Would you tell your married kids everything about your finances ?

What's the point in having more than one PoA if only one signature is required to officially carry out the terms. Surely if there is more than one all must agree any decision. Can understand if urgent decisions needed and distance is involved but with all the technoligy available now signatures etc can be transferred almost immediately.

My late DH kept a list of all passwords and accounts etc which has been invaluable but even so have had problems when passwords have changed and the list has not been updated. Even today I've found that I don't know my Outlook password and this is not on the list, not computer savvy so have to wait and ask DS for help. Have been amazed at simple things like this that I didn't know.

My SIL saw my FIL's Will and took him out his care home to change it, without telling my DH, who was named in it as the executor. Where there is a Will there is a way........

My husband keeps a file of all our assets and liabilities which he updates monthly. It will be there when something happens to us.

In a word 'yes'. My mother did the same before she died. Made sorting out her estate much easier. I just hope and pray my children will survive me.

Why would you not share this information with your adult children? Our son is in the banking industry and has been our investment broker for many years so there’s no hiding this information from him! In fact he realizes it’s a benefit to him to be careful in the way he manages our funds because it will eventually benefit him and our daughter.

If you were unwell or had been diagnosed with a health condition, would you with hold this information from your adult children and keep it to yourself? I’m sure you wouldn’t! It’s exactly the same scenario really……especially as we age.

My Grandfather kept a simple journal. All bank account details written down, any financial products bought & sold/matured.

This was handed to his solicitor when he died. It saved loads of time & effort when it came to settling his affairs.

In my family we have always discussed our financial situation quite frankly between adults.

Not to the extend of viewing each others bank statements, but certainly to the extend of knowing whether parents, children, siblings or whoever were living comfortably or in debt.

My parents outlined their intentions regarding their wills to my sister and myself when they retired and we were both young adults. As they had a joint will, I asked my father when he after my mother's death said he would need to make a new will, that he either told us both the provisions or told neither of us, as I felt it was unfair if he only discussed his intentions with one of us. He agreed and subsequently only mentioned that he had made a new will and who his solicitor and executor was.

A power of attorney for the eventuality that we should become incapacitated is, obviously, a matter of trust. Again there, I asked my father to join my sister and myself in one, as I said truthfully that my sister would neither cheat me, nor accuse me of cheating her, but I did not want if he had chosen to give me the POA that her children and their spouses could look askance at the arrangement.

We avoided that pitfall, but when my sister died my suspicions regarding her children and their spouses proofed wll-justified.

If you either do not have children, or know that your children will be unable to agree whatever you have stipulated, I think you would be well advised to give a POA to some other responsible person, but this is a matter where you need legal advice.

Just to add, he also jotted down any details of financial ‘gifts’ he made for the purposes of tax etc.

It has to be pointed out that a gift is just that, it is not a loan to be repaid. Once a gift is made, then there cannot be an expectation of a return.

So parting with money you have as savings, reserve or sensible emergency fund is not sensible.

Only gift money that you can afford not to need or want to see again.

I wouldn't hesitate......I trust my daughter and my son in law to take care of us as we have done our best to help them in the past..

I would not tell my ACs all about my finances. Before my own ACs were drawn in by both their partners my ACs were meticulous about paying back any borrowed many. Since they got heavily involved with others they seem to think they are entitled to borrow and not pay back. They also tell their partners all sorts of things concerning me that I do not think their partners have any need or right to know. Both AC have been in horrendous debt despite both working very long hours and earning a good income.
One AC keeps telling people how much money I have. Luckily AC's estimation of my money is wrong! If the truth was known they would likely tell their partners and I would be under so much more pressure for money and goods etc.
I have no options but to keep my financial state a secret and I will have to direct money away from my own AC in my Will because I am not financing the layabouts they have chosen to keep.

4allweknow

What's the point in having more than one PoA if only one signature is required to officially carry out the terms. Surely if there is more than one all must agree any decision. Can understand if urgent decisions needed and distance is involved but with all the technoligy available now signatures etc can be transferred almost immediately.

You can set them up how you choose. Our two children both have POA, but either of them can sign things off. We chose to do it that way, although you can set it so they both need to do it.

