Telling lies

Germanshepherdsmum

I’m going to be very sanctimonious and smug here (to quote from another thread). I really don’t know when I last told a lie. I don’t mean to be s&s but I just don’t tell lies. Tin hat on!

neither do I. I seem incapable of it and it often gets me into trouble!

I'd say I try not to lie, as such, but that I'm quite often economical with the truth.

So if a matter is being discussed, for example, and I know something that the other people either don't, or don't need to, I'm quite happy not to enlighten them.

If someone lied, i would straight away question what made them lie.

There are so, so many reasons, some deep rooted, so it really doesn't warrant a black and white answer.

That's my take on the matter

I hate lies as it betrays trust. Having said that I realise I tend to exaggerate a bit sometimes. So some would say that is equivalent to lying?
Sometimes when a person says “I’m just being honest” it can mean that they are being blunt and tactless rather than courteous and respectful which it is possible to be while being
truthful, imho.

M0nica

Is there anybody on GN who hasn't told a lie, or at least been economical with the truth, in at least the last week, if not this morning?

I have told one this morning, well manipulated the truth, to save DH's pride over a trivial matter.

Am I immediately going to be cancelled from GN and shunned by all decent people?

I'm a terrible liar!
And I don't let DH off the hook ?

I let a person I considered a close friend lie to me for years. I kept excusing her because she'd had a sh*t childhood (confirmed by her adopted sister). However I got twitchy when she began stealing from me, little things and odd things - a hanky here, knickers (!) there, the odd £5 note, etc.

The day she stole a monetarily valueless but very sentimental item I simply explained to her that she'd hurt me very badly and our friendship was over. Haven't seen or heard of her in the 35 years since then.

Self delusion is a wonderful attribute.

I can't think of when I've needed to tell a lie.

Not at all MOnica I think we have all told a lie ( apart from GSM ) to save hurting someone or to make life easier. As others have said it depends on the circumstances and intent really.

I’m going to be very sanctimonious and smug here (to quote from another thread). I really don’t know when I last told a lie. I don’t mean to be s&s but I just don’t tell lies. Tin hat on!

Once!

Is there anybody on GN who hasn't told a lie, or at least been economical with the truth, in at least the last week, if not this morning?

I have told one this morning, well manipulated the truth, to save DH's pride over a trivial matter.

Am I immediately going to be cancelled from GN and shunned by all decent people?

You can’t lock your door on a liar, unlike a thief. Issa you need to expand more, it’s too simplistic I a question. There’s little white lies to avoid hurting someone’s feeling or there’s self delusion or out and out liars that manipulate a situation to get the best out of people and situations, these you avoid at all costs

We were at a dinner party once where a couple left almost immediately the meal had ended claiming the wife had developed a bad migraine and needed to get home. The hostess was very concerned about her. Husband and I felt dreadful because we had guessed that they wanted to go home to watch the Strictly final. They pulled a similar stunt on us a couple of years later and although we still see them we have never trusted them since.

As a child I was taught never to trust a proven liar. For me there is no friendship without trust. A trusted friend would become an acquaintance. Albeit over a period of time.
I really cannot abide liars.

timetogo2016 even it was just to say you looked nice in a dress, when you didn't?

It depends on the friend, the lie, the reason why they lie, if it's harmful or not; lots of things to take into account.
Really though, as long as it did no harm, I might excuse them.

I`m with Shinamae 100 %.

Why exactly do you ask? What’s behind your question?

My friends know me and they wouldn't be my friends if they didn't. Equally I know them they are as honest and in your face as I am does that answer the question?

I think it would depend on the nature of the lie.

If she told me that I looked great in a dress I was wearing at the time, when I really didn't, for instance, I would be grateful, as there's not much point in telling me I look hideous when I can't go upstairs to change. The same with a new sofa that was bought and delivered.

If she told me she was cancelling a night out because she was ill, but then went out with a different friend (or something similar), which was deceitful as well as untruthful, however, I would call her out immediately I found out.

It depends

I don't like lying and I don't do it but some people have trauma or low self esteem and li about things that don't really matter to me their lives seem normal or more interesting so I just let that go.

Lying about things that do matter and that damage others or the way people view others is not acceptable and I would call it out

the question sounds simplistic.
could you give more detail of what's bugging you ?

Think it depends what they're lying. I have a friend with health anxiety and she's been known to lie about her health. We ignore the lies.

Another friend is self deceiving at times. It would be unkind to be blunt about it.

Once!