YankeeGran
DiscoDancer1975 - you sound like a younger generation and more switched on to current attitudes to parenting. Everything seems to be up for negotiation - none of that "Because I said so" or "Because I'm your mother/father" these days. But the result is as we see. And when I let Jack know, in no uncertain terms, that I did not find his cheekiness acceptable, I have never had it since...so apparently no irreparable harm was done. That said, I think it is hard for my DS/DIL to reverse patterns set over years. Nevertheless, and although my son has not asked for advice, I think the fact that he has mentioned his concerns several times means he IS looking for a better way to handle things and just walking away (and curtailing use of the phone and/or hitting him in the pocket could be effective too) might be called for. No audience, no rude behaviour, right!?
Yes...that’s the sort of parenting I had, and it worked!
I watch my children now, having to be so careful what they do all the time, especially around discipline. I did smack my my children, but it was rare, and as a last resort. They don’t remember the smacks as much as the threat of one. The ‘death’ stare was enough!
Mostly, I was able to be firm, and that was all that was needed. I feel with one of my sons and his wife...they’re almost asking the children if it’s alright to tell them off!!
The result? Children are calling the shots, and they’re not very good at it.
I always say to my children, ‘ your children are behaving normally, and pushing boundaries, but it’s also normal to be disciplined for it. It’s makes the difference between having a great life with your kids....or not’
My son and his wife could have a better one I’m sure.