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I could not buy fruit for my children!

(17 Posts)
danielasha Wed 04-Aug-21 11:52:25

Good day to all! I am a mother of two beautiful children, the eldest is 5, the youngest is only a year old. I am running like a hamster in a wheel every day. There is no possibility to begin working yet. My husband works as a security guard in a bank, and we live on his salary. We have to take some money from savings on regular basis; otherwise, we will not be able to live. Recently, we calculated our family expenses, and it turned out that we could live like that for about a year, and then I would be able to begin working. I calmed down a little and thought – “fine, we will get through this”.
However, yesterday I went to buy groceries. I tried to pay with a card, but the cashier told me that there was not enough money! I even smiled, because it could not be real. Not so long ago, together with my husband, we checked the balance, there were almost 3 thousand dollars! But then I didn't feel like laughing, there really wasn't any money. So, it turned out that my husband lost everything in an online casino.
He immediately admitted where he spent the money. Only then, I understood why he was so weird lately. In the evenings, he was sitting alone on the couch. He did not play with the children and did not drop the phone out of his hands. I had already started being jealous, but in fact, this happened! I am just in shock! I wonder how I will feed the children. On what will we live?
The main thing is, imagine, he did not even win anything, he was just making deposits, hoping to win the jackpot. He says that he tried hard for his family. But he lies, in fact, he just became addicted to games. We got to the point of divorce, but then we thought about children. What are they to blame for? We decided to withdraw the rest of the money. It turned out that he did not have time to lose everything. Of course, $ 450 is not such a big amount, but believe me, when there is not enough money in the family; this is a huge support for children!
My husband ordered the withdrawal; I was sitting next to him and watching. He did everything right, it only remained to wait a little. But neither an hour later, nor a day later, the money was not credited to the account. We were on edge, especially my husband. We began writing to support. They answered - "wait". Well, we waited another day, and then wrote them 3 times, and finally, the casino responded, and demanded to pass verification. My husband urgently sent all the documents that were requested, and we began waiting again. We almost believed that we would soon get our money back. A day later, we started writing to support again, but it was useless, there was no answer. Moreover, on the same day, my husband's account was blocked for violating the rules of the casino.
Moreover, there were no violations. By the way, this fucking casino is called Ruby Fortune. As I understand it, he committed a crime while he was trying to withdraw the remaining 450$ out of 3000 of our hard-earned money? People, this is our own money, he did not win anything at the casino at all!
Now I do not know what to do, we are barely making ends meet. There are debts for utility payments. How to pay – I cannot even imagine. Today I went to the shop, bought basic products, and took those that were in stock. I stood at the fruit counter and did not take anything to the children. It will get worse further, it really bothers me. My husband does not play anymore, he is probably scared, but it is too late. Maybe someone knows what to do in such a situation, how to force the casino to return the money? Or, there are no miracles? Thank you in advance for any advice. Crying will not help, so I need to do something!

User7777 Wed 04-Aug-21 12:52:59

Christ, you poor woman.... there are no real winners in gambling, just losers. I realise your h feels bad about it. But maybe you could be in charge of finances instead of him. It sounds as if you might be in America. The kids must come first, for food, clothing and sundries. Is there a group similar to Gamblers Anonymous in your country. It's not too late to get back on track with your joint finances. Bite the bullet and stop the need for him to gamble right now.

vampirequeen Wed 04-Aug-21 12:53:37

I'm sorry but I don't know where you stand under the law regarding the Casino. However, having been married to a gambler, I would advise you to separate you money. Make sure his wages are paid into your bank account and transfer some to him each month for his expenses. This way he can't gamble away his wages. Make sure his name is removed from any credit cards you may have and put any savings into an account that requires both your signatures or just in your name. It sounds harsh but you have to cut his access to the money that is needed for your children.

grandtanteJE65 Wed 04-Aug-21 13:00:00

Leave him, Have you family you and the children can stay with for a while?

You will need to find a job, although as I have no idea what day care costs in the US or wherever you are, I realise it may still be hard to manage. Being a single mum to two small children is hard, but easier than living with a gambler.

Can you get any form of social security, food coupons or the like?

