Gransnet forums


Silly, but really getting to me, advice please

(97 Posts)
Pukka Mon 04-Apr-22 18:56:07

This seems really minor, but I’m finding this really irritating!
My Mother in law keeps going on about a certain low price super market, I don’t happen to shop there, no real reason, just have my own preferences. But at every opportunity she says “oh you’d get that there so much cheaper” “ that’s what shopping in does xy or z is sooo much cheaper” I know it’s really petty but it is really starting to grind me down! I have said before I am happy where I shop, happy for her to shop where she likes, why the need to keep on going on about it!! Even in the middle of family get togethers I’m guaranteed at least one barbed comment …… what would you do or say, without causing ww3!!

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 04-Apr-22 18:58:32

Tell her you went there and they didn’t stock the brands you buy. She will never know.

Mind you, you might find that it’s much cheaper and you enjoy actually going in there.

FannyCornforth Mon 04-Apr-22 18:58:50

Ignore her

Audi10 Mon 04-Apr-22 18:59:53

It wouldn’t really bother me , I’d just say each to their own mum!

Harris27 Mon 04-Apr-22 19:00:11

Well it’s the same at work we always say ‘ you’d get that cheaper at A’ she probably doesn’t see that it upsets you she’s probably passionate about the store don’t take it personally. Just smile and say ‘ oh really’

Grandmabatty Mon 04-Apr-22 19:01:44

"That's interesting, mother in law." And turn away and talk to someone else. Don't give her anything to hang on to.

Shandy57 Mon 04-Apr-22 19:02:44

When you aren't working and not much is happening in your life, being 'helpful' is something I find myself doing too, it makes me feel I am making a contribution to that person's life. Could you go just once, to please her?

Blossoming Mon 04-Apr-22 19:07:47

Give her a shopping list and ask her to drop them off for you.

BlueBelle Mon 04-Apr-22 19:08:45

Ignore or say thanks for the tip but don’t get hooked upon it

Pukka Mon 04-Apr-22 19:13:05

It’s just not on my radar! I have never gotten into shopping there! Hubby doesn’t fancy it either…
shandy57 your right I think that she is trying to be helpful, and I maybe shouldn’t let it get to me… just wondered if someone had any better replies to get her off my case lol, I just say oh yes and make the right noises, but recently it’s almost every conversation it seems!

CanadianGran Mon 04-Apr-22 19:13:06

You could say that the customer service, cleanliness and convenience is much better at your store, and leave her to it.

I know my sister is always going on about food price comparison, but we don't live it the same town, so I nod and agree. I'm not going to drive to three different stores to save money, when my time is valuable as well.

Casdon Mon 04-Apr-22 19:15:08

The issue I find with the low price supermarkets is that they don’t stock everything I need or want. Working people don’t have time to trawl round more than one shop, so I’d tell her that you can’t get (eg the right washing powder, dog food, they don’t stock light bulbs, etc.) and prefer to go to one shop for everything, even though some things cost more.

Hithere Mon 04-Apr-22 19:26:20

Maybe she has a memory problem and she doesn't remember her mentioning all the time?

Other repetitive comments or behaviour she exhibits?

If she remembers and she just wants to make you go there and she cannot take a no for an answer - "mil, I have already answered this question many times, please stop asking"
If still continues- change the subject or even limit the contact with her

Serendipity22 Mon 04-Apr-22 19:27:54

Maybe she so pleased to have found this gem that she wants to share it with you.....

If that were me, i would make it a mission to go to this gem of a shop so i could honestly say the next time it was brought into conversation, that I had been and didn't care much for the goods on the shelves.

That might put an end to the constant name dropping of this gem. IF that still didnt do the trick ..... i would take things a step further and tell dear MIL to SHUT UP ...... hahahaha.....

lixy Mon 04-Apr-22 19:46:47

It sounds like a little thing but you are sensitised to it, so the store's name hits your eardrum at 120 decibels. Try to lower the impact with a stock reply as suggested by others - eg I can't get everything I need there... - so you don't have to think about you are going to say. It works like a plaster over a blister.

serendipity22 IF that still didnt do the trick ..... i would take things a step further and tell dear MIL to SHUT UP ...... hahahaha.....

Oh dear.

PECS Mon 04-Apr-22 19:47:38

Do you feel she is being critical of your spending? Is she worried you won't be able to afford other things or is she just someone who has always had to be thrifty & it has become an ingrained habit and she can't understand why someone would not want to 'save' whenever they could?

I have a friend who has always had to watch her spending and really finds it difficult to go to one cafe in town rather than the cheaper one even though she can now afford the 'extra' cost.
in your shoes I might say something like 'when I am saving up for something I will try xx supermarket, thanks for heads up"

Ilovecheese Mon 04-Apr-22 19:49:55

I know exactly what you mean Pukka A relative of mine is similar and it feels as if they are treating me like a child who doesn't know how to manage money.

nadateturbe Mon 04-Apr-22 19:56:57

Next time she says it, ask her to buy the item for you when she is next shopping and you'll reimburse her.

M0nica Mon 04-Apr-22 19:58:02

I have a friend who shops the low price supermarkets, and to be honest, although she is an excellent cook, since she started shopping there, I have yet to have a meal with her that I have enjoyed.

We stayed over and had a meal a few weeks ago. The chicken in the casserole was as white as milk and totally devoid of flavour. Thankfully pudding was apple crumble with custard made from Birds custard powder.

MawtheMerrier Mon 04-Apr-22 19:59:56

That might put an end to the constant name dropping of this gem. IF that still didnt do the trick ..... i would take things a step further and tell dear MIL to SHUT UP ...... hahahaha ....

Good grief hmm

BlueBelle Mon 04-Apr-22 20:01:03

…but we all love Lldl and Aldi don’t we ? I do

Callistemon21 Mon 04-Apr-22 20:04:17


Give her a shopping list and ask her to drop them off for you.


M0nica I remember advising a relative who was staying in a cottage a few miles from here that there was a Waitrose and a Lidl in the nearest town. She said that her DH would never eat anything from Lidl.
Some of the vegetables they were eating at the time at our house were from Lidl. I didn't like to say - they did say how lovely the meal was 😂
It's the way I cook them!

Callistemon21 Mon 04-Apr-22 20:07:32

I have never gotten into shopping there
Pukka is this some American cheapie store that we here in the UK know nothing about.

Personally, I shop at Lidl, Aldi, Tesco, Waitrose, Sainsburys, the farm shop - whichever I'm near at the time.

Pukka Mon 04-Apr-22 20:07:39

Thank you all, that’s given me some ideas to work with, and feel better for getting it off my chest, it’s really winding me up. As minor as it is really! And to hear I’m not the only one who gets this!

nandad Mon 04-Apr-22 20:10:01

Just say ‘I’ll have to go there next time’, say it with a smile and repeat every time.
Or, go to said supermarket and buy a couple of products that have obviously come from there, leave them out every time she comes round. Then let her think you shop there regularly!