Incontinent husband

You do need to talk with him about this. He is your husband and it should be possible to discuss this. If you do not sort it out you will find you have smelly furniture and it is very hard to get rid of.

My OH had a convene catheter, which is like a condom that feeds into a bag on the thigh. The GC were fascinated with it - the pipe goes where?! They used to come and tell me if his bag was full.

OP

Difficult, isnt it?

I agree with others that your dh needs to know.

Do you think coming from his AC would help?

There is some great advice here. I wonder why your son can’t tackle his father about the matter. Why have you got to be the one in the firing line?

My MIL suffered with this, and agree with Lathyrus' points above. Would also add that the cheapest (disposable) option to protect armchairs etc were puppy training pads!

I’ve crossed posts with some of you ladies!

Your husband should see his GP to check if there are underlying problems causing the incontinence ( if he hasn’t already) as there maybe be a treatable problem. Eg an enlarged prostate could be preventing him from emptying his bladder completely and then causing dribbling afterwards.

There will hopefully be a continence nurse attached to your practice who will assess and offer advice re pads. If he is reluctant to wear pads there are washable y-fronts with an inbuilt washable pad in the gusset. They can be bought online but should also be available via the continence nurse.

I’d also give some thought to your furniture and car seats before it’s too late. I’ve attached a link to washable seat pads which I use for a learning disabled adult in the family. They come in various colours. I have a discreet black one on the car seat to catch any mishaps. They are machine washable.
amzn.eu/d/bvMZa3P

Lathyrus is on the ball. His clothes must be washed every day. In the supermarket, next to the detergents you can buy laundry sanitiser, please use it with every wash.
He is your husband, surely you can mention that his clothes are smelly. Incontinence is a health problem so he needs to see his doctor. Just deal with it matter of factly, no need for embarrassment, just be firm.
It is easy to become nose blind to persistent smells. How are your dining room chairs and armchairs? What about you mattress and duvet?

My husband had this with prostate cancer as he had a catheter in his tummy to direct the urine he couldn’t void but sometimes it would simply force its way down the urethra and out. He was terrific about the incontinence pants (started off with pads) but was unable to shower due to an allergy to water (so unfair, cancer is plain evil). I was able to stop him from worrying about smells due to constant washing of clothes and disposal of the pads etc. we had an incontinence nurse who was brilliant, we bought our own pads etc, thank goodness for PIP. I’m so sorry your husband doesn’t recognise the issue, it makes it so much harder to deal with. I wonder if you could ask a medic to help him recognise the issue.

I think you might need to be a bit blunt with him, even if he doesn’t like it! I was just checking online and there are washable incontinence underpants for men - I think they’re like the period pants for women. Might be easier to get him to wear these rather than pads, and would save trousers.

Trousers in the wash every day, I’m afraid if they’re at all damp. Just pick them up off the chair or the floor and take them away.

Incontinence pads.

Twice daily showers.

I’m sorry, I don’t know what his health problems are that might make this difficult but I have been through something very similar. It’s the only way.💐

Have you tried contacting the local Continence Advisor? I believe it can still be done directly without going through your GP, but if not, your GP could do a referral. She can supply incontinence pads and/or pants. The do contain the smell and keep clothes dry. There are other things she do to to help.

All I would say is that, when I had the same problem with my late husband (although he was willing to let me help him shower), we were offered inco pads by the Continence Advisor, but chose to buy them ourselves. They are not cheap though.