreed to keep our own confidences.

I remember my parents having a 'cordial' relationship with my in laws (with whom I enjoyed a warm and loving ralationship), but they kept their distance.

Hetty58 Sat 27-Feb-21 19:55:20

I've never had any contact with them (or wish to) - except briefly at weddings.

vampirequeen Sat 27-Feb-21 20:18:12

Never met one set of inlaws. Met the other once. Found her to be an incredibly rude, overbearing woman who treated my DD with no respect whatsoever.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Feb-21 20:18:16

Our son in law is the baby in his family. His parents are sadly no longer living. His father had died when he was mid-teens. His mother was a lovely lady but died 3 months after her son married our youngest daughter. Sadly she never got to know the two gorgeous grandchildren we now have.

sodapop Sat 27-Feb-21 20:23:00

My daughter's in laws were American so we only saw them infrequently but always got along well.

Humbertbear Sat 27-Feb-21 21:49:18

We have become very good friends with DiLs parents. We have been speaking to them every week on zoom during lockdown and pre-Covid we used to out with them for dinner once a week. We all consider ourselves very fortunate that our children got married and gave us new friends.

M0nica Sat 27-Feb-21 21:58:50

The two families have melded into one. No family celebration on either side is complete without each other. We usually stay with outlaws when visiting DS and family and we refer to each other as family.

Grandma70s Sat 27-Feb-21 22:06:31

I get on all right with them when I see them, which is very rarely because we live hundreds of miles apart. We email each other from time to time.

Esspee Sat 27-Feb-21 23:22:46

I love my late husband’s family and still travel 4,000 miles to see them most years.

B9exchange Sun 28-Feb-21 00:05:09

We were friends with DS2's in laws before they got together, so nothing changed there. DD's ex was adopted and his parents were a generation up, and in a different part of the country. The other two sets are a couple of hours drive away. We send Christmas cards to all of them, and presents to two sets, but otherwise not that much contact.

FarNorth Sun 28-Feb-21 00:10:51

I forgot I actually have some outlaws - that's because they are in Australia and I've had no contact with them at all.

NotSpaghetti Sun 28-Feb-21 00:25:27

On speaking terms but not friends.

CanadianGran Sun 28-Feb-21 00:26:05

Other than meeting them at the wedding, we have rarely gotten together with them. Our DD has two sets of in laws because her DH's parents divorced and remarried. The grown kids and grandkids live away now, but both sets of in-laws are here in town. If we see each other we are chatty, but we don't see each other socially.

Our middle son has FIL in town, and since he is single, we include him in all family dinners and birthday gatherings.

Our youngest just started dating and now living with girlfriend, but we haven't even met her parents yet because of Covid! Expect to be cordial but not actively social with them eventually.

GrannyRose15 Sun 28-Feb-21 00:52:34

Always got on well with DDs in-laws, not so well with DS's. Haven't met my younger son's prospective in-laws yet and what with covid, I don't expect I shall in the near future.

vegansrock Sun 28-Feb-21 06:10:25

Maybe it’s a cultural thing that there is no specific word in English for these kinds of relationships - the parents / family of ones child’s husband/ wife. In Italian there are specific names , which perhaps shows a wider concept in that country of “family”. We like / are friendly with all of ours but 2 lots are in different countries and 2 are in this country but at a different end of it from us. We meet up when they are visiting or we are visiting their area.

nanna8 Sun 28-Feb-21 06:47:21

The only set we don’t speak to are the ones in the UK. Our son in law doesn’t speak to them, either,so it would be most odd if we did. He says they are, ‘dead to me.’ The rest of them we see from time to time and we are quite friendly with some and go out for dinner occasionally.

ginny Sun 28-Feb-21 07:56:27

One SIL only has a Dad who has lived in Thailand for the last 6 year. We met him a few times but not someone we would see much if he were nearer.
DD3 has very nice In Laws who are obviously very fond of her. We see them a few times each year at family get togethers and
get on fine, although we haven’t ever seen them separately.

Franbern Mon 01-Mar-21 08:34:43

Wonderful yiddish word - MACHATUNIM ( spoken pretty much phonetically), - which means the parents, etc. of your son and daughter in laws. No proper word in English to cover this 'relationship'.
So, I four currrent machatunim - one I have never met as my DiL's parents live in USA, and have never actually come here, although they have now been married for nearly twenty years. They go there to visit (when virus permits).

The others, I have all met, and know. Only one I would really get on with, but as she loves in North Yorkshire, not really the opportunity.

My daughter, who never married, and whose ex-partner - (father of her daughter) sadly died a few years back, does get on extremely well with his sister and family. Not so much with his Mum (who is DM reader - which says it all).

My parents took into their bosom my to-be MiL who was a widow. They paid all her costs for our wedding, and she would be round their flat every weekend for afternoon tea. She and her daughter were always included in our families Christmas arrangements, etc. When a few years later she re-married a wealthy man, she virtually cut my parents out of her life - and I could never quite forgive her for that.

grannysyb Mon 01-Mar-21 09:05:38

My DD had lovely parents in law, sadly he died some years ago, his widow lives in central London, I keep in touch with her she is quite frail now we meet up if I'm in town. In normal times DD and family go to Portugal for three weeks in the summer and Mil goes with them, I join them for a week and her Mil chat away all week!

Calendargirl Mon 01-Mar-21 09:13:00

Our DIL’s family live about 20 miles away, but apart from an odd birthday party or christening, we have seen nothing of them since the wedding nearly 18 years ago. No reason, just why would we pal up with them just because our children wed? Never share joint Christmas or anything.

Our SIL’s family are in Australia, we saw them on an occasional visit when we went over earlier in the marriage, 19 years ago, but then DD and family moved to another state, so no more. Not bothered at all.
They now live a couple of hours from DD and family, but they see very little of them either, so don’t suppose we will ever meet up again.

LauraNorder Mon 01-Mar-21 09:18:06

We get together for family occasions, they’re all jolly nice but we don’t socialise with them outside the family.

Yammy Mon 01-Mar-21 10:07:33

We exchange a Christmas card with one set last saw them 10 years ago. the other I would not know them if we passed in the street. Nothing to do with us it is the way they want it. Tried and failed.

henetha Mon 01-Mar-21 10:25:13

Having very little family of my own I have been lucky enough have some lovely in-laws over the years. Admittedly some more lovely than others, but generally have got on well with them and been very close friends with some.

EllanVannin Mon 01-Mar-21 10:27:53

Best of friends with all of them. No complaints at all. In fact I miss my D's MiL who sadly died a few years ago, 2014 as I visited her regularly twice a week for years after she lost her husband. We holidayed together and also did long-haul when our offspring emigrated.

Late H's parents were lovely too, so I'd say I've been lucky with in-laws all round. In fact I've got on with everyone apart from those who envy the fact that I genuinely get along with everyone----but they don't bother me.

Kim19 Mon 01-Mar-21 10:31:00

Have a rather lovely relationship with SP Mum. She's kind and gentle and we meet regularly for lunch when not in LD.