AGAA4 Wed 04-Aug-21 14:32:24

What an awful situation you are in danielasha. Do you have an advice service like our Citizens Advice Bureau? I think you need some legal help to get the money back.

BlueBelle Wed 04-Aug-21 14:37:15

Well he was screwed because he was found out if you had not challenged him I m guessing he d still be at it
I have known a gambler who never really intended to get involved really didn’t and it was always going to be the last time
It cost him his family and in the end (and partially related) his life
Are you in US or somewhere else that uses dollars ? I can’t help re jobs or day care but I d keep your money totally independent of his if you decide to stay, because like a dog that gets a taste for blood, he will always be prone to that one last time

Linbap Wed 04-Aug-21 14:43:14

Hi, Danielasha, I've never had to deal with a gambler, but I'm sorry you and the children are going through this.
I raised kids when even with one full time and one part time job we were below the poverty level, so I've know some ways to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads.
Google is now your best friend. For example, Google food banks. See which are close to you and what days they're open.
Then Google government benefits. If you're in the US, you'll find your way to a place about what you qualify for. There's a quiz type thing that covers all parts of your life. If you need to stop paying certain bills, cancel things like cable tv. Do whatever you can to pay rent or house payment. Cut utility use as much as you can, but call the utility companies and ask for help for keeping utilities on. If you need to, cancel wifi. Libraries have free wifi and you can often hook into it from the parking lot.
Evaluate every place you spend money. Right now you're in emergency mode.
Don't hesitate to sign up for any help you can get. Don't be ashamed of that. These are services your taxes pay for.
In my area, there are discount grocery stores. Forget "buy before" dates. Find cheap, nutritious food and if that fails, find tummy filling foods.
You'll make it through this.
But when the dust settles, your hubs has to find a group for gamblers so you never have to do this again. Until things are better, he may also need to get an extra part time job. He's done a horrible thing to his family and he needs to do whatever it takes to help you all continue to live indoors and eat food.

Allsorts Wed 04-Aug-21 15:02:40

If he still gambles leave him, you’ve no chance against an addiction, they will take the shirt of your back. The don’t gamble to win, but for that adrenaline rush just before they find out if they have won, if they do they gamble the lot again. It is one of the worst addictions, no substance being used they can’t be weaned of it. Some of them when they have hit Rock bottom and taken you all with them, might try, but odds on they will do it again. Protect yourself and your children.

barbramalo Mon 09-Aug-21 11:57:13

Ruby Fortune does have the history of dubious payouts. Why did you even play there after all the reviews online?

lyonss Fri 13-Aug-21 06:08:06

Issue a final reminder: If no solution has been found on a factual level, the operator must be informed that from now on, if a reasonable problem solution is not offered or the money is not transferred within a week.

NotSpaghetti Fri 13-Aug-21 08:10:42

I don't know what your best help is at the moment as you are not in the UK.
Do you have a church? They can be a great support.
There will be a food bank which would help too - and may even have a help and advice service (many do in the UK).
There will be a problem gambling charity in your state which will no doubt have ideas for you. And of course there is Gamblers Anonymous

I feel for you. Reach out to services. Encourage your husband to contact gambling services. This needs to stop for everyone's sake.


alanel Wed 18-Aug-21 12:02:34

To get started, I advise you to contact Helpline Don't we know how to use Google? The internet is full of sites where you can file a complaint about a casino and get an answer. , for example, on your casino site, where you can leave a review or complaint, there is supposedly an official

Esspee Wed 18-Aug-21 15:38:49

It is really irritating when the OP doesn’t have the decency to get back to all the kind people who gave their time to help.

Hithere Wed 18-Aug-21 18:53:13

I would concentrate on your dh and his financial infidelity, not the casino

He came clean because he got caught.
Unless he commits to treatment for his addiction and hands all the finances to you willingly - i would be out

If this a second time offense - no need giving him a chance.

Bluebellwould Wed 18-Aug-21 19:13:54

This reads as huge wind up which is probably why there is no response from OP and why there are so few responses from the kind Gransnet posters.

martiscore1 Tue 31-Aug-21 14:13:03

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

FarNorth Tue 31-Aug-21 14:30:55

Thanks for the advert, marti grin