Struggling

The problem obviously lies with your fears of living again he sounds as if he’s lost patience of trying to get back to normal
Perhaps he won’t talk because he knows there’s no movement or he’s fed up with going round and round in circles
I can understand you being cautious after losing two family members but you ve become fixated with fear and in saving your life from catching CoviD you have lost your life and are merely existing
He’s had enough
Get some GP help/ counselling …..private if you can afford it (as long waiting lists) anything to get you out of this fear and depression
Do you have grown up children/close friends aren’t they noticing you don’t go out

You are just as much in danger of catching CoviD from your husband bringing it home from the golf club as you are going to the park or for a coffee together
You need professional help

ms30, I htink you should start a new thread with this for more advise.

nanderin - relationships do sometimes have troubles; it sounds like your has come to a crisis. It's time to talk to your husband and perhaps go to counseling.

After 2.5 years of being cruelly cut off by my son and his girlfriend and my grandchildren he got proof that i nearly died and had heart failure and emergency surgery he decided to appear like a ghost and visited me and my husband. What he did i am finding it so so hard to move forward. robbed me of 2.5 years of my grandchildren, didnt even enquire when his sister told him i was in intensive care. Thought it was a ploy to get attention. We were once the closest mom and son. Best friends until he met her. I was always decent towards her no reason for her hatred except jealousy. Now my son says itll be slow but that he wants to "move forward" but hes doing nothing at all. Still havent seen the kids and he wont tell us where he lives. My husband has been so hurt. And i fell apart so badly i honestly cant move on from it. Help

Nanderin I am sorry to read you are struggling. Others have suggested help for your anxiety and you must get in touch with your GP to see if they can help.
Times have been scary and you need help to get your confidence back.
Good luck

(GSM - goodness! Let's hope you don't need help in the future and are met with such remarks)

I agree with Madgran get some help with your anxiety Nanderin then look at your relationship. Good luck

Nanderin from the small amount of information you have given, I suggest you get some counselling to help you see the wood from the trees. I think your anxiety is caught up with the other issues in your relationship and you need some help to work through that. Talk to your GP and go from there

Germanshepherdsmum

I’m not surprised he wants to leave if effectively you are still in lockdown. What a dreadfully boring existence. I’m sorry family members died in 2020 but remember we now have a very effective vaccine - I trust you’re up to date with vaccinations and boosters?

Dear me!

You haven't given much information and you don't mention whether you have adult children, siblings or friends you can speak to. If you feel in danger either physically or mentally then you need to seek help through your doctor or the Samaritans who will direct you to find help.

I’m not surprised he wants to leave if effectively you are still in lockdown. What a dreadfully boring existence. I’m sorry family members died in 2020 but remember we now have a very effective vaccine - I trust you’re up to date with vaccinations and boosters?

He says now he wants to leave. I am at my wit's end.

What do you want to discuss with him?

Hi I had two family members die of Covid in 2020 so it really made me fearful.

First I think you need to gain confidence in going out again. Most people now visit shops, supermarkets etc. Some are still wearing masks so you could try a trip to the local shops with your mask and maybe a short trip on the bus with your mask on.
Then I agree with Chestnut. Maybe identify a couple of points and start with that but if you fear violence then you have to make yourself safe.

Why are you still scared to go back to normal?

You don't sound a very assertive person, so maybe now is the time to gain confidence. It sounds like he is in charge in which case you have to address this balance and not allow him to have all his own way. I have no idea what he is like, but as long as he's not violent or abusive you can start pushing forward and see where it leads.

'He won't discuss anything with me' is not an option. He must discuss things with you. Fix a good time to sit down together and explain how you feel. Prepare for this so you know what you will say. Get a response to each of your issues, don't let it go until you have a response and a plan of action on how to make this particular thing better. If he gets frustrated and tries to shut it down then become more forceful and demand that the issue is dealt with. As I said, never tackle a man who is liable to violence, but as long as you're safe then keep pushing his buttons until he faces the problem.