Silly, but really getting to me, advice please

Give her a list of obscure items (and their preferred brand for you ) and ask her to do some 'research' for you at her favoured shop.

My list would include various hard to find spices, dried beluga lentils, free range ( really free range ) duck legs/breasts, actual pomegranate juice, loose leaf English Breakfast tea, etc.

Pukka - tell your mil fairly and squarely that price isn't your top priority when it comes to food and that it's quality that counts, and quality isn't just about the food that ends up on the shelves of the supermarket but about how it gets there. Some supermarkets - not long-standing UK supermarkets - have set up here and definitely undercut our traditional ones but their records on modern slavery, animal husbandry, and environmental pollution are dreadful. Let your mil know that your conscience extends beyond knowing that you've kept your outlay to a minimum.

It is Aldi and Lidl….( well maybe one more than the other, I can’t remember which lol ) I know many foody friends that have many great finds at these stores, I have no problem with them in the slightest, I’m sure there is good and bad there like all other places, it’s trial and error, just never been on my radar… maybe I am missing out, we are not massively well off, but not on the bread line either, but find it fine where we shop, just busy and don’t have the time or interest to check them out at the moment……

Loving all these suggestions and so glad to hear I don’t seem to be the only one!
And very interested to hear about the price comparisons, unexpected results!
I think I’ll just need to play it down as much as poss, and not let it get to me, I had just had another comment at the time that had pushed me over the edge…. Better to rant here than cause unnecessary family friction!

I dont drive, so I’m restricted to large Sainsburys or tiny Tesco ….im happy with either. I won’t go out of my way to save a few pence. Life’s too short and i have a stack of books waiting to be read.

I wonder if you have ever mentioned you are short of money , in which case she is trying to help by telling you about the cheaper supermarket.
The obvious ones here in the uk woukd be Aldi and Lidl. I like Aldi as it’s nearest to us and use it regularly and yes it does save me quite a lot of money and generally the quality is very good. The wine is good too.

MeowWow

Well, I like them all! (not Morrisons particularly but we don't have one nearby.)

It depends what you choose and I'm lucky enough to be able to be choosy.
Lidl chocolate is better than most other makes.
Welsh yogurt from Aldi is lovely
Etc etc.

Some people don't have that choice.

I've got the idea it could be in The States
gotten gives a clue but I could be wrong.
Now I'm curious about American supermarkets, I've only heard of Walmart.

Anybody else curious as to which shop the OPs mother in law is banging on about?

Pukka, which shop is it?

I regularly shop in Tesco, Sainsbury and Asda. There are products which are always cheaper in each of them and then there are the special offers. I occasionally go to Lidl but only if I'm in that part of town for some other reason. It doesn't have everything I need for a regular shop but worth a look every now and again. Asda is one of my regular 3 but I mostly go there when my car needs diesel as their fuel prices are a lot lower, but the store is less pleasant to shop in even if the prices are lower. I try not to go when it is busy as I feel their mitigations against covid were less good than the others. The nearest Waitrose in in the next town so if I'm there for some reason I pop in for the items only they sell and bulk buy if they are not perishable.

I'm lucky to have the time to shop around and try to plan my shopping around other trips out so as not to waste fuel. It works for me, but if you prefer to shop in your favourite supermarket don't be pressured to go elsewhere. You can shop as suits you. I only tell people about bargains if it is a huge saving - the small savings are not worth it if you don't have the time or just prefer to shop in one place.

I see that Aldi is now doing online click and collect for groceries. They will charge £5. Good idea for me 'cos I hate tramping round large superstores - you can even send your OH to collect.

We have a cheaper supermarket locally but the reasons I don’t shop there is because the store looks dingy and they don’t always have what I want. I once bought some rapeseed oil from the cheaper supermarket and the smell when I used it was awful. It was also a lot darker in colour than the more expensive one at the other supermarket. I wondered if that meant the cheaper one hadn’t been filtered as much? You always get what you pay for and I prefer not to shop at cheaper supermarkets.

