Cancelling date with friend

Notjustaprettyface

Thank you morag65
At last a not nasty comment xx

The only comments that you seem to like are the ones that give you license to do what you want to do.

Thank you morag65
At last a not nasty comment xx

I had a friend of 20 years who announced our friendship 'had run its course' because I wasn't free to go to the cinema with her when she wanted to. I actually just 'laughed out loud it was so silly and I am so grateful she dismissed herself.

I lost a good friendship because I wasn't prepared to put up with his narcissistic partner, who called the shots on everything, and made a drama out of almost everything. I miss the friend but not the drama his partner created. It's better to break ties if the friendship isn't working.

OP. Please come back and tell us what you decided on. You asked for opinions, there is no need to disappear because you don't like them all, people were just saying what they thought as you asked them to.

Stick to your agreements and your word. You want to recruit people here to help you do a wrong? Not on your Nelly.

Lucca

MissAdventure

She has had some quite unpleasant comments, told she's hard work, thinks she's more important than anyone else.
Perhaps what with that, and it having been the weekend, she decided not to look at the thread again.

She got some “sympathy “ too. But the point is why start a thread and disappear ? Easy enough tomcome back and say you dont like what posters have said and you’re off. Just good manners in my book

I don't think that pointing out that her friend might be inconvenienced by her cancelling is a 'hard comment'.

Is it harsh to suggest that she hasn't come back to the thread because she doesn't do things unless she feels like it, and the fact that other people might have been inconvenienced by bothering to reply to her isn't on her radar either?

I dunno.

Perhaps she is out with her friend again?

MissAdventure

She has had some quite unpleasant comments, told she's hard work, thinks she's more important than anyone else.
Perhaps what with that, and it having been the weekend, she decided not to look at the thread again.

She got some “sympathy “ too. But the point is why start a thread and disappear ? Easy enough tomcome back and say you dont like what posters have said and you’re off. Just good manners in my book

Possibly just one of those Post and Go people
I do find it irritating along with those who won’t read the thread
Why ask a question then disappear !

Because you didn’t like the answer you got?

She has had some quite unpleasant comments, told she's hard work, thinks she's more important than anyone else.
Perhaps what with that, and it having been the weekend, she decided not to look at the thread again.

MissAdventure

I don't blame her, frankly.

Why ?

I don't blame her, frankly.

It is beautifully ironic that the OP has never responded to any of the questions asked.

Calendargirl

Did the OP meet up with the friend, or not? It should have happened on Friday last.

Will we ever know?

Possibly just one of those Post and Go people
I do find it irritating along with those who won’t read the thread
Why ask a question then disappear !

Did the OP meet up with the friend, or not? It should have happened on Friday last.

Will we ever know?

You sound like hard work the other party may be glad not to meet you

I wouldn't cancel. I would go along to meet the friend and during the time spent with your friend I would slip into the conversation that you thought she would have been in touch to confirm the meet up was still taking place. Saying that, have you been in touch with her to confirm? It maybe that she forgot it was taking place, there maybe all manner of reasons.

I hope your meet up is a lovely 1 ... enjoy your time with your friend, turn a negative into a positive.

I’m always playing second fiddle to one friend’s horse. Sometimes the excuses for lateness, rearranging, cancelling beggar belief!

I think you need to consider how you will feel if she decides to reconsider the friendship.

It's not necessarily going to be up to you whether things fizzle out - she might decide that being let down at the last minute because you don't feel like it is not something she's willing to put up with. If that doesn't bother you, fair enough, but if you don't want to lose her as a friend, then you might want to stick to the arrangement. If you were genuinely unable to go, I would feel differently, but not going just because you don't fancy like it is very selfish, IMO.

I have a friend who started cancelling on me a lot, and not giving a reason other than that she had something else she wanted to do. I couldn’t help but get the message that I wasn’t important to her. In the end, I stopped letting her rearrange our plans, hopefully she got the message that if she cancelled our plan, it might not happen at all!

I think your friend was very thoughtless cancelling on you on the day you were meeting. But I think you should consider where you want to go with the friendship, maybe see her less often if you don’t feel very close to her any more

What a lot of rather nasty comments. If you are not feeling up to going, a simple text to say, sorry I'm not feeling very well, I cannot make it tomorrow will suffice. Hope you're looking forward to other meet ups soon, with other people xx

No need for excuses. Just be honest.

Having rushed round to get ready for my cousin to come for a drink with us this afternoon, he turned up and decided he didn't want to come in. Although I was disappointed, I was glad he made the effort to get to the doorstep before he made that decision. We had a chat whilst he was in the car and he made his departure after about 20 minutes. It wasn't what I was looking forward to but hey ho.

Do you feel unwell
or exhausted from the heat at the moment ?
Or to be honest - aren't you that keen on this friend ?
Is that why you don't feel like going ?

If someone did it to you - you'd be upset and offended .

I'd go .

If you feel below par -just say I'm a bit tired could we just have nice quiet lunch or afternoon tea ?

One day , you might be glad to go out with this friend .

One of my old friends professed to really like me and used to let me down over and over for over 25 years .
Recently , she's been in touch and this time I have found the confidence to tell her that I'm sick and tired of being used .

Recently , a friend bought cinema tickets and was excited about going out .

It was a difficult time of day as I have to make complicated arrangements for my father's care and I felt bloody awful absolutely worn out from lack of sleep -but I went .

And even though , she's very odd and egocentric at times I was so glad to have gone .

So deep breath and go - you might enjoy yourself .