First Love

the best place in order to keep it as confidential

I’m afraid you haven’t picked the best place. This is a public forum and can be read by anyone, things can even find their way into newspapers.

Is your DH still carrying on his dalliance with his best friend’s wife? Maybe that’s making you feel unloved and unwanted. I think you should forget about past loves and sort out your relationship with your DH first.

Have I missed something? Where did the OP say about DH having a dalliance with best friend’s wife, or is this another story?

He became an X for a reason,leave well alone if i were you.

It seems to me you are in love with a memory not a person. Is your marriage happy?
Your ex love will have changed after 50 years and your idea of him will be different to reality.
It may be better to concentrate on your own DH. If you are dissatisfied with your marriage make changes and put this old love out of your mind.

Do absolutely nothing about it. it can only end in tears.

When I found myself in a similar situation. Once I knew my ex was married and a GP in a part of the country I was never likely to go to. I left it there and firmly got on with my life, including a happy and successful marriage.

Forty five years later I did have to visit that town so googled him and found nothing. A few years later I googled his name one evening, for no discernable reason and the top item on page 1 was his obituary. He had died quite recently. His career had been cut short by a progressive illness, but he too had clearly had a happy and successful marriage and his obit suggested that to the end he remained the person I had known and loved.

I was deeply grieved for some time, but I am absolutely sure that my decision to leave the past in the past, was the right decision.

You should do the same.

Blossoming

^the best place in order to keep it as confidential^

I’m afraid you haven’t picked the best place. This is a public forum and can be read by anyone, things can even find their way into newspapers.

I was thinking that you might as well stand on the roof with a loud hailer

Not you Blossoming ?
I mean I agree with you!

Keep it as a secret fantasy and leave it there.

An ex of mine is slightly well know in films and tv series ( not as an actor, though) and I have to admit to having a sneaky Google of what he’s up to. He’s led a quite fascinating life since we split up. I was there for him when he was at a low point in his life and he was then horrible to me. The internet is a strange time machine of a place. It’s also made me very aware of what an advantage in life it is if you have connections in the right place.

Calendargirl
The OP has posted about her suspicions Re her husband and best friends wife.

Blossoming
Yes, my DH and I have sorted things out re his best friends and that is not the reason I googled etc. Happily married at the moment and hope it stays that way. I would also, as I said, never ever contact the ex or even try to AGAA4 as he has moved on and will no doubt have had a long marriage and have children and grandchildren.
M0nica - I liked your story but agree with you to leave sleeping dogs to lie.
timetogo2016 - yes he became an ex for a reason and the reason was that my parents tried their utmost to keep us apart as they thought he was too old for me, he wasn’t, and that we lived too far away from each other.

Thank you for replying everyone. I suppose I knew you would all speak sense and confirm to me that I should keep it in the past and forget it. Although I wasn’t going to act on my stirred up old feelings confirmation from you all has indeed helped, especially the personal similar stories.

Calendargirl

Have I missed something? Where did the OP say about DH having a dalliance with best friend’s wife, or is this another story?

The OP has posted several times about problems with her DH disrespecting her in various ways. The dalliance with the best friends wife is only one of them. I would have dumped him by now!

The persom you met decades ago may be the person he is now.

You need to let go of this, you have happy memories of a time you can’t possibly go back to, I guess all of us have a special feeling for our very first love, for me , we were separated by his family who didn’t really want him going out with a secondary modern girl.
I remember him as kind and gentle, very sweet and very nice looking. I loved him a lot, and was devastated when he was moved away.
Several years later, I met him in a pub, we were both with different people, I felt like crying because I realised we were both different people, and didn’t have anything to say, I felt really sad.

May not be the person he is now... ate the not on my post before

I think the main reason you are playing this dangerous game with you romance from the past is because of the unsatisfactory nature of your current marriage.

But chasing after lost loves will only make things worse. Deal with the real and present problem in your life and leave the past behind you. It will only make life worse not better.