Gransnet forums


Feeling let down

(15 Posts)
flamenco Fri 11-Mar-22 08:50:32

I lost my partner after twelve years together, he had lymphoma. We lived between Spain and U.K. I always contributed to the bills etc. He left both houses to his daughters, after a year I have to leave. His daughters who I got on with refused to give me another year and are very unfriendly. So hurtful I feel very let down. I am not asking for anything for free

Pantglas2 Fri 11-Mar-22 08:52:31

Sad news flamenco - were you aware that this would happen before he died?

Grandmabatty Fri 11-Mar-22 08:52:43

You have posted this before. It is unfortunate that you and your late partner didn't consider what would happen to you if he died. I am sorry for the predicament you find yourself in.

JaneJudge Fri 11-Mar-22 08:54:24

I'm sorry you have lost your partner flowers Have you got a plan moving forward? I think as well as dealing with your own emotions you need to take practical steps to find housing? Is this something you have done?

Grandmabatty Fri 11-Mar-22 08:55:22

However, by the sounds of it, you have already had a year to make plans. Why have you not? If the houses were in your partner's name, what provision did you make for your future?

Shandy57 Fri 11-Mar-22 09:07:35

I am so sorry to read this flamenco. I hope you have someone to support you during your grief.

It is closed at the moment but I recommend joining the WAY UP site, the only website I know of for widows. You will find kindness and support from other widows there.

BigBertha1 Fri 11-Mar-22 09:18:10

Almost exactly the same thing happened to my friend who married a Spanish man. It is several years ago now and she has managed to make a new life and has a new man friend in England. She says its no good going over what she should have done re any inheritance she felt was her due she is just enjoying life now. I hope that you too will make a new life Flamenco and be ale to look back at the good times you had with your partner.

Redhead56 Fri 11-Mar-22 09:28:56

I remember your last post about this situation I am very sorry about your loss. It’s a difficult situation you are in but you must have known this when you was with your partner.
I don’t know rights for a live in partner as I’m not sure if you were married. Have you looked into this especially if you contributed to the bills etc. You could seek legal advice and you do need to move on to the next stage of your life and secure somewhere to live. Seek advice from someone in the know who will clarify your rights for you.

JaneJudge Fri 11-Mar-22 09:43:29

If you don't mind me asking Shandy, why is the WAYUP site closed?

notgran Fri 11-Mar-22 12:45:17

I would hope that you did contribute to the bills etc. No matter what your circumstances you would have been required to do this. Did you actually pay for the purchases of the houses and if so have you the proof that you did? If not then as your partner didn't die suddenly, I am surprised neither of you discussed what your standing would be as the prognosis of that type of cancer is not good. It seems you have no choice but to leave the home and find another place, this time making sure you know where you stand, lesson learned. Very sad but being a partner, unless wills are made accordingly, does not mean you are entitled to anything of his.

Hithere Fri 11-Mar-22 15:18:32

His family has been more than generous, it is not reasonable for you to rely on them.

Your partner should have made arrangements for you. He dropped the ball.

notgran Fri 11-Mar-22 18:03:45


His family has been more than generous, it is not reasonable for you to rely on them.

Your partner should have made arrangements for you. He dropped the ball.

The previous post by flamenco, seems to add another dimension to her story. I can understand his children would want their assets to be realised asap and really she needs to draw a line under it all and start her new life with the money that has been left to her by her partner. I'm assuming flamenco you have no family of your own which in lots of ways makes your decisions for the future much easier. Good Luck.

grannysyb Fri 11-Mar-22 18:22:28

Am I right in thinking that you are obliged in Spain to leave your property to family members?

Shandy57 Fri 11-Mar-22 18:54:22

My friend has lived with her partner for twenty years and knows that he hasn't made any provision for her in his will. Apparently he cannot even leave her his pension. She owns the house they live in, and at 65 is still working. Like me, she is a waiting WASPI.

@JaneJudge I should have said WAY UP is closed to new members for the moment. It is a very small charity and they are catching up on admin.

Knittingnovice Fri 11-Mar-22 19:52:48

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Losing your partner of 12 years must be so hard and dealing with this on top must be devastating.