LinFreed - there's nothing wrong with expressing how you feel. Some ACs need it, some of the time. As do some older parents - no one's perfect.
Hopefully, your exchange of views, with your daughter, will have cleared the air between you, and you can both move on, with more understanding, which is much healthier than seething silence.
But, your SIL should keep any marriage issues he has between them - it never works when others get involved in relationship issues.
Good luck. ?
Bought the wrong Hot Cross Buns 😩