Completely different things wanted from retirement.

Could you get a house with a garden big enough for a "Man shed", maybe one with glass doors and a sitting-out area? That was one of our neighbour's solutions. So they both benefitted and went on holiday.

I’ve thought about sheds and other stuff. But he wants a bigger garage if possible. I just don’t see how it’s possible.

We live in a university city. It’s quite densely populated and built up, and prices are high.

He was even going on about wanting some extra land the other day.

I would get a large garden shed,too. Cheaper than a garage and you can even get kits which would give him something to do building it up. Prices are unstable just now and may drop in the future. Get a large piece of paper with 4 columns and compare what you both want. Must haves, would like. See if you have any must haves in common.

I’d love to get a shed. But as l said it’s really built up. A lot of houses don’t have drives and most have quite small gardens.

If there’s space to pit a big shed it’s down to square m again. The more sq m the bigger the cost.

When you say you need to downsize in order to fund your retirement, what exactly can you not afford if you stay where you are? And are you actually retired yet?

I’ve got I’ll health retirement. As part of this lm not allowed to work as l was awarded the enhanced amount.

He’s got 2 years to go to state pension. I’ve got 8. He hasn’t got a very good private/occupational pension. When he retires we will lose a lot of money.

The only way to make this more comfortable is to release money from our house whether by selling or equity release.

To downsize in current area to keep me in doc catchment we would probably have to lose a garage. They are few and far between and add a lot to a house price. So it’s quite difficult to downsize. It is possible, but would really rekease much.

He wants to move further into the country, where you get more for your money and he could have a bigger garage and more money for his hobby. This takes me away from my GP. Also I’m an urbanite, and like having buses and stuff on my doorstep.

Where we live now is on the edge of a city and it’s quite rural. But it’s a suburban road and he’s fed up of ‘being overlooked’ by other houses. It doesn’t even register on my radar.

Can you afford his hobby long term?
Can he enjoy his hobby long term?

I don’t understand why you are not allowed to work. I realise that would affect your benefits, but surely if you can work you should?

There are other good GPS you know! And there are buses in rural areas if you choose the right place,

I was awarded an enhanced pension. If l work under the rules of that particular pension agency then l lose the enhancement. So, l lose a lot of my income if l take up a job.

I didn’t choose the level of pension, this is what the pension bids decided.

I think you need to consider that you should both have what you want/need equally. If you’re still a “couple”, both of you should be wanting each other to be happy and therefore both willing to compromise in some ways.
I think you need to discuss the idea of compromise and finding the middle ground. Then look very carefully at your future income and current savings.
Explore different possibilities; equity release, cutting down on amounts spent on hobbies, holidays, subscriptions etc etc.
What’s vital? What’s negotiable etc .
You both seriously need to agree that if you want to stay together and have a satisfying retirement, you both will have to compromise. If you can, agree to leave the emotional responses on one side and try to concentrate on facts and practicalities.
Retirement is a big thing and deserves a lot of discussion and consideration.

Don’t you think a job might be more than just financially rewarding, and that you could earn enough not to be worse off?

I would love to have a job. But l can’t take one! Also, as l got ill health retirement, I do have quite a lot wrong with me and was absent more than l felt l should be when working.

I am wondering if you could both increase your income?
A) your husband could take a p/t job to help fund his hobby?
B) you might be eligible for PIP, which is not means- tested

I’m not eligible for PIP. I’ve tried.

I think he will do a part time job.

TBh it’s the gap until l get my state pension that’s tricky.

O dear. Didn't you ever discuss this before you both retired? I only retired last Friday and hubby only 6 weeks before me, so to be honest it's all new for us, but we do basically want the same things. We love spending time in the home albeit him in the garden/greenhouse, me indoors with my crafting and reading. We both also enjoy holidays. ~Our main difference is money. Over the years we've helped our 2 children out a lot and now we're helping the grandchildren, with loans for cars etc. I feel that they should all pay back a bit, so they learn what money's about, but not all of it, while hubby insists that every penny is paid back. He never had anything as a child as his parents simply wasted their money, so I think he wants to hang on to what he's got. I really don't know what the answer to your problem is, but talking about splitting up because of this seems a bit severe.

Well I have to say, it seems to be very much what you want when he’s the breadwinner.

Fizzlywizzly

He needs the garage to store his hobby stuff in. But the cost of a garage is high.

Can he not just buy a big shed?

Retirement is such an important phase of life it does need a lot of thought.
We had a gap between pensions as well Fizzlywizzly we did B & B for a while to help pay our bills. Maybe you could sort something out for the interim period and then think again.
Cleopanda has the right idea about considering all the pros and cons and writing them down. There does have to be an element of compromise though.

How much is this hobby, are we talking $, $$ or $$$ monthly?

It’s not about what l want.

The only thing l really want is to stay with my gp. I don’t care about anything else, apart from maybe a bus service.

And he won’t be the breadwinner when he retires.

Fizzlywizzly

And he won’t be the breadwinner when he retires.

But don’t your plans take advantage of the fact that he’s currently the main breadwinner, so in that sense he is funding your dreams? I personally think it’s a mistake to expect him to give up his dreams for retirement so you can live yours, you have to compromise and I think that means getting a house with a garage.

You want holidays too I think? He may have to work beyond retirement age, so many have to nowadays and you won’t get your SP for eight years.

I agree Casdon.