What do I do with a husband , he's 77 & I'm 78, who shouts at me.

I know his hearing is much worse than mine because of how he has to set the volume on the TV.

Tell him quietly, but curtly, to close the window and the door and move out of earshot. Alternatively, turn the heating off.

Bless you. Perhaps I should pick him up on things I've let go by

I know it's abuse but where would I go ?

shouting back doesn't work because he's got a much better set of lungs than I have and it wouldn't be an exageration to say he can go on & on & on. Just like his mother.

Oh dear! I shouted at my old man because the heating was on and he left the back door wide open ….again!

Energy is expensive these days

What other examples can you give us?

Ask him if he needs his ears syringed because everything he says is a shout and you know what a kind person he is and would not want to appear abusive.

You could shout back!

Hello Meer. I was going to ask the same question as Madgran because if this isn't usual it could be an indication of an underlying health issue.

If this is the case, maybe you could have a chat and find out if he's worried about anything or having any physical symptoms, then encourage him to see his GP.

If it's something he's always done then follow Oreo's advice and tell him to please keep his voice down when he's talking to you.

Does he shout because he’s deaf or because you were in another room?
If neither, tell him to keep his voice down please in future.

Is it changed behaviour?

What do you usually do when he does this? Is it recent?

Tell him you’ll leave if it continues. It’s abuse.