Do I stay or do I go?

LaCrepescule, I think the only valid reason to marry is being madly in love and needing to be together. You have the best of both worlds, times of independence and also company. He'd soon get on your nerves if you lived with him full time!

The main thing is you have been honest with him.
If he is honest back then you are right, see how it pans out. See if/how your feelings change...if/how his feelings change.

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I'm in no way recommending you to get married, btw, as it's not what you want.

Would this man really be a support to you, if you became ill?
Or would he feel he could back off a bit, as you are just friends?

You've been honest.
It's fair enough to stay if you're happy with how things are and your friend has accepted that too.
But accept that he may not feel as committed to you as a husband would.

Cuddles are enough, my libido died years ago and I’m fine with that! But he’s younger than me and I’m not sure how to handle it. Sometimes he’s really lovely to me but the grumpy side of him is a real pain. Guess I’ll just keep to the status quo and see what happens. Thank you all for the advice 🙏

I'm sorry but grumpy and affectionate would be a no no for me. Are you content with this. I don't think so if you've felt it worth mentioning.
Meantime you are preventing yourself from meeting someone who could provide a warmer relationship.
I wish you well.

Fleur20

A relationship only works if both parties get something acceptable from it.
You have been honest, its his choice to stay or go.
But do not 'settle' for grumpy and unaffectionate..

Or no sex, if you want that. Or are cuddles enough - if you get them? I cant imagine having someone special without a physical side (not necessarily sex, but loving touch)

A relationship only works if both parties get something acceptable from it.
You have been honest, its his choice to stay or go.
But do not 'settle' for grumpy and unaffectionate..

Thank you. Yes, I can’t give more and I think he knows that now. He can also be very grumpy and unaffectionate and I need space from that.

I don't think you are being unfair. You have told him what you want from the relationship haven't you?
I am in a second relationship and neither of us want to re-marry; bother been there already and both badly scared, physically and emotionally.

FlexibleFriend

You've told him what you want and are willing to give so now it's up to him to decide if that's ok with him. Although if you're only with him because you don't want to be alone that's not really fair.

I agree with FlexibleFriend

As long as you are honest with him about your reasons you are not being unfair.

STAY!!!

I agree with Namsnanny.

Stay with things the way they are.
Be kind and attentive when you are together.
Let him decide if he doesnt like the situation, and do what suits him about it.
A marriage, feeling the way you do would be a burden to you and unfair to him imv.

You've told him what you want and are willing to give so now it's up to him to decide if that's ok with him. Although if you're only with him because you don't want to be alone that's not really fair.