Unhappy relationship

Sorry Tabby I'm not clear if you mean you are physically dependent on your partner and need help with daily living or he just takes care of everything in your life.
Perhaps you need to start taking small steps towards independence from him as preparation for moving on. As others have said being alone does not equate with loneliness, several of us on GN left long standing relationships to live alone. In my opinion its a mistake to move directly from one relationship to another without time to take stock of your life.

Hi redhead, I'm scared to be on my own, especially at night.And I am totally dependent on him.Plus, I can't seem to work out how to use this forum.If I could find someone on here to talk to it would be so helpful for me.Someone who is in similiar situation or someone who has been in similiar situation and come through it.

How about talking to the Samaritans? They are not just for people contemplating ending their life. They don't offer advice but they do listen.

If you need actual advice, you could ask Citizens Advice about your options.

Hi wellbeck, I am new here and I don't even know if my messages are going through okay.And messages don't seem to even be coming in my in box.If you get this, would you maybe be able to let me know.Very hard to understand how to use.So sorry if that s is my 1nd message to you.

Sorry if I'm not using this properly.Thank you to all who messaged me with your kind, cosiderate words.I am scared to be by myself self.And to be honest I'm sort of in 2 minds as sometimes he really nice.But other times he can be quite mean.I love him.And we both suffer with depression.He can be quite aggressive verbally to me, but he says he isn't.I just feel so confused.He has nowhere to go if we do part.I just wondered if there is anyone out there in a similiar situation who would maybe like to talk to me.I have no friends.I have social anxiety and am very much on my own.

First of all, what’s making you unhappy? I don’t want to know, but do you know what it is ? Can you and your husband sit down and talk things over and find a solution? If there’s someone else involved, then I’m afraid, you’re on a slippery slope. I know some marriages can survive infidelity. But, believe me, it’s not a nice place to be in. But so is being on your own. However, you can be ‘lonely’ in a relationship. Only you know what you really want.....go for it, whatever it is. Life’s too short..

Living alone is not the same as being lonely. I have lived alone for twenty years and have only occasionally felt lonely. What is it you are scared of? Be specific, not just a no-one to talk to. Have you spoken to your partner about how you feel? Communication is key. If it's gone beyond that, then what's the worse that can happen if you split?

Leaving is hard but worth it.I,can honestly say I really like living on my own.
(I realise it’s different if you lose a husband you loved).

I think you could explain a bit more without personal detail what’s your status married etc. It will give someone who maybe able to advise you better and it’s always a good thing to talk.

It depends on how unhappy you are. I left when I realised that I couldn't live that way for then next 30/40 years. It really had a case of run or suicide. I just knew I had to escape and being alone would be preferable to being with him.

For me living alone wasn't the same as being alone. I gained the freedom to be me and relax in my own home rather than walking on eggshells and waiting for the next confrontation.

Relationship

Lots of us I’m sure have been in your situation one time or another Tabby, lockdown probably not helping either, for me I’d rather be alone than in an unhappy situation, is your partner also unhappy too? A lot depends on whether the real action ship is saveable, why do you not want to be alone? Hope you find a way of getting things sorted , life is too short to be unhappy

the concept of a Mr/Ms Right may not always be helpful.

My experience was that I felt more alone in an unhappy marriage than I have ever felt in my life. Celebrating the 70th wedding anniversary of a friend's parents made me start thinking "Could I cope with another 45 years of this?" and that spurred my decision, I'm aware, though, that not everyone has the same viewpoint as I.

Well you can't have your cake and eat it. Either you are with someone or you are alone. If you want to find someone else then you will probably have to go it alone until you find Mr Right. You may find you actually enjoy living alone if you have friends and family or can participate in groups and activities. The level of participation depends on you, if you want round the clock companionship then you could get heavily involved with some kind of charity work? Then the time you spend alone will be limited. Meanwhile, you could keep an eye out for Mr Right but don't be disappointed if he doesn't turn up.

Yes it must be miserable to feel stuck in an unhappy relationship. I am sure others on here can help if you tell us what is making you feel this way.

is it better the devil you know ?
why don't you want to be alone.

Anyone else in an unhappy relationship but doesn't want to be alone?I don't know how to sort this.Anyone else in similiar situation who would like to talk? Just feel so miserable and so stuck.