Where have all the dads gone?

I think the number of women who set out to be single parents is very small. And easy for those who have remained married for their entire lives to sit in judgement.

No one ever sees benefits as a 'lifestyle choice'. Possibly 20 or 30 years ago (I don't know and really can't comment on the past) but living on Universal Credit means living below the poverty line. Not what anyone would consider a 'lifestyle choice'.

So judgemental.

Urmstongran

Goodness, you’re brave Lizbethann. When we watch the news Himself often says “right, but where’s the dad? Or at least the financial support?” I tell him it’s a lifestyle choice for some and the taxpayers are “dad”.

Yes, we say the same when we see desperate mothers worrying about how to feed their families.

They can't all have used sperm donors.

My friend sent the CSA proof of her ex husbands yacht moored at huge cost in Spain.
CSA disagreed,claimed he was on the bread line and refused to investigate, they settled eventually at him paying £60 a month for his 2 children.
He had a yacht in Spain a home he shared in the north with his partner and a rented flat in London.

My friend worked her socks off and was subsidised by her parents.

DD2's ex pays minimum through CSA maybe every 4 months - owes hundreds. They can't find him? he is on benefits so meant to be able to take it at source. He is "too good" to work in supermarket, labourer so doesn't work! We help her with food and expenses. She pays mortgage, childcare, his debts - almost paid off through CAP - was over £10,000. He owes us too at least £2000. Now he is getting legal aid for contact and she has to pay out nurse's wage - b....y joke! Now he is having contact and the lies already started - learned to drive not, partner rushed to hospital (mug if she is with him), can't come to this contact flat tire oh really! Trouble is now DGS2 is 4 and suffers where he didn't realise d...y was meant to come when he was a baby. We all wish he was gone!

My husband bogged off with another woman when my youngest was a small baby.

GagaJo

When I got divorced, what was then the CSA, claimed not to be able to find my ex husband. He was still living in the marital home.

CSA told me that now he had a new family, he couldn't afford to pay for his first family.

My good friend works with single mothers, sadly many are from single parent homes, the pattern continues. Many young girls still see male attention as ‘love’ they feel needed, a baby then fulfils that need when the father abandons them.
My paragraph above is very simplistic and answering the OP is more complicated with many nuances.

Goodness, you’re brave Lizbethann. When we watch the news Himself often says “right, but where’s the dad? Or at least the financial support?” I tell him it’s a lifestyle choice for some and the taxpayers are “dad”.

GagaJo

When I got divorced, what was then the CSA, claimed not to be able to find my ex husband. He was still living in the marital home.

Totally agree Gagajo DD is going through this at rhe moment, apparently he is the invisible man

When I got divorced, what was then the CSA, claimed not to be able to find my ex husband. He was still living in the marital home.

Yes, so often you see single mums with very young babies featured. I’m like the OP, where is the dad, he must have been on the scene not too long ago.

the government haven't made it very easy to claim child maintenance from fathers recently, well for many years nor cn people get legal aid very easily either. The last decade has been an attack on the poor and unfortunately poor women and then the disabled are on the bottom pile