Insulted by only and oldest friend, what to do?

Can you give some context to help me figure out what's going on here? Were you singing in a choir or performing in a musical or did you just get up during a pub karaoke session and belt out a classic? I sing in a choir and I'm not the greatest singer, but no one would be able to separate my voice out from the others. So I'm wondering what was going on.

My first thought is that if this behaviour is so out of character she may be unwell. Could it be a urinary infection or the loss of inhibition caused by dementia or some other neurological condition? Can you have a quiet word with her husband and ask him if he can shed any light?

Otherwise I suppose there's the possibility that she had a sudden fit of jealousy, seeing you performing and happy with your new husband, and couldn't stop herself from behaving hurtfully. In which case I would want to ask her whether she's okay, because usually only people who are very unhappy behave like this.

Grannynannywanny

If her inappropriate behaviour is new and completely out of character it would make me consider if she has an underlying problem. The onset of some types of dementia can result in loss of inhibitions, making inappropriate comments etc.

Yes could be that.

Grannynannywanny

If her inappropriate behaviour is new and completely out of character it would make me consider if she has an underlying problem. The onset of some types of dementia can result in loss of inhibitions, making inappropriate comments etc.

That was my first thought too.

Are there any groups where you live that you can join and so gain some friends? As another person has said here hopefully you can find some people with your singing and dancing. Don't let this 'friend' stop you singing: I know the huge benefit that singing can give you and you need that and you enjoy singing. Keep that enjoyment and take your power back from this woman, don't let her destroy what you enjoy.

How rude and mean about your singing - and top of that, hitting on your husband. ?- she belongs in the dust bin !

If her inappropriate behaviour is new and completely out of character it would make me consider if she has an underlying problem. The onset of some types of dementia can result in loss of inhibitions, making inappropriate comments etc.

Let her go and do carry on singing.
Don’t let her unwelcome remarks stop you doing something you enjoy.

My initial reaction is that you do not need this person in your life - not only has she knocked your confidence as regards your singing, she has made approaches to your husband which has made him feel uncomfortable and when he is on his own. If these comments had been made when you're all together then it might be classed as banter, but not when she has done it when he's on his own. That strikes me as sinister and planned.
Then I see that she is your only friend and that you've known her a long time - but I still feel that you don't need this sort of behaviour from a 'friend'. I feel that if you say anything to her about her comments to your husband she will come back with excuses and saying things like 'can't you take a joke?) I think the friendship might survive if you don't have them to stay with you again or staying at their house - no way do you want situations when she can get your husband alone again. What does he think about all this?

PrettyNancy, I meant to add; she sounds jealous of you too.

I agree with carenza123 it’s time to let this friendship go.she’s obviously envious of your new life and I can bet your singing was lovely and she has just said this to upset you. Some friendships just run their time and I think this one has. Good luck with the future.

She’s no friend if she insults you in this way. As for singling your husband out, again what good friend would do this.

Let her go immediately!

No, if she really WAS a good friend of many years - then she has crossed the boundaries of friendship, she has been rude and puts you down regarding your singing and to top it off has disrespected you by making unwelcome suggestions to your husband. People change and I am afraid it’s time to let the friendship go. I am sure you can find new genuine friends who value your friendship through your singing and dancing.