How do deal with rocky relationship.

Take yourself off to Brazil for a coupleofweeks, have fun and let the cards fall where they will

As the op has stated that she is thinking of the rising price of tickets I very much doubt if Brazil is on the cards.

You've been invited, so book your tickets and go, otherwise you may not get an invitation again. However, try to plan things to do independently while you're there, in case things become 'icy'.

You don’t say how you’re traveling, or for how long.
My sensible head says to go and see ‘how the land lies’. Perhaps your DD will be in a better mood and you can also suss out why the relationship with your DGCs is a bit ‘off’.
After that visit, you might be a bit clearer about things.

Agent007 - so you too have a “moody” daughter?- I’ve been on a couple of holidays with mine. Say no more ……..

Please do not book anything w/o checking dates with your daughter

Sometimes, no response is a response by itself

How old are your gc?

I think it's lovely that you are prepared to make the effort to travel abroad to see the grandchildren. So I would tell your daughter you're about to book those dates and if you don't hear from her, just proceed with it. She will hardly dump you in the local hotel. Bon voyage!

GC often lose interest in skype calls with relatives after a certain age. That may be all it is.

I would buy your tickets and go - if it is a disaster, then you have learned from that - but hopefully it will be fine.

If OP expects to be housed at her daughter's and spend time with them - it is imperative to make sure dates also work for the daughter and her family

The relationship is already rocky, why make it more difficult?

Hithere

If OP expects to be housed at her daughter's and spend time with them - it is imperative to make sure dates also work for the daughter and her family

The relationship is already rocky, why make it more difficult?

Yup ...even though you were invited I do think you need to make contact to confirm. Her "iciness"/Lack of response is not appropriate especially as the invitation has been issued, but if you just turn up without confirming there is a distinct possibility that relationship issues will get worse.

I hope that you can sort it out

Thank you to all for your thoughts. I get both sides of the argument but I couldn't "just turn up" without her agreeing to it. I hope it will turn out okay, but I feel the pain of maybe it won't. I do resent being treated like that, but saying so wouldn't help. So we'll see.

I wouldn’t think anything of the grandchildren not wanting to Skype, they generally get less interested in that as they get older. I’m guessing they’re teenagers or around that age? Their social lives become the most important thing to them then, it’s completely normal.

I personally couldn’t/wouldn’t go if I knew the welcome wasn’t going to be warm. But on the other hand you know your daughter.

If the current state of play is icy, then I can’t see it being anything other than glacial to go ahead with a visit despite no clear confirmation from the daughter that the visit is a welcome one. I wouldn’t think of doing that even if my daughter lived in the neighbouring town let alone abroad. A recipe for even more distress and unhappiness.

Sometimes we just have to accept that our family don’t want to do the things we would like them to do and hope that things will change in time.

I’d be inclined to try to divert myself by spending the ticket price on something nearer home that I know would bring me pleasure.

I too have a ‘difficult’ daughter.

If the c are teens they are probably just going through a phase which will end and they will suddenly emerge ready to be civil again. Just keep the door open by sending cards or a bit of cash for their birthday. They won't forget that. It is awkward for you not knowing whether to book tickets or not. Could you just message saying ..no pressure if it doesn't suit but l was going to book a flight on Oct 1st..need to hear from you pretty soon before l book. Then don't book until you hear.

Agent007

Thank you to all for your thoughts. I get both sides of the argument but I couldn't "just turn up" without her agreeing to it. I hope it will turn out okay, but I feel the pain of maybe it won't. I do resent being treated like that, but saying so wouldn't help. So we'll see.

what a very sad situation for you.It is true that children rarely want to Skype, I am not too keen on it myself.
you cannot go without her approval for the dates though.
could you invite them to visit you instead?
I can never understand why a child would treat a parent this way.