Platonic friendship?

My wife is ok with it but my friends are not and keep making fun of it and making out that it cannot possibly be platonic!

I don’t see a problem as ling as your wife and her husband are happy with the arrangement. I presume your spouses are welcome to see / hear any conversations or correspondence between you and you friend.

It depends entirely on your wife. Personally, because I am not as nice as your wife, I wouldn’t like it.

Absolutely Ginny. It’s all above board. It’s the perpetual jokes and sexual innuendo from friends I don’t like, especially if my wife is present. They have latched on to the situation and won’t let it rest. I should never have told them.

Hmm.... I'd say "it depends". There's a range of factors that would need to be considered, IMO. More information is needed: such as ages of persons involved (then & now!) & how long a relationship it was. (Months? Years?) And how many years ago? Lots to think about.....

..

Well, if it is simply a friendship and you're not trying to rekindle old flames, and your wife is content with the situation, then of course it's not wrong.
Why are you even discussing it with other friends? It's none of their business! Put your phone on silent when you're with those other friends so they won't feel the need to ask, "Who's that from?" when a message arrives.

A long time ago Davida. We’re now in our late 70’s and been married for over 55 years, so not exactly loves young dream.

That says more about them than your situation, I would say to them in their partners hearing that it is odd that they could not have a platonic friendship with somebody.

Thanks Scribbles. You are right. It’s time to ignore them now after asking them to quieten down over it. That didn’t work and I know, I shouldn’t have told them. (Typical male).

My view: yes it's wrong. Obviously, I don't know you but - you asked the question so here's my reponse.

Your wife might say she's ok with it - but ...
So there's still an attraction there, after all these years you still feel you have things in common - enough to rekindle a freindship.
Dangerous ground. Your friends are right.

I wouldn't like it if I was the partner of one of them.

Thanks Ro 60 and Misadventure. Something to think about - it doesn’t feel wrong but maybe it has the potential to go wrong.

Let me make it absolutely clear here, if I thought it would have a detrimental effect on my wife or her husband I would call a halt to it. We are very happily and well and truly married soul mates.

Agree with Elizabeth27. Sadly there are a lot of men and women who seem to think there has to be sex involved in every male/female relationship. And if people aren't having sex they are probably hankering after it. Says far more about what is going on in their minds than what is actually happening.

My friend married my ex-fiance and we're all good friends. He stops here when he's passing for business and often stays the night. To think we are still lusting after each other would be totally ludicrous.

I suppose the question is, if your partner took your phone now, and read the messages, would they be perfectly happy with the friendship?
Or does it teeter around the edge of a acceptable at times?

Mmmm think it depends...If you and hubby are like companions now it might work out....Sometimes you are better to just leave well alone....TBH I wouldn't like it...

I'm quite a jealous person I suppose, as well as cynical, and i tend to think there would be one person amongst the four of you who may have a different viewpoint than "all platonic".

It's not wrong but what about meeting up as couples?

Yes, Callistemon. Meeting up as couples would be an option and that would give our other halves an opportunity to get to know us. May work, or may not but I’m wondering if it’s worth the bother keeping in touch anyway due to friends reactions.

maybe it has the potential to go wrong.
This is enough.
Cut it out. It's not worth risking what you have.

Sorry.
I have watched this slow car crash happen..

You’re on dangerous ground.

I see know harm in it if you are both open with your partners and there is no hidden jealousy. Are you likely to meet up or is it just texting?

Why did you reconnect? Who initiated contact? If you, what were you hoping to achieve? If her, why should she look up an old flame, if not in the hope of rekindling a romance? It just smells odd to me. Anyone who uses the word ‘platonic’ is already describing something that is a relationship, not just a casual friendship, in my experience.

Maybe your wife genuinely has no concerns. Maybe she does but doesn’t want to come across as controlling. Maybe she’s had enough of you and it’s one way to keep you out of her hair.

Are you having conversations with her about how funny it is that my friends think we cant be platonic friends?