Husband becoming obsessed with much younger single neighbour

I would not talk to her yet, but I would be having strong words with him. He is crossing the line, at best he will make a complete fool if himself, at worst she could become fed up with him and call the Police to have a word with him, and it would serve him right.
I agree with others, he has a unhealthy crush on this lady and it needs to stop. I would also be looking if I could stay with this weak, sad, idiotic man. I would have lost all respect for him by now. I honestly would be surprised if he has dementure, he just seems to be behaving in immature manner.
Its very sad all round, and my sympathies are with you on this.

I too agree with Espee, this needs to be stopped. I would find it very creepy to be aware of my every move being watched. After you have spoken to the woman, speak to your DH and tell him bluntly that he is making a fool of himself, and how would he feel if someone was 'stalking' your own DD like this ( assuming you have a DD). As others have suggested, maybe he needs an outlet for his community spirit, and could volunteer to help people who actually need his help.

He would have a ringing noise in his ears from the blasting he would get from me. I would verbally wipe the floor with him then watch when he finally realises that he is a stupid old git.

I would talk to her sooner rather than later as she is probably telling people about the silly old man opposite, apart from spreading around the neighbourhood one of her friends may confront him on her behalf.

Ask her to block his number.

Yes, talk to her, apologise for your husband’s behaviour. That way, she knows you know, and won’t have any problem believing her in the future, should she need to talk to you about it.
I can’t believe for one second, she would have any interest in him ( sorry ).
It does just sound like a kind of crush. It’ll most likely wear off.

What Espree said and the link Onwardand Upward put on is very insightful.

Also how would you feel if someone was watching your every move, school pick up, visitors? I'd feel "stalked".

She can't go about her daily life with out your OH watching her, that can't feel good.

I'd feel very uncomfortable at best and unsafe. I can't imagine the woman, a mother feels very safe with your OH watching her.

Talk to her and as others have said may be your GP and if your OH doesn't like what you are saying too bad.

Unless you think he may turn violent towards you. If you think there is any chance he may turn on you make sure you get some help and support in place Before his behaviour is addressed.

This situation needs addressing because YOU have to be able to live in your home.

You have the right to feel Safe and Comfortable in Your Home.

Whatever the reason behind your OH behaviour your post read as if you aren't feeling comfortable in your home at this time but I don't think your neighbours interest in your OH is the problem.

Good Luck

he is being very silly and it's embarrassing for you. i would call the lady and apologise if he is being a nuisance to her. he flirting with her in hope that she would respond back. that wont happen and he must be told he is actually embarrassing himself and her

What a nasty situation for you.
I just heard yesterday that a friend in her 50s was getting unwelcome attention from an older man who came to help put shelves up. She told him to get lost.
As others have said, she will probably tire of him if she hasn't already but it's you I am thinking of.

Humiliating and embarrassing. You should let him know how it makes you feel and it has gone on a long time, not unnoticed.

If there is something more going on, I would threaten to leave him.
There's nowt so strange as folk and I know a young woman whose new partner is at least 30 years her senior.

I agree with most of what Espee says.

It does indeed seem your dh is obsessed and obsessions can be very difficult to break. Blocking him on WhatsApp is good but won’t stop his obsession. Can you find something else to occupy him?

Luckygirl - you really DO need to change your user name. Naughty girl comes to mind !

I think I'd hit him over the head aswell. What on earth is he playing at?

I do not think that age protects us from these sorts of feelings. And long marriages often lack sparkle (hopefully they make up for that in other ways).

I remember having very strong feelings for someone at work when I was in my late 40s; I know it was reciprocated, as he made that very clear. I did nothing about it of course (married with 3 children) and just regarded it as a bit of icing on life's cake. And I made my position clear to the man.

I do not think this man should be blamed for developing these feelings for a neighbour - we are all only human - it is what he does about it that matters.

Maybe talk to him about it in a spirit of understanding rather than blame if you can - and with a shot of humour. Good luck!

What a sad situation.
This happened years ago to a friend of mine. The girl in question was actually getting presents and money off my friend’s husband. It came to a sudden end when the young woman hooked up with a new boyfriend and actually warned him off.
As another wise woman has already quoted here - no fool like an old fool !
An old man’s crush. What a twerp !

This is a difficult situation with the potential to escalate.
Maybe ask him if he has developed feelings for her? and it may well be a case of unrequited love!
Suggest to him that he could be accused of stalking, she could do a complete turn around, report him to the police, saying this unwanted attention is harassment.
If she is well off from running her own business she could pay tradesmen/gardeners to do any DIY projects.
And if he is still feeling the need to be helpful he could go along to his local Age Uk and volunteer his services to them.

I agree with what Esspee said.

Unless you talk to her and she is very understanding, you could find that she reports him to the police for harassment or stalking.

No fool like an old fool. hat a pain this must all be.

Interesting ?

You've tried to talk to him. You've chatted to her in the past, so I feel sure she will listen to you. Hope so.

This is infatuation, it needs nipping in the bud sooner rather than later before it causes awkwardness and embarrassment. I would speak to your husband and tell him that he is making rather a fool of himself, don’t let him shut you down, it will be difficult but he will be the laughing stock if he is not careful. I had this with a neighbour after my husband passed away, he was constantly offering to do jobs for me, I didn’t want him to and let him do one job. My daughter said he gave her the creeps so I stopped him doing work immediately and just politely refused. He later moved to the next village but it didn’t stop. I then started receiving gifts, expensive ones. I didn’t want them and returned them to him. It took a while but eventually stopped when his attentions were knocked back. It wasn’t very pleasant to be in the receiving end of unwanted attention, I suspect your neighbour feels the same.

Hello
This thread seems very familiar to me, have you posted about this before?

Definitely talk to her.

HAHA

Either way, don't suffer in silence. He's not considering your feelings , so don't consider his.

Or knock him on the head.
Knock some sense into it.

YES @MissAdventure! I agree. She most likely thinks OP is fine with it and is scared of falling out with you both.

Definitely talk to her! Be aware she could LIKE the attention without being romantically interested- but if that's the case she needs to be cruel to be kind to get him to knock it on the head.

I think perhaps if you speak to her, she will then feel comfortable to rebuff him without fear of offending you.