A question of etiquette perhaps?

Not a problem here. My boys bring wine, beer & flowers. Flowers started when wives arrived on the scene. I love cooking so I am very happy to do the cooking. To be fair we get invites back too.
Sadly will not see family this Easter due to lock downs. Very sad but necessary.

With family I always ask if I can provide a pudding or cheese etc but always take a bottle of nice wine and chocolates or some other little gift. Rarely take flowers as it means the hostess has to stop and rummage for a vase, trim the flowers, arrange them, find a place to display them etc. all which could be a nuisance when she’s busy.
When people come to me I’m happy to accept a bottle or chocs but don’t expect it.

I wouldn't expect those invited to do or bring anything. AC would more than likely bring flowers, wine as a Thank You.

My daughter and family come to me most Sundays. They usually bring something with them - flowers or wine, sometimes a loaf of bread or a cake. Certainly not expected but very much appreciated.

Visits from children always involves a stay of a few days as they live quite a distance away. They always come loaded with bags of 'gifts' which invariably turn out to be the leftover contents of their fridge and fruit bowl and anything that needs fixing! I guess that reflects our family traditions of not wasting food and believing that almost anything can be mended. Do the same with the food when we visit them (plus maybe a home made cake) but 'fixing things' is strictly our department.

Well, it depends on how "casual" your relationship is with your children. And whether you really consider them (and yourselves) to be "guests" in each other's homes or just part of the family. If the latter, then I wouldn't expect them to bring anything. Though of course it would be nice if they bring something extra!

I was brought up never to visit someone empty handed, even if you only take a bar of chocolate or a packet of biscuits, and I brought our children up to do the same, it's just good manners. Whether they're coming for a meal or just dropping in for coffee they always bring something - but don't usually contribute to the meal itself.

No if I were inviting people to my home for a meal I wouldn’t expect or want them to bring anything. We are the hosts, and I especially wouldn’t want my children to bring anything except themselves.

To be honest, if someone brings a bottle of wine I wouldn’t be impressed as we choose the wine etc and would feel we had to put their bottle of wine out to drink, regardless of whether it’s decent (or not).

I would always take something like a bottle of wine or a desert, but I would never expect my own children to bring anything to their own parents house

Mine always ask, however I often tell them not to bothers as they both have children to deal with. However if I’m ever invited I always offer to bring something, if nothing is required I take a small gift, wine flowers etc. X

My SIL used to come to stay every Christmas and Easter. She never had us there because she didn’t have the space and anyway, never entertained. She came with BIL, children and eventually grandchildren. Never ONCE did she offer to bring food, wine, to help or anything else. We might have been running a hotel! No hints were ever heeded. I don’t think she had any idea of the work and expense involved.

My children would ask if there is anything I want them to bring, and generally would bring alcohol if they wanted it. Sometimes they bring me flowers too.
I always take food at Christmas to my daughters because I want to lighten the load of preparation and cooking so they can enjoy Christmas day too, and I help tidy up when the meal is over.
Common courtesy in my opinion.

I would probably take flowers....

I always offer to take something or offer to make a dessert. I would also always take wine/flowers.

It has been so interesting to see all your thoughts on this ?

Don't expect it from my family. My lovely DIL has asked, and while saying no several times, I realized she wanted to contribute, so now she regularly does the stuffing for any turkey dinner. She is always the first one up and helping to clear the table as well.

It's funny, even if we are visiting my daughter and family miles away I will insist on cooking at least one or two meals, and she will happily sit with a glass of wine while I take over her kitchen.

With friends we always bring a little something, or ask if we can contribute a dish.

I always tell mine just to bring themselves, thought they sometimes bring a bottle of wine anyway, especially if it is a 'special' meal.

In the early days of our sons visiting us as part of a couple, they would offer to help wash the dishes afterwards, but I always thanked them but said there was no need - my parents always turned down my offers of help when we visited with the children, and it was so nice to have a break from such chores that I now enjoy giving my own children that break.

One DiL is from another country, where it seems you wouldn't dream of turning up totally empty-handed at some else's home. It took her some time to accept that we genuinely don't expect her to bring anything here, but she got there in the end
Her grandma, on the other hand, on her occasional visits, can't bring herself to break with that practice when here, and insists on bring something, even if it's just a banana or a single wrapped chocolate.

I know that both of my sons and their wives take along a good amount of food and drink when visiting friends.

I wouldn’t expect anything. I used to cook every Sunday. Now on my own I never get an invitation. I regularly cooked Sunday dinner for 10 of us, now I’m lucky to get a text. So enjoy your get together whilst you can,

My son and his partner have just left. We had lunch in the garden, and they didn't bring anything, which is fine by me. The last thing I want when I'm planning menus is to be unsure which dishes or other foodstuffs are going to be brought along, and I also don't want to put any pressure on them to feel obliged to prepare anything before they leave. Plus, as others have said, I like to think that my son sees this as his home, and that my DIL knows that she is always welcome as one of the family.

It was lovely to see them - it's been over a year.

My daughter always asks what she can bring, and I do the same if we go to her. It would be something like ingredients such as veg for main course, or a dessert.

You are quite right MOnica and your take on the question makes me feel better.

I'd never ask Stepdaughter and family come empty-handed always Stepson too but his ex always brings flowers or chocolate when she comes with grandson

Our AC always ask if they can bring something ( in normal times when we can have a cooked meal) I usually say, like many others do ‘just yourselves’ and it’s up to them if they then bring a gift of flowers/wine.Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. They all live fairly local so just come for a couple of hours.
I think friends and other relatives are a different case, and really should bring a gift ( and they do.)

When my kids come it's usually to stay over. They tend not to bring anything other than themselves and that suits me fine. Often they go out to dinner and I stay with the GC which suits me down to the ground. Lovely. If this son happens to be in the area on business he will sometimes pop his head round the door with some flowers. I love spontaneity and never have any expectations. Blessed is she who expects nothing...... And....I do feel truly blessed with my children. I daresay they may well do the conventional thing with their contemporaries but certainly not me, thank goodness.

We are going to DS’s home tomorrow for a meet up and BBQ, first time for ages, but I think it will be cold! However, DH is very keen, me, not so much, (brr!)

We will take a bottle of red wine and some Easter chocs for GC’s.

When they come to us for Sunday dinner, pre Covid, they bring wine and some beer, but never food. Don’t expect them to, we provide the food, as do they if we go to theirs.