Betrayal of trust

Gossiping is what you are describing.

Some gossip is intended to be malicious but your partner is NOT malicious. Comparing what people buy on Amazon is acceptable chit chat for most people.

Well, I believe I have understood your problem reasonably well.

You are obviously hurt that your partner mentioned your spending habits, so you need to make that very clear to her.

And for good measure mention anything else that you would feel was a betrayal if she talked to a friend about it.

Ask her to please not betray your confidence again.

People have differing opinions about what is, or should be, private. I would not be bothered if DH told a friend what I bought, but you are, so try to explain this to your partner.

Can i just say how rude it seems when someone is trying to communicate their feelings and they are attacked for their grammar?

The only difference it would make if they are all women would be that there might be an element of jealousy about the relationship that would be of a different kind from if not.

I agree that most of his have a bit of a moan about our partners, but from what I can understand of the OP this has reached the point where a third party is advising about the OP's spending habits. That would irritate me more than a bit.

When I worked as a barmaid in a (very respectable) club, you should have heard how the men spoke about their wives and partners.

I don't think it was done with malice, though.

It made me smile to myself when they came in with "the wife".

there seems to be an assumption that the OP is not a woman

Actually I thought the OP was a woman, don’t know why really. In any case, the problem remains the same.

But the reality is that a lot of us DO share certain everyday habits of partners/family with friends and have little grumbles at times. I th

Its a matter of degree, isn't it, and whats being talked about , and whether the friend goes and passes everything on and so on.
and whether you are trying to control whether she talks about you at all or this is a specific bugbear.

As for the male/female but, well I have overheard blokes at the gym "gossiping" about wives just like women do sometimes about DH's.

Do you and your partner and the neighbour all live in a block of flats with a common room?

When your partner goes to spend time with the neighbour, where are you? Could you go too?

I understand you feeling hurt that your habits are being discussed with someone outside of your relationship, but why have you not brought this up with your partner? Are all of you women, or are you the only man in this trio? Either way, if you are unhappy about your partner spending hours a day with the neighbour, it would be better if you have a conversation about it. Why does she feel the need?

Grandmabatty

I would learn to use full stops first.

no need for bad manners.

once one person is nasty it seems to have a copy cat effect.
no need.

I would rethink your relationship. I would be furious if a partner of mine told others our private business.

there seems to be an assumption that the OP is not a woman.
either way, or rainbow multiples thereof, my advice would be distance. keep your own counsel.
reconsider what company you keep.

to me this appears to be the biggest real bugbear,

"they also spend all day together daily started during the beginning of the pandemic started as short coffees now it’s hours a day what would you do in this situation?"

It sounds like jealously to me. With the little information you've given it seems to me you have a relationship that needs some healing. Many of us women do like a lot of natters with women friends:

if it's that you are feeling, "and why isn't she spending so much time nattering with me"

its something between you not a matter of "right" and "wrong".

Perhaps your partner is worried about finances and is off loading to her friend. But as others have said it’s a bit difficult to get the gist of the problem.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Your partner needs time with a friend, rather than just with you, and women can cover an awful lot of topics in their conversations.

Just ask her not to include your expenditure in future.

That is just one very long, rambling sentence. How can we help if we can't make sense of it?

I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're attempting to say?

Oh dear , my late DH was heard to comment that the Amazon delivery driver was such a regular visitor to our house his van knew the way by itself.

Were these really such life-threatening revelations?
Most of us have “guilty” shopping secrets!

Very unreadable cookhouse and rambling
You’re upset because your partner told her friend, your neighbour some things about your spending habits is that it ?
And she spends more time than you like with this person

My advice can only be talk to your partner about it

I would learn to use full stops first.