Mistake of reading comments on Granset.

I didn’t comment on the breast feeding thread because my NY resolution is to be kinder😬.
Why do people post and not expect a variety of opinions?

ThespiGran

Ive had enough of Gransnet. Im off.

You might be happier here, OP

www.reinforcemyprejudices.com

Nobody will disagree with you there.

VioletSky

When I've had enough of gransnet, I just comment more to be annoying

😞

When I've had enough of gransnet, I just comment more to be annoying

Ive had enough of Gransnet. Im off.

The problem of being on any forum like this is that you get a cross section of people on it. It is not possible to remove all members who may disagree with you, quite strongly and you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth.

I have been on GN almost since it started and, once or twice, I have been taken aback to the response to threads I had started that seemed unlikely to lead to sharp responses.

But life in general is like that. If all you want is kind replies with no risk of the opposite then perhaps GN is not for you, but if you are willing to take the rough with the smooth, we are actually a friendly and very varied group of people, who like all large groups sometimes disagree and make that disagreement quite clear.

Some responses are sharp but generally well meant and helpful don’t get put off, some replies are likely to be from activists, ignore those and go with the general trend of replies.

ThespiGran

I dont know how to. Its not giving me an option to edit or delete

to delete your own thread click on report on the right and ask them to delete.

A well balanced point of view Doodle. Excellent advice.

I would try not to take it to heart, as you have done

I never breast fed and would nit have been happy anyone other than a midwife giving me advice. I have three healthy sons.

You stay with it, honestly you get used to some of the responses and it's up to you whether to bite back or not. I really enjoy it and find some of the threads are really interesting and helpful. Give it another go 💐

I don't think people usually intend to hurt, although if you hang around you will see that there are posters who are much more black and white in their thinking than others.

Sometimes people are responding to hurt they have felt themselves, so to use your thread as an example, someone (like me) who found breastfeeding impossible will perhaps take less kindly to hearing about a husband telling his mum that not persevering with it is 'lazy' than would someone who felt that a grandparent had a right to be involved in the way her grandchildren are brought up. You are going to find people with a much wider range of experiences and backgrounds on somewhere like this than you will elsewhere, which is what makes it valuable, and also what can make it difficult.

As others have said, only hearing voices that agree with you (which is not synonymous with 'supportive', incidentally) isn't particularly helpful - you could have told yourself everything they have said. Listening to alternative points of view can be difficult, but is actually more supportive, as if you genuinely listen to them and consider whether there is any truth in the perspectives you can gain a rounder opinion yourself. Obviously you don't have to agree with anyone, or act on any suggestions - that is up to you - but writing people off simply for having a different point of view is pointless. Why bother asking if you are only going to listen to those who agree? Also, suggesting that you will leave unless you get 'support' won't get you very far either. The 'flounce' is not highly regarded on any internet forum. It is insulting to those who have taken the time to make suggestions about your dilemma, whether you agree with them or not.

Sorry you've been upset but in my experience Gnetters are generally very helpful and not intending to hurt.

It’s a real eye opener for social media virgins isn’t it? Every forum (bar one that I use) has their share of critical voices. As others have said pay no attention and go with those who offer support.

I commented on the other post and like others was looking at it from the new mums POV. Think we wanted to warn the poster that things can easily go very wrong in this sort of thing. The intention was to be helpful.

Just seen this thread.
IMO the advice on the breast feeding thread was spot on.
There were no scolding or upsetting posts at all.
Not sure what’s going on here tbh.

No facial expression or tone of voice - internet comments can be off putting. You did well asking and taking on comments.

I have found Gransnet hugely supportive and hope that you will stick with it.

When people make comments online, they can often be a bit blunter than in face to face communications; and of course we only hear one side of the story, and also do not know you or which comments might feel particularly sensitive for you. Under normal real life circumstances it would be more likely that we would know what not to say!

But I do think that the comments on your thread mostly had in common a desire to be helpful and to prevent future discomforts in your relationship with the Mum of your GS, so that you can fully enjoy being a gran.

If Gransnet is not for you, then that is fine; if you want to give it a go a bit longer, then that too is fine.

Report your own post that gives the baby s name and give the reason why
After your name date year etc on the top line of your post it says add comment, report post etc etc click on report post and when it asks you why tell them you gave too much info and would like it deleted

I loved breast feeding my daughter for 25 months and was bereft when her brother lost interest at 6 months once he discovered solids. But I know well enough that a happy mother feeding as suits her is the best for any child.
Some members of long standing who are regular posters appear to think their opinion the only ones that matter, and dole them out with little thought of the impact on others. Ignore their ignorance, no doubt caused by having a very small life of their own.

Please don’t be out off, ThespiGran. Some GNers are often a bit abrasive or bossy-sounding. Just ignore.

I do agree with anyone who said keep,out of it, though. I’d just tell my son that it’s not up to him and you’re not going to get involved. Breast feeding is often not easy, and especially in the early days, can be exhausting. Particularly nowadays, when instead of the 3 or 4 hourly feeds usual in my new-baby-days, young mothers are now told that they must have the baby almost permanently plugged in, so to speak.

As the saying goes, Fed Is Best (whether breast or bottle).

That, unfortunately, is one of the dangers of posting on an internet forum like this. You are always going to get a variety of opinions, some of which you might not like or may even feel personally attacked or offended by. Some people can be quite blunt in the way they post, but mean no harm by it. Keep telling yourself that opinions are like a***holes - everybody's got one!

I dont know how to. Its not giving me an option to edit or delete

Just be thankful you didn't post on Mumsnet!! Although I didn't see the thread I might have commented. While I loved breastfeeding and think it is absolutely the best thing for newborns, there is no way I would criticise anyone who chooses not to. My two DC each have a baby and one was breastfed and one wasn't. It is 100% the mother's choice and there are far worse things parents can do than decide not to breastfeed/stop breastfeeding.