Keeping in touch with teenage boyfriend

i am curious why the OP didn't include her married status in her OP, because whether she is currently in a marriage or partnership, or on her own does vary one's attitude to this 'friendship'.

Molly I think most of us assumed you were married because. otherwise why would you post about a friendship like this?

Out of the blue a letter came from a man that I had been engaged to over 50 years ago, asking me to reply etc.

I ignored it.

The now defunct Friends Reunited was founded on the principle of reuniting people who had once known one another through school, college and work.

A dear friend, dying far too young from cancer, had a yen to get in contact with people she (we) had known from our younger days. FR was very useful in that respect. She enjoyed being in touch with these people again, sharing stories about the past and their lives since.

As this site attests, people enjoy travelling down memory lane. Few would admit to never having wondered what happened to someone they once knew. I suspect too that lockdown has triggered an upsurge in people wanting to known what has happened to others.

I have a web presence with contact email. Occasionally, I receive a message from someone I haven’t heard from in years and wondering how I am. Some have developed into longer and enduring conversations.

I don’t see any harm in sharing memories even if some are tinted by rose-coloured specs.

The ‘he says he s always loved me’ from 16 to what 50, 60, 70 is the danger signal Easy words indeed and obviously the author and her chap are living in a little time warp of rainbows and unicorns
I see my first boyfriend in passing very very occasionally we swap Christmas cards and this year out of the blue he rang me on my birthday (it couldn’t of course have anything to do with his wife dying a year or two ago?) and we had a nice chat but.........oh no no no
Last year at a cinema I saw my ex second husband who I hadn’t set eyes on for about 30 years He recognised me and set up a brief conversation afterwards my friend said who was that old man and she was right I told her but he was nothing like I remember him and didn’t give me a slightest flutter
Have you met up with this guy yet ?
Nice to dream in these go tough old times though

17 years ago, I was contacted through Friends Reunited by someone I knew at school but had never dated. He is older than me and was friends with the brother of my best friend so we were acquainted with each other in the sixties.

To cut a long story short, and to quote Charlotte Brontë, “Reader, I married him.”

Lost my husband to a similar situation. She told him she’d loved him since they were 14. He was at that dodgy mid life crisis time. By the time he realised it was all rubbish he’d destroyed our lives. No it’s not innocent and fun.

Polarbear I'm sorry to hear that and it's a warning to others who might think it's a bit of innocent and nostalgic fun.

No. There was a reason for dropping all of them and I can’t imagine that changing.

If you or he are married OP you need to stop. If you are both single rock on.

Nowt wrong with staying friends. A husband should think of them no differently to a female friend. If they do they have a problem.

Bet you wished you hadn't asked the question now. ??

I am in touch with an old boyfriend. We live hundreds of miles apart so never meet up but send each other a text a couple of times a year just to say hello and catch up. Husband knows and has no problem with it.

I got a phone call out of the blue from a chap I used to go out with in 1976 .( He didn't turn up one night when we were dating and I later found out that a previous girlfriend had phoned him saying that she'd just given birth to his child . )He'd married her but she died last year and he phoned me wanting to meet up again !
He'd left the message on the ansaphone but I didn't reply .

I had a long term boyfriend from 15 - 19 and would just like to know how his life and career worked out. He wouldn’t have been right for me and I was right to walk away, but I would like to feel he was happy.

No! Could think of nothing worse tbh and DH would strongly disapprove, he’s the jealous type even after all these years of marriage!! I would feel the same if the boot was on the other foot but if it works for you OP good luck!

I used to have one of my teenage boyfriends living round the corner from me, that I used to see fairly regularly.
Funnily enough, most of my ex boyfriends I still stayed friendly with after we split up, apart from this guy!
20 years later, we'd be civil to each other and sometimes had a general chat but he was always in a relationship, often with friends of mine! He's moved away now.
I must admit there are one or two ex boyfriends I would like to know about, just out of curiosity!

Yes. I met the love of my life when we were both 16. University eventually meant that we lost touch (no mobiles or emails then). I tried to find him before I got married but couldn’t. He contacted me 20+ years ago and we have been in touch ever since. He is married - mine ended in divorce. I have had a couple of relationships since getting divorced but none compares to him.

I did with my first proper boyfriend over the years and was rather amused that each time I met him he had a new wife. I found it mildly flattering about his not very subtle hints that he would drop everything to give it another go until I met my husband. The ex asked me for a meet up again and I said that I'd love to as my husband was looking forward to meeting him. Strangely enough, I never heard from him again.
I do have another boyfriend who is a "friend". I am also friends with his wife and have introduced him to my husband. He was a lovely bloke but was a drinker which didn't work for me. In every other way, I loved his personality. Neither of us would ever look at each other in anything but a platonic manner. Sadly, he is now a functioning alcoholic with health issues so I don't suppose he'll be around much longer.

My first boyfriend in South Africa became rather famous, and I sometimes look at the papers to see if he is mentioned. Unfortunately there was a newspaper report that he had gone into hospital for a knee operation and caught MRSA. He had to have his leg amputated. There was a photo of him in a wheelchair. He looked so old and feeble. My heart bled.

Met my DH too young to have any important boyfriends. He knows who they were and I knew some of his girlfriends.
Like others have said it is harmless as long as neither of you is hurting anyone.
I know couples who got back together after they both lost partners and it has worked out fine.

I've crossed paths with a few old boyfriends and it's all been very friendly and civil but I'm of the mind that an ex is an ex for a reason....
I'm happy for the odd message / card etc but no more than that.

I think it’s rather touching that you both have fond memories and are in contact again. Are you planning on meeting up? As long as you keep your wits about you, just in case all’s not what it seems, I don’t see the harm. If this is the con some are suggesting, he’s playing a very long game, exchanging emails with you for ten years! You say you just drifted apart so there’s no troubling back history.

It certainly wouldn’t work with me and any of my exes though, no!

Yes, still in touch with a boyfriend I had at 17. Friends with his wife too and my husband and I are godparents to his 3 daughters. It was an innocent relationship!

No, I dont think my husband would be too pleased. Also my exes are married with children, so dont think their other halves would be keen. Somebody recently told me that they had met up with an old boyfriend of mine. I was interested in what he looked like now. He said why are you interested hes an old man with a bus pass now.

Out of the blue I had an email from an old boyfriend, just a couple of years ago. He found me on FB. We had a series of chatty, catching up emails, but left it at that. I do wonder how some boyfriends from years ago are getting on, one in particular who broke my heart, but I haven't been able to find him online. I was shocked to discover that one boyfriend had died very suddenly whilst working overseas. To be honest OP, we are all curious, and as long as neither of you are in long term relationships or deceiving anyone, there can be no harm.