If you wrote down what you look for in a partner, what would it say

Kind, affectionate, supportive, moral, honest, sense of humour, clean, non smoker, intelligent, interesting conversationalist, love of history, a reader. I consider myself lucky my husband has all those qualities. The only areas where we differ, I have no interest in sport, particularly his hobby golf. I also do 99% of the cooking but that's okay because he's a good clearer upper!

Were I back and looking again, and that is thankfully unlikely. My criteria wouldn't change he, whoever he may be, must be a non-smoker and tidy. The rest would be entirely negotiable, although this time round, I would check the tidiness factor more carefully.

On the other hand, had I rejected DH because he is terminally untidy, what a wonderful life I would have missed and a wonderful companion and love, not to mention the specific children and grandchildren that resulted for our union.

I think it is best to keep an open mind. Remember, if we find the perfect man, he will probably reject you because you do not meet his criteria for the perfect woman (and he would probably be a deasd bore).

I remember these words of wisdom:

What a woman needs is a man who will be kind, caring and sensitive to her every mood. She needs a man who will be strong and manly, who will defend her to the death and ensure her physical well-being in every way. A man who is intellectual, clever, enjoys books, plays, music and the finer things in life.

And most of all, what a woman needs is that these three men never meet each other ...

It's funny that spiders were mentioned. My OH spent 25 years in the forces but when a large spider ran between us and down behind the cushions, he did not rescue me. He just screamed and did nothing.

I think the taxpayers should ask for their money back!

I'm happily single - so can only talk from past experience. I'd look for a kind and understanding chap. He'd have to let me be exactly who I am, so never try to change me.

He'd have to be independent and in the background, have his own life and interests - and let me have mine. I'd hate to be lumbered with somebody needy.

I am happily married but if my circumstances were different. I would look for a masculine strong man with a sense of humour and social skills. Tolerant and mature with very good do it yourself abilities. Unselfish and compassionate independent and not needy. A man who likes to watch rugby as I do and likes a pint or two. Down to earth nature responsible and straight talking because I am.

Definitely not me MOnica my tolerance levels are just above zero.

How many contributors to this thread feel they have the attributes to attract and keep the paragons they describe?

I think we get more idea of what we think would suit us as we get older.
I was extremely shallow -I saw him, thought ‘I fancy that’.
48 years later he has all the qualities that I may have listed?
Maybe not all of them but certainly enough.

Generosity
Kindness
Tolerance
Animal lover
My husband to a T

Some one who likes my children and gets on with them and the rest of my family. This would be the most important trait for me.

Breathing!

Exactly what I have already!!

Intelligent. Easy going. Kind. Tolerant. Non smoker. Animal lover. Generous. Family man. Sense of humour.
I am very fortunate to have all of this and my best friend to boot.
My biggest gripe would be that he likes to anchor objects with Blue Tack. Dusting is a nightmare.

Companionable, good humoured; kind and thoughtful; willing to listen as well as speak; interested in the lives and opinions of others and not determined to force his own opinions on those who disagree with him; emotionally mature; honest but diplomatic; positive in approach to life and other people.

I would imagine most people would like other more material qualities in their partners, such as cleanliness, willingness to share practical tasks, etc, etc.

Must like David Bowie or tolerate him 100%
not afraid of spiders
Love Halloween
Love Christmas
Good sense of humor
Like nights out and festivals
like night in watching movies and cuddles
No mood swings lol

Kind
Clean finger nails
Slim (no beer belly)
Sense of humour
Someone to take care of all the household bills
Not controlling
Generous
Intelligent

so perhaps I’d say willing to have a balanced discussion and respect other people’s viewpoint.
Also good , or willing cook, non racist, , emotionally literate, only moderate drinker, generous ,to name but a few traits

I found some post it notes which had the caption
“When you meet Mr right make sure his middle name isn’t Always!”

Wow. Look at all these interesting answers. I've only just come back to this.
Thank you all for going with this

Kind, clean, could not care less about his politics so long as he does not belong to any racist party.
My partner and I have very different politics, we vote for different political parties, but we are respectful of each others views, and that is important too.

House trained socialist.

I think it is best to keep the list short and be open to all possibilities. DH may not be tidy, originally one of my absolutes, and as someone who needs order round them at times he drives me nuts with his stuff scattered everywhere.

But he is kind and loving and can mend anything.

I believe in keeping my options open.

Kind, intelligent, domesticated, presentable, nice voice, reasonably tall and definitely not fat, likes theatre and books, likes cats, treats women as people.

Would you consider loaning him?
I need a shelf fitted