Lots of good advice, but best not to antagonise if possible, just shrug it off.
My mum was an expert at shopping around. One Easter I went down to help them as Dad was not well enough to drive. She had me going to several shops and supermarkets for a not very long list of items, which I would just have bought from one place, especially just before a Bank Holiday weekend. I was not best pleased.

Can you just say in a pleasant, good natured way something like, 'yes, you keep telling me that but I prefer to shop where I shop and don't want to change'.

“ Sometimes, being with you feels like Groundhog Day”. Or words to that effect.

May I thank Lidl’s and Aldi for making sure my great grandchildren have such a selection of breakfast cereals to choose from each morning. Also for all the fruit they have. Even M&S lovers can’t say that their fruit is of better quality just because it costs more. Oh, sorry, of course they do.

"Yes, but then I'd have to go there, wouldn't I, unless you can pick them up for me, please. But I'll keep my usual shop anyway, because yours does not have everything I need."

Stop discussing shopping with her.

If she brings it up, either say, "Yes, I know you like that supermarket, but I dislike it." or if applicable, "but it takes me so long to get there that the lower prices are cancelled out by the amount of petrol I use / my bus fare".

If this is the only topic you disagree about, it must be possible to find other things to talk about.

To continually shop for the cheapest can be time-consuming and not everybody can be bothered - even when strapped for cash. Surely it is better to shop where you want and look for bargains?

Pukka I'm so sorry for you -it's classic thoroughly interfering MIL behaviour !
It should be a thing of the past !
I make it a rule to say absolutely nothing no matter what I think .

I wonder if it's done of it is caused by jealousy-you've taken her son away from her !

It's usually about over spending ( in her eyes )if it's not about food, it's the clothes and toys that you buy for your children (and the way that they behave) or your clothes and or the house is too clean or dirty !
And it's hard to stand your ground ,because you don't want to start a row .

Maybe her memory isn't great and any rate she's fixated on things .

Some gransnetters have suggested asking her to get the products herself-great idea !

Maybe if you serve your husband the food that she's bought when she's eating with you and he says, where did you buy this. I can't eat it .It's rubbish !!!
She'll get the message !
Good luck .

My MIL, a bit of a social snob, would only buy at Waitrose. Being Northern I love a bargain, was brought up to be canny with money and preferred the local Aldi. Occasionally
she would ask me to pick up some fruit and veg which obviously came from Aldi. She was always impressed at the good quality and how much cheaper it was. I could never get her to actually go through the door but if I’d cooked the meal and she enjoyed it I always replied that it was “Aldi’s best”.

I now don’t have an Aldi but am learning to appreciate Lidl, and I love a mooch down the centre aisles. But I must say that since the lockdowns, Brexit etc etc they are having trouble getting products and some shelves are almost empty.

I can’t go in the local Tesco, the lighting is appalling and gives me a headache, plus it’s got a strange atmosphere.

I really miss the local greengrocers of the past - if I only wanted a pound of potatoes that’s what I could buy. (no farm shop nearby). Those were the days of not bulk buying and not having a car for transport - how much time was spent in going to the shops several times a week.

O no I’ve gone all nostalgic!

A nice glass of Chateau White Wine Vinegar.. pour it into the glass, hold it up to the light and say..

This is your supermarkets finest.. their best selling plonk!’ ?????

I doubt if you are the only one that is being given this pearl of wisdom !
You don't need to reply when she says anything along these lines and hopefully she will get bored of her new "religion"!
I can remember an ex boyfriend coming out with " I had one of those but the wheels fell off !" , "You could have bought a new one for that" or "It will be nice when it's finished" for similar situations when someone was trying to be clever!

I know exactly what you mean! I have a friend who is forever telling me I should shop where she shops - much cheaper! But it's the opposite end of town and the extra cost of petrol would use up any savings! How about that for a reply? (I've only just thought if it myself - I must use it next time!!)

I would develop an elephant skin and let it go over my head and also a possible answer is whatever I would save I would end up paying in Petrol and parking and also time.