Finding a decent man on Online dating over 50

I’ve met a few online and not one of them as worked out. Last one was near 3yrs got engaged to him then I received a message from this other woman asking why I was seeing her bf and I said I was with him for nearly 3yrs she apologised she was with him less had photos etc so I confronted him he said he couldn’t help it love me bla bla after I dumped him I put up a post and turned out he had a few of us. I’ve seen them stopped using online dating lol but I know one of my daughter inlaw dad met someone on over 50s and they doing well but for me I’ve given up lol

I met my second husband online 15 years ago , we were both in our early 40's. My advice is , Know what you want and what you don't, don't reply to anything weird or a dick pic. Take your time to get to know someone, meet for coffee etc before you decide to go on a proper date . It can be fun

Not sure, I am so so lucky to be with the same man for the past 53 years, especially as he was not expected to live beyond 55. 22 years bonus so far and going strong.

But I do believe that if ever I wanted to meet a man, I would not use the internet- but get more active in groups of people who share my love of nature, flora, fauna, walking, and culture- and go on single holidays linked to the above... and see.

My dad is in a care home after the death of his wife (step mother) last year. He's already been caught in bed with one woman. Not that he's any kind of catch. She must have wanted her head testing!

I live in an over 60s retirement apartment with my husband we have had one wedding here and a new romance after a new lady moved in, although I don't think they are moving in together. It's all happening here 😊

Great response to that guy, Gagajo! I’m sure there are good men out there, but all too often those that crop up on dating sites aren’t looking for a woman who’ll be their equal. I don’t think it occurs to them to wonder what we women might want from a relationship.

A friend of my Mother-in-law met a man later in life. She tried the regular dating sites and said she met a lot of unsuitable men over some years who did not really want an "equal relationship".

She is bright and witty and eventually concluded that she would be better on a mature professionals site where people might be taking the search more seriously (and not be married or have debts etc). As she said the fees were very high and deterred time-wasters.

She liked that site as they didn't have any "no hopers" to wade through either and the men were well travelled, well mannered and generally comfortable in their own skin. She met the most lovely man and they are a great couple still, many years later.

She said to me "at my age I had no time to waste and don't want to be alone forever".

Good luck coastalgran.

If you walk around your local shopping centre you’ll see all sorts of men, most of whom you probably wouldn’t want to get to know. A dating site is similar. Lots of men who, for all sorts of reasons, wouldn’t be suitable for you. There are some genuine men around but it takes time and effort to find one.

Startingover61

Most of the posts here are over a year old, but reading some of the earlier ones gave me a good laugh! My ex husband, who has recently divorced - his third time! - is now back on at least one dating site, I hear. Personally, I’m thankful for the freedom I’ve had since I divorced him 6 years ago. I have no intention of looking for another man to share my life with.

I was chatted up by a man old enough to be my grandfather last year in the local shops. His opening line was 'I'm looking for a dollybird.'

He was looking for a nurse, housekeeper and cook more like. No thanks.

My answer was, 'My name's not dolly.'

What do these men think is in it for us?

I agree with GagaJo and Stacey most men appear to be looking for much younger women.

Many years ago after my ex walked out I dipped my toe in the market but those I saw were really interested in my house and savings. I decided to stay on my own.

Most of the posts here are over a year old, but reading some of the earlier ones gave me a good laugh! My ex husband, who has recently divorced - his third time! - is now back on at least one dating site, I hear. Personally, I’m thankful for the freedom I’ve had since I divorced him 6 years ago. I have no intention of looking for another man to share my life with.

I met my second husband via an ad in a local paper. We have been married happily now for 18 years.

Reported as spam.

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That's a shame that there are no nice men!
I am not looking for one myself but I have heard that some of the more specialist sites work well.
Farmers looking for someone who would enjoy the rural life, for example. Apparently there are lots of lonely farmers.
countrypartners.co.uk/

Meetup interest groups sound like a better bet so that's my tuppence-worth. Good luck and don't give up but don't appear too keen either.

I’d been considering dipping a toe into online dating. However I’ve now started watching For Love Or Money on BBC iPlayer and it’s put me off.

That should have read....my ‘ex’husband. ?

I have found that the physically attractive, successful in the workplace and solvent men are generally after women much younger. The men who claim that they are not materialistic and look like they've just got out of bed, can’t be bothered to wash let alone shave, and for some reason don’t seem to realise how awful it looks when their profile picture shows urinals behind them, I generally find, have no job, no pulse, no house and can’t drive. I’ve managed to buy my own house, have a car, a good job and have no intention of ‘keeping’ a man, I’ve given birth to one and spent practically my whole life picking up after two men aka my son and husband and I’ve no intention of doing it again.
I can’t blame anyone but myself tho, as I had several opportunities years ago but chose to bring my son and daughter up and give my time to them. Sadly they have now flown the nest and I’m alone ☹️
I’d love to find a nice man but those that are nice and my age don’t even get to the dating sites, there are to many women queuing up for them ☹️ It’s definitely a mans world.

I did meet a millionaire. He didn’t ever say or try to give the impression he was wealthy but my son’s girlfriend who was concerned about my safety had a friend who knew his family.
Apparently I should have guessed as his car cost a lot over 100K but I know nothing about cars.
We went out about five times, he showed consideration and geared the outings to my interests taking me places I found fascinating but there was no spark. I didn’t long to see him again. He asked if I would be prepared to live in Italy as he was intending to move there. He was good looking charming and generous but really not my type.
Looking back there were red flags. He never tried to kiss me or hold me and it all made sense when I was told after I had stopped seeing him that he was thought to be gay.

Good for you!

Sassanach512

I'm intrigued by the C of S minister Esspee can you elaborate?

He was a CoS minister, married to a CoS minister but he couldn’t end the marriage as they had a Down’s Syndrome daughter. Instead he went onto OLD hoping to find a discreet partner.
I made a point of spending quite a long time corresponding with matches before meeting them so that I could weed out the unsuitable. In his case he told me he was a CoS minister and his situation was complex but he would tell me all when we met. I agreed to meet for a coffee at a local museum, probably because he was a minister, and when he revealed his situation I gave him such a dressing down he was speechless at first. I hope he did what I told him to do and remove himself from the site.
He was the only person I met who was objectionable. Everyone else I met was normal.

I tried one of the sites some years ago before I met my OH. One particular guy was so full of himself, talked garbage, bragged about his house (not particularly impressive from what I recall) flashed the cash (I wasn't impressed) had dreadful taste in clothes and was a complete twerp!
It put me off dating sites for good.

My experience of it is that the men want younger women. So if a bloke is 60, he wants a 45/50 year old. I'm not interested in men 15 years older than me, so it'd be a hard no from me these days.

When I did use OLD, I was 40 and the men I dated were approx. 10 years older than me. Quite a few nice guys. None were the right one.

You may meet a lot of frogs before you meet Prince Charming, check them out thoroughly, make sure their story adds up, so don’t commit until you are sure, good luck!.

I'm pleased that some people have met nice men through it - because I find the ones on the adverts somewhat creepy!