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A police matter or not?

(71 Posts)
123gran Mon 06-Dec-21 14:02:42

DD works from home now in a converted bedroom at the front of the house. Recently she noticed a man in a house opposite but one row away watching her, then using binoculars to look. When he realised she’d seen him (she got up to close the curtains) he opened his bedroom window and peered down into the garden through his binoculars!!! Should she report him knowing that she’s no proof and he’ll deny it? He’s unlikely to try it again I’d have thought but likely to find another victim.

Jaibee007 Wed 08-Dec-21 18:48:52

You can't be sure though - during lockdown I would watch birds from my desk with binoculars - but I would have trouble proving that - it's definitely not a police matter, she simply needs to put up window film or net curtains I'm afraid

Summerfly Wed 08-Dec-21 10:43:19

It could quite easily be something and nothing, but many years ago, my sister had a similar problem. Being watched whilst hanging her washing out. She found it unnerving but didn’t mention it to anyone. It seemed innocent at first, but eventually the man in question started to appear naked at the window. Then fondling himself. The police were called and a hidden camera was put in place. Of course he was caught in the act, and proceedings were taken against him.
By all means, give the man in question the benefit of the doubt, but if it carries on and becomes more than just an innocent act, it must be reported to the police.

Oldnproud Wed 08-Dec-21 10:19:54

BlueBelle

oldnproud I would have expected that in the opening
post !!!

Exactly. Suspicious?

OnwardandUpward Wed 08-Dec-21 09:34:18

So sorry to hear of your daughter's troubles with this man. It seems disturbing and I use window film myself for privacy since I dislike nets.

One of my neighbours has an intensely bright light trained on their garden at night, which illuminates the whole garden (not sure why!) but has the effect of us not being able to bear to look in their direction. I think something like this might be a deterrent? I keep meaning to ask them why they have a search light haha.

BlueBelle Tue 07-Dec-21 21:35:59

oldnproud I would have expected that in the opening
post !!!

Naninka Tue 07-Dec-21 20:48:35

The best thing she can do is log each incident with date and time. This will provide evidence should the matter need police attention. It may also build a picture of when he is most likely to offend which your daughter can then work around.
Or he is a plane spotter or bird watcher!!

DeeDe Tue 07-Dec-21 20:27:37

Net curtains

Chewbacca Tue 07-Dec-21 19:53:26

She could put this up in her window. If the message didn't bother her nosey neighbour, the poor grammar might and he'd have to look away!

M0nica Tue 07-Dec-21 19:43:16

Just keep an eye out, and if he is seen doing it again, start a diary and notice when and for how long. If you can take a photo, or even a photo each time, after he has been watching 5 04 10 minutes. so that the police can see that the binoculars were trained on you. Make sure the photo prints a time and date on it.

Oldnproud Tue 07-Dec-21 18:37:04

message |Quote
123gran Mon 06-Dec-21 14:45:02
According to her neighbours this man often stands naked at his bedroom window so a bit of a reputation already.

I'm surprised you didn't drop that snippet of info in sooner, 123gran hmm

Hetty58 Tue 07-Dec-21 17:53:19

LovelyLady, I have a relative who knocks then immediately peers through our letter box - yes, a bad habit and very rude. I've installed a draught brush thingy (not needed as we have a well sealed porch) just to stop her!

LovelyLady Tue 07-Dec-21 17:42:07

Polnan. As a child I was taught :
windows are for looking out NOT for looking in.
We have a neighbour who comes to our door a couple of times a year when he’s lost his keys or has some local gossip. When he comes, before he knocks the door, he looks through our window and surprises (shocks) me when I see him peering through. It’s just rude!

Mummer Tue 07-Dec-21 17:31:14

Nothing to report here! Sounds as if he was trying out his Goggs and did what I did with mine- inadvertently ogled at the house behind ours! V. Embarrassing! However.should he do it again I'd be inclined to shout out the window" d'ya want a picture?!"

