Platonic friendship?

I’m with Sago, you could very well be on dangerous ground. I must admit I wouldn’t like my husband to be in touch with an old flame. It has the potential to become more than it is at the moment. If you and your wife engage with this person as a couple no worries, just you….her red flag! I mean do you really know what this other woman is quietly hoping for.

Ah, I was with you until you said it doesn’t feel wrong but maybe it has the potential to go wrong. That's a red flag to me. I enjoyed a purely platonic friendship with a male friend for many years, until his death. We made absolutely sure that both our partners were 100% comfortable with our friendship and frequently all met up together. There was never any time when our friendship created gossip with friends and certainly never had any potential to go wrong.

You're kidding yourself, and your wife, and your playing with fire Tablecloth.

Dickens

To suggest that the only relationship you can have with someone of the opposite sex is one which includes sex, is depressing.

I've kept in touch with a male work colleague from decades ago - my partner has met him and likes him. My feelings for this man are similar to those I have for my brother. There was never a physical attraction between us - we both value the friendship.

Work colleagues, yes, but it’s a different issue when it’s an old flame.

Mmmm...not sure. It's too easy for it to escalate and maybe start getting flirty. Or maybe not. Whatever, I don't think I would like it. Not that it matters now I'm well and truly single.

Meeting as couples, at least once, is a good idea so that there's no mystery.
If you are just chatting occasionally, and all texts or conversations are ones your spouses would be happy with, I see no problem.
Except your silly friends of course.
If they won't take a telling that they're going too far with the jokes, are they really friends at all?

To suggest that the only relationship you can have with someone of the opposite sex is one which includes sex, is depressing.

I've kept in touch with a male work colleague from decades ago - my partner has met him and likes him. My feelings for this man are similar to those I have for my brother. There was never a physical attraction between us - we both value the friendship.

I don't want to cast doubt, but it seems as soon as introducing the partners was mentioned, tablecloth went off the idea, too.
Hopefully he considered, and decided it was a bit dicey. (Either that, or he'll come back and tell me off!)

No I agree I wouldn’t like it if I was the partner of one of them either Miss Adventure, My DH said exactly the same,

If your wife knows about it, you are transparent and she doesn't mind, I don't think it is anyone else's business. Just be honest with yourself. If her contact gives you excitement, it's probably better not to carry on the communication. Otherwise, enjoy it for what it is.
My best friend from school is an ex boyfriend but the reason he's an ex was because as much as I liked him as a person, I didn't fancy him enough for a life long relationship. My husband, in the past a jealous soul, is not the least bothered. He gave me away when we married and he was the Godfather of my child.

Geekesse, we met by chance when we were on holiday and exchanged numbers. We only message about once a month if that. I didn’t think it would be a big deal and only told my friends in conversation never thinking they wouldn’t let the subject drop. I’m disappointed in them tbh because they think it’s one big joke.
All of your responses are very much appreciated, ladies.

Hmmm... Sounds like dangerous territory, potentially. Sorry to say this but I do wonder if men can genuinely be just friends with women, especially if there has been physical attraction in the past?

But only you really know in your heart of hearts what you feel and what you are doing and why you are doing it.

Is it really necessary if it is making things difficult for you?

But if you are needing to widen your circle of friends and your wife is happy with this then, always, getting together as two couples might work. As MissAdventure said... can you show your texts to your wife with a totally clean conscience.

You would think men in their 70 might have some sense but no.

I don't think men can ever be platonic. I had 2 lovely gym buddies.We met every day for coffee at the gym ,swapped texts, enjoyed each other's company. Both separately made passes which caused a bit of embarrassment and we have now lost touch due to covid.

So you have only recently reconnected, but you like to share it with your friends?
You know perfectly well there may be consequences.

Oh yes.
Good point!

sex is not the only criterion.
have you heard the phrase, an emotional affair.

Are you having conversations with her about how funny it is that my friends think we cant be platonic friends?

Why did you reconnect? Who initiated contact? If you, what were you hoping to achieve? If her, why should she look up an old flame, if not in the hope of rekindling a romance? It just smells odd to me. Anyone who uses the word ‘platonic’ is already describing something that is a relationship, not just a casual friendship, in my experience.

Maybe your wife genuinely has no concerns. Maybe she does but doesn’t want to come across as controlling. Maybe she’s had enough of you and it’s one way to keep you out of her hair.

I see know harm in it if you are both open with your partners and there is no hidden jealousy. Are you likely to meet up or is it just texting?

You’re on dangerous ground.

maybe it has the potential to go wrong.
This is enough.
Cut it out. It's not worth risking what you have.

Sorry.
I have watched this slow car crash happen..

Yes, Callistemon. Meeting up as couples would be an option and that would give our other halves an opportunity to get to know us. May work, or may not but I’m wondering if it’s worth the bother keeping in touch anyway due to friends reactions.

It's not wrong but what about meeting up as couples?

I'm quite a jealous person I suppose, as well as cynical, and i tend to think there would be one person amongst the four of you who may have a different viewpoint than "all platonic".

Mmmm think it depends...If you and hubby are like companions now it might work out....Sometimes you are better to just leave well alone....TBH I wouldn't like it...