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Husband acting stupid with our adult sons

(37 Posts)
ElaineI Mon 06-Jun-22 13:34:17

Don't understand this thread. Seems to be 2 different things - husband quoting other people's opinions on what? And separately husband having banter with his sons. Both seem fair to me.

M0nica Mon 06-Jun-22 11:59:38

Can I turn this thread round and ask the OP what does she think her sons think of her? Do they buy into what is, no doubt, a carefully curated version of herself that she presents to them. or is their view of her, however much they love her, of how mum was always fussing around thinking about what other people were thinking of her and Dad - and was always wrong!

We cannot shape what out children think of us, they make their own decisions and the things they remember and treasure are highly unlikely to be the things that matter to us.

So relax and leave your DH to be himself with his sons - and everyone else and you should also be happy to be yourself and stop second guessing what ther people are thinking of you as well.

Elizabeth27 Mon 06-Jun-22 11:52:58

You cannot control others nor should you. Your husbands behaviour is not a reflection of you, leave him alone..

timetogo2016 Mon 06-Jun-22 11:29:17

I have told my sons all the daft things i got up to as a child,they thought it was hilarious and asked me to tell the grandchildren,and they loved it,i am hero acccording to my one Gc,he sits next to me and asks me to tell it again.

Caleo Mon 06-Jun-22 09:12:29

To tell how he did a stupid thing is useful for his son to know, as the story warns your son not to make a similar mistake. A father who pretends to be faultless will not be believed by children over a certain age. It takes moral courage to own up for the good of others.

Katie59 Mon 06-Jun-22 08:00:04

Dont worry about it as long as it’s not criminal behavior, my OH tells me tales of his younger days and the scrapes he got into, all believable because he’s pretty adventurous now (in a nice way).
It’s what men do!.

BlueBelle Mon 06-Jun-22 07:47:01

Perhaps your boys look up to their fathers honesty and not be embarrassed by the fact he acted stupidly in his young days didn’t we all ? perhaps they learn a lesson to accept your past and not be ashamed of it

I think you are in the wrong and be glad your husband and boys have a good relationship

denbylover Mon 06-Jun-22 07:39:08

He was possibly embarrassed at being pulled up, that was his retaliation line.

Baggs Mon 06-Jun-22 05:50:55

Opinions are formed by listening to or reading other people’s opinions. It’s natural to quote one’s sources, cultural even.

Honeysuckleberries Mon 06-Jun-22 00:40:28

I’m not surprised he told you to shut up. My husband and sons used to quote all sorts of silly things to each other, they knew all the die hard scripts and Simpson’s jokes. Men communicate in different ways to women but your husband and boys are communicating in their own way. It is not for you to police and judge that they are not doing it your way and for you to impose your ways on them.
If your husband didn’t have a good father then he is doing his best. You should be encouraging him not sneering at him. Why do you think he should be different to his father. It is not an automatic thing to be a perfect person if you have a crap example to follow.
It sounds to me like he has no self confidence and is therefore quoting other people who have said things he thought sounded good or funny to your sons.
It also sounds that you are teaching your sons to despise their father.
I hope that you can support him more and give him confidence and perhaps then he wouldn’t need to quote others.

BlueBelle Sun 05-Jun-22 21:44:52

Can’t imagine that would worry me too much if that’s all he dies wrong I bet the boys enjoyed hearing about their dads daft childhood
However I wouldn’t be told to shut up
But is it worth having a fight over ?

Florencerosie Sun 05-Jun-22 20:57:11

This probably sounds silly, but my husband is constantly quoting other peoples opinions to our sons. My ES says to him what is your opinion? Tonight he was telling them about when he was younger and his mates told him to do something stupid and he did.

I feel so annoyed. They want to look up to him, but how can they. He didn’t have a strong father figure so I thought he would be different. When I mentioned it to to him he just told me to shut up!