BlueBelle Tue 07-Dec-21 16:07:01

Goodness this is really overegging it the lady in question doesn’t even have any ptoof the man was looking at her perhaps he genuinely was bird watching or trying out new binoculars How awful for him if he’s totally innocent to be accused or questioned by the police

wonderbra where the heck did you get that from there Iis NOTHING inthe post about being naked For heavens sake talk about starting rumours off

SpringyChicken Tue 07-Dec-21 15:47:25

I knew someone who went to court to give evidence against a neighbour who exposed himself to her from his own home. Her kitchen window was opposite his patio door. He was convicted of indecency. After that, a police car would sometimes turn up and he would be taken down to the station to be questioned/eliminated from enquiries about other cases.
In your daughter’s shoes, I would report his actions It might be that no action will be taken at this stage but isn’t that for the police to decide?

Dabi Tue 07-Dec-21 15:44:20

In a too-much-sharing situation. I just positioned a small lens at angle of the their window, not directly but enough to be seen. No probs after that, they adjusted their blinds. grin

coastalgran Tue 07-Dec-21 15:29:07

I have a neighbour who uses his binoculars to be a nosey neighbour, being near the river Forth he often studies the oil rigs and boats in the river but then trains his gaze on the neighbours. We all know what he does and think he is a bit pathetic. He isn't breaking the law of the land, just breaching social acceptability. Now if he was to put up a CCTV camera trained on neighbouring properties then he is breaking the law.

Happysexagenarian Tue 07-Dec-21 15:13:53

A bit unsettling for your daughter, and a pity that she has to cover her windows to avoid it. Now that his view has been obstructed he probably won't do it again, but if he does your daughter could try photographing him each time as evidence if she wants to report it.

When we were first married the man opposite us (about 45-50) liked to stand naked at his open bedroom window and call out to attract anyone in the street, especially women and young girls. You can guess what he did! This happened almost every week, usually when the kids were walking home from school. The police said they'd have to 'catch him in the act', and of course they were never there. Several local Mums grouped together and waited for him to 'perform' and videoed him, he revelled in the attention. A few days later police removed him, he was away for months and then 'rehoused' elsewhere. His mother continued to live there for a few years until she died. She once said he was always a peculiar boy. For years afterwards that house was called 'the w---ers house' by the locals, a bit unfortunate for the subsequent occupiers!

Copes283 Tue 07-Dec-21 14:50:40

Just a general comment here. I'm just surprised at how few of you seem to talk to your neighbours!

Betty18 Tue 07-Dec-21 14:23:44

Friend of mine bought a film you put on the glass.it’s one way. She gets her gorgeous view from her bedroom window and the neighbours don’t get to see her in her pjs

BazingaGranny Tue 07-Dec-21 14:22:03

Some good ideas here. As regards not being overlooked by a neighbour, she might be able to have half blinds or put a piece of fake frosted glass (you can buy it on a roll in a DiY store) temporarily in just the bottom half or third of her window. This gives you maximum day light and sunlight whilst maintaining privacy, and may work at night depending on what she chooses.

We’ve done this in one room because we didn’t want our neighbours to inadvertently look in our upstairs spare room/study or for them to think we were staring at them! If your daughter sits in her room and sees exactly where through the window she is being overlooked, she can place the blind accordingly. Lots of ideas on Pinterest.

Hope it all gets resolved, she’s obviously worried.

WonderBra Tue 07-Dec-21 13:39:19

Not sure if I misread this, but if he's also been reported or observed by neighbours standing naked at his window, then I'd definitely be a bit worried - it's neither harmless nor acceptable behaviour.
I'd definitely speak to community police, as often indecent exposure and voyeurism is the fore-runner to worse offenses.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 07-Dec-21 13:28:03

Yes, the daughter would soon be getting a visit from the police.

MissAdventure Tue 07-Dec-21 13:16:48

That would be illegal.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 07-Dec-21 13:16:14

Are you suggesting training a camera on his window Brownowl?!