Finding a good Man Later in Life

I would suggest that you arrange to meet in a very public place, in the day-time and ask a friend to phone you at a specific time so that you can give the friend a coded message or use the phone call as an excuse to leave.

Arrange to meet for coffee (lunch is good too. It’s a measure of your date if he’s kind enough to treat you too! ) but only after u have chatted via the official website for a bit. Initially, don’t give out anything too personal or too much detail about where u live or work. Keep it simple. Don’t exchange mobile or landline numbers too soon. Ask Mr Google if he has an on line footprint. Only chat at first via the dating website.

Before your meeting, tell someone where you’re going & who u plan to meet. This is important. Tell them when you’re safely home too.
IF you decide you do not want to meet again, a simple one or two lines via text or email is sufficient. Don’t need to make excuses or go into lots of detail.
Keep your antenna up at all times & if he dares to ask, even for the price of a stamp, be very very careful!
If an awkward situation arises, remember you’re in charge. You simply walk away. After all, he’s a stranger until you decide to change the status quo!
After a while you get to suss out the “players”, the charlatans, the blokes who are only after one thing, the liars & the cheaters. The language they use in emails is an insight and some chaps put up ancient photos which don’t resemble them now!
Don’t get too hung up on things. Relax, take care & enjoy the date.
It worked for me & we’re very happy together. Engaged even ….

You really ought to have a photo on the site. Have you been chatting with men who don’t provide a photo?
Physical appearance can be such a powerful turnoff so don’t waste your time meeting people that you have no idea what they look like, nor those who have no idea what you look like.

I am not suggesting that people have to be physically attractive but we all have ‘types’ we dislike. For example I can’t stand beards or long hair and most certainly not pony tails.

I always met in a very public place, museum coffee shops to be precise. I insisted in advance that the meeting should last no more than one hour with no mention of meeting again.

Everyone I met was nice in their own way with one exception (a minister of religion). I made a point of giving them an interesting hour even if they were not for me then we both went home to think it over.

A cup of coffee doesn’t require trust. If they are completely unsuitable and you can’t last the hour then give the reason and leave. Say for example he shows he is a racist, or uses foul language it is simple to say you are sorry but there is no way you would be prepared to continue the conversation and state you intend to leave. If you cannot be assertive don’t do online dating.

I met my OH and knew I wanted to see him again within 5 mins. He is very different to what I thought I was looking for but we just clicked. I hope you will be as successful. Good luck.

I met my DH online. Meet up in a very public place. We met in a local shopping centre and went for a coffee. Your first date doesn't have to be anymore than that. I arranged for a friend to text me 15 mins after I was due to meet him. If I was OK I was to text 'I'm fine'. If I didn't feel safe I was to text 'OK'. It also allowed me to say an emergency had occurred if I just wanted to leave. But it never came to that because like Esspee's it was just right and we both knew it.

I made a point of giving them an interesting hour even if they were not for me

I wonder how many men think that as well? (Not your date Esspee, I mean men in general)

I can’t imagine meeting anyone that I havn’t seen a photo of , I suggest starting by finding out his interests - do they fit in with yours. Ask about his work or what it used to be if he is retired, a car, house, holidays, you will soon get an idea if he is a genuine prospect.
Meet for coffee in a public place, then go by your instincts

I met my husband via a newspaper ad so no photo. I think it's a bit shallow to go by appearances. My husband may not be the most handsome man in the world but he is kind, generous and very tolerant. I might add that I'm no oil painting either. No photos in the world will do justice to a kind heart.
Meet in a public place coastal gran and keep the first date short. Daytime meetings are safest too. You can always arrange for someone to ring you during the date in case you need an excuse to leave. Go for it and I hope you will be as happy as we are.

How does he know he can trust you? The point is nobody knows when you meet people either in real life or online.

Meet up somewhere public and get to know each other.

Good luck, I hope it works out.

As others have said, meet in a public place for coffee, decide after you have met if you want to make it lunch. Pay for yourself. Some men think paying for you puts you under some sort of obligation.
Do put up a recent photo, it can save a lot of wasted time. Some men I met commented that I was the only woman they had met who actually looked like my photo. Be careful about the information you provide about yourself such as where you live or too much personal detail. As the saying goes some older men are looking for a 'nurse or a purse' so be alert.
If it's a no go meeting often you can just have an interesting chat over a meal. If you do start seeing someone and they ask for money or a 'loan', for whatever worthy reason, just politely exit the relationship immediately.
I met my lovely partner of 15 years via internet dating so it can work. Good luck.

I would suspect, when a man doesn't provide a photo, that he may be married. Also, you can tell a lot about a person from their face as we get older - so much of your personality shows in your face.

costalgran. Have you met him yet?

When it comes to dating people I met online, I have several rules:
1. make it formal
2. choose a crowded place
3. inform my family and friends where I'm going
4. leave if you feel uncomfortable
5. avoid alcohol
In my opinion, these simple rules can make the dates with new people safer. I usually use SilverSingles to look for partners (it is good for older people and the silversingles cost is not so high in comparison to other sites). Fortunately, I haven't faced any issues when going on dates. Some men were very nice, but not for me, so we just talk like friends now and then.