Unless they live next door to one another, and you can be sure that this will continue, however, it's probably not the best idea. Part of the point of financial POA is so that if, say we were both abroad and needed money to pay medical bills, get a flight home, or get out of jail (!!) they can access it. In those circumstances we'd want action taken as close to immediately as possible, not to have to wait until one could get to the other so they could both sign a document.

I thought it strange at first to find my in-laws kept what they called “the out file “. It had their wills and financial information in, Their Power of Attorney docs. instructions for their funeral and a list of people to notify along with contact details, even a draft of an obituary along with the newspapers it was to appear in!
It was invaluable when they died- their wishes were clear and easy to find. So many points of conflict avoided at a stressful time . We have our own “out files”, checked and updated annually. Our AC’s have started one as well, even though they are only in their 30’s.
With everything in one place, the discussion of exactly what you have becomes irrelevant, although they do have a rough idea of what’s there (and what’s not)

4allweknow

What's the point in having more than one PoA if only one signature is required to officially carry out the terms. Surely if there is more than one all must agree any decision. Can understand if urgent decisions needed and distance is involved but with all the technoligy available now signatures etc can be transferred almost immediately.

My DH & I held POA for my mother in law. It meant he could deal with things like the care home, frequent hospital visits and arranging carers but I was able to access her accounts and monitor the assets - just as well as she had over £40,000 in the Post Office as she didn't use her state pension. He worked (and stayed) in the city she lived and I was working full time in our home city

I keep meaning to update our wills, not that it will be much different from the one we made 10 years ago. Our DD's know we are not well off, (comfortable is the word). They can easily find the value of the house, but no we have not discussed it with them.

When my husband passed away in 2021, once I had all the finances sorted, I changed my will. My 3 children and 6 grandchildren know what my will says but not the value. I'm not intending to leave anything intentionally but I do want to try and live a normal life and enjoy the money we worked hard for 50 years to gather. The family will get the house no matter what.

I'm ashamed to admit that sitting on a shelf is a 'Lifebook' that I obtained from Age UK some years ago.

In it you are prompted to write all the information that might be needed if you are incapacitated or worse.

You can now download it from
www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/end-of-life-planning/lifebook/

In a nutshell ..... no..
None of their business.... yet.

My ex died recently, quite suddenly and although he left a simple will there were no details in a specific folder re bank accounts, belongings etc and no mention anywhere re what he would like for a funeral, ashes etc. He wasn’t close to my 3 children contact wise and didn’t live near, nearly a hundred miles from the closest and 200 miles from the other two. Trying to sort a funeral etc proved amazingly stressful for everyone as they all had different views on what should happen. I have promised to leave plenty of info re where my funeral should be, favourite music, personal wishes etc. I’m sure things will change as time goes on but thought I’d update all my info yearly around my birthday. Fingers crossed this will save lots of problems for my children in the future. My next job is to sort my LPA.

Have a clear will.name names, don't use terms like "favourite" youngest etc things changed poa? Set out your preference that all have to be made aware of decisions made and funding is also to be open and clear so no single person can dip into the pot!. otherwise? Spend the bloody lot, we are!!!!

I’ve told my youngest son there’s a file with everything he needs to sort stuff out. The oldest knows reasonable amount but three sons don’t know all of our finances as we don’t know them yet. We are still working and haven’t received pensions yet. If and when the time comes I may have a word or may nit just as the occasion arises some things are private.

Good idea Germanshepherdsmum

My children have some idea but dont know everything...

I have also left my important PIN numbers and passwords with my will so they can access important stuff online.

My mum disclosed all financial information and gave me access to all accounts, including a safe deposit box at the bank, years before she and my dad passed. She was vigilant about updating the information yearly. This was invaluable when she and my day began to fail. I have done the same with my DS. Perhaps the difference is that I am an only child as is my DS. So no opportunity to squabble with anyone.

Our dd has poa and all details of my finances as I am tending to lose track of them. She has poa only for dh. If she knows it all it makes things easier for her and other dcs (who.are fully informed and in agreement)in the end.