Am I antisocial or just weird?

Madwoman11 Welcome to the world of Weird-dom. I've live alone for 37 years and that's how I like it. Even when I was my beautiful mum's primary care-giver for 16 months over covid, I was uncomfortable living in her house. I know it's very selfish to suddenly have to live with someone else (and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way as she was my mum and I loved her) but it just felt peculiar to me. Even if I was to find the love of my life, he would have to live in his own home.

Hi MOnica, just seen your post from 9.34am… I am a big Dorothy Rowe fan, but I don’t remember reading The Successful Self. Will hunt it out - thank you.

kirkcubbin2000 why don’t you grasp the nettle and invite your neighbours round for a one off? You say you feel embarrassed at enjoying so much of their hospitality so a one off will cancel your debt as it were. After that, be pleasant but unable to make any more arrangements.
To me, visitors are like fish, after three days they stink (if not before).
Love my own company and through my life, books have probably been my closest friends (excluding family).
Now widowed, doubtful if I would live with anyone again apart from possibly DD and DS. I also taught music at home and no longer desire people tramping in and out.
The pain is sharp at the loss of a beloved, but the best thing is to become one’s own best friend.
Interesting about the telephone, hate it apart from just making arrangements and only face time close family.
My Bookgroup zoomed during lockdown but that wasn’t for me.

I enjoy going walking and golfing with friends, meeting up for coffees. But when it is time to go home on walking away and out of sight of everyone I get this feeling of calmness and utter enjoyment of going back home. Is this weird or what.

Interesting post Monica.

You are so right MOnica about being happy in your own skin, and spending time worrying about what others think of you is a fruitless exercise, they are mainly bound up in their own concerns.

*RoseeLee.My life changer was 'The Successful Self' by Dorothy Rowe, the only self-help book I have ever bought. Her defintions of introvert and extrovert and the range of both, was the sudden switching on of a light in a darkened room.

I have been considered 'odd' ever since I started school, by other children and by adults. I did make a few attempts to conform but gave up pretty soon. I was entirely happy in my self, and could see no point of making myself uncomfortable. It had its problems but I never lacked one close friend similar to myself, and a small outer ring of friends, who saw me as odd, but were prepared to tolerate me.

I know I am dyspraxic and have ADHD. As do DS and DGS and at school I was seen as very clever, but the very clever child always at the bottom of the class, mainly because my dyspraxia meant I had terrible writing,

Bit I have been fortunate in life. I have been very happily married to another oddity for over 50 years. DS and DGS are also doing well despite their problems DD and DGD seem to have survived unscathed.

It is always better to be happy with yourself than always worrying about what other people think of you. Generally they don't give you a thought

I think this continues into social media, I don`t do any social media and have been asked to do a skype call with a company in germany. The thought is giving me the heebie jeebies. It is like, leave me alone to my simple life

I’m not antisocial but would definitely slot into the weird category ?

I love socialising and I enjoy crowds but I still like to have a nice little solitary bolt hole where I can do exactly what I want when I want. I found it very hard when my husband retired at first and used to wander around shops on my own for p and q. Fine now, we both have our own interests and respect each other’s space.

I have lived alone for many years and would not change it for the world.
I have a lifelong friend who is married and she envies me making my own decisions without any dramas.
I have been on many holidays with other singles and on coach trips and always seem to end up on the naughty table having a a fantastic laugh but have never kept in touch.
I have never been good at socialising in the traditional sense and am happy just to see 2 very old friends and family.
If that's weird count me in.

Good question, MOnica…
I think this is more to do with how introverted/extroverted you are… I read Susan Cain’s book ‘Quiet’ in my 50’s and it was life-changing. I found my inner hermit!
Being retired gives a real freedom not to conform to society’s pressure to be extroverted. Madwoman11, please enjoy your space - you are neither antisocial or weird in my opinion!

Why do so many people think doing anything different to what they think other people are doing is cause for apology?

There is no such thing as a set of rules for our behaviour or anyone elses. be yourselves, do what you prefer and let the rest of the world go hang. Everyne else is as odd as you and has as many 'odd' behaviours as you have. Just different ones.

Well I hope I’m not anti-social but I might be verging on the unsociable.

Apart from my family I never enjoy large gatherings.
I’m much better with a small group, and in fact I positively relish having the house to myself when the opportunity arises.

I know what you mean Kircubbin. When you visit you are in control of how long the visit lasts.
I would need to have a contingency plan, in case they stay too long.
I hate chatting on the phone and rarely ring people apart from my children. I don't really care if it's odd. I text/email mostly. Sometimes I write letters, I love doing that.

I do enjoy chatting at my art groups.

I don't think there's a law against being odd or weird.

I feel embarrassed as I have not invited my 2 neighbours round for the afternoon. I have visited them 4 times and enjoyed the afternoon but I cannot bear the thought of them coming here! What if they sit on for hours, how do I get rid of them? I took a gift the last time and hope that makes up for it. I never phone anyone either, is that odd?

I feel the same Madwoman - my home is my sanctuary and while I love visitors I don't want to feel invaded and I certainly wouldn't want to share it.

Thisismyname1953

I’d quite like to go on a coach trip to the highlands of Scotland on my own but won’t book a trip in case people insist on speaking to me and in case they ask me to sit with them for meals .
I prefer to have peace to watch the scenery or to read a book on my kindle .
I know I’m weird

I am going on a coach trip to Wales on the 6th of July and I don’t like mixing with other people but I just very politely decline any of their offers for me to join them…

I have a partner but we live thirty miles apart. That way,l have the pleasure of my own company...and his, too.
We both have children, ex-partners, annoying family members etc etc.
This way ,it is easier to manage everything,clear who is paying and ,best of all,he is pleased to see me and always grateful for what l do.
Maybe if either of us becomes infirm we would live together - but l think we might manage another decade as we are( we are mid-sixties)
There is nothing wrong with enjoying your own peace and quiet especially after raising two sons alone!

I’d quite like to go on a coach trip to the highlands of Scotland on my own but won’t book a trip in case people insist on speaking to me and in case they ask me to sit with them for meals .
I prefer to have peace to watch the scenery or to read a book on my kindle .
I know I’m weird

Thank you all for your great comments. Some great points made. Be happy and content everyone ?

Oh yes. I am totally with you.

Mallin, you sound lovely !?

I’m 68 live alone 2 divorces no friends love it. People exhaust me just me and my dog.

Ditto Ditto Ditto BlueBelle Smile