Mistake of reading comments on Granset.

Good idea
Thank you. Im such a beginner

Sometimes we get posts asking for advice and the person who posted it really only wants to hear what they were already thinking.

Try to take a step back from your situation and read objectively... Your feelings might make advice against what you are doing hard to hear.

Some people are sharp or blunt in their typing styles yes but that doesn't mean they don't have your best interests at heart...

The best friends I have ever had in life are the ones who will tell me I'm an idiot when I'm being one.

I've learned to trust those who will tell me how it is far more than those who will tell me what I want to hear. Those who will tell me what I want to hear will expect the same back.

Truly... an echo chamber of our own thoughts reflected back at us is an easy way to never ever achieve any personal growth or improve our own lives and relationships.

What are you meaning Riverwalk?

For the life of me I don't know why people rise to the bait!

Its poor advice to say, as some are here, to only pay attention to comments that you like.
If people say they think you are going wrong, at least consider what they said.
Running away won't help.

Iam64

It may be wise to get your comment giving your grandsons name removed

It might be wise to get the other thread removed altogether too.

I think posters were shocked that a new mother with a month-old baby was being criticised and called lazy and then posters reacted accordingly.

I presume this isn't another of those threads.

Don't be put off.

I didn't see your first thread but I only breastfed my first child. It was like the milk was being drawn through my big toe and I had to pull it through my body. I struggled for 3 months and I have never been so exhausted in my life. The best thing I did for me and my child was to put him on a bottle. For the first time he seemed satisfied (full). I never even attempted to breastfeed my two daughters. One attempt was more than enough.

I mean this kindly, try putting yourself in your DiLs situation.
Just after giving birth, how would you feel if your DH and MiL were discussing how disappointed they were in you if you made the decision bf wasn’t for you?
The last thing any new mother needs is criticism, especially from her DH I think you would agree.

Congratulations on becoming a grandmother, this is our time to enjoy our GC allowing the parents to get on with parenting as we all had to do, mistakes and all.

ThespiGran don't leave! I'm sorry if you found the comments off putting. Possibly, it's a common reaction for women to not want a man's "critical" input to matters that pertain exclusively to women such as giving birth, breastfeeding, periods, menopause. It's just that ! a trigger that is likely to elicit a fierce response. Giving birth and the aftermath can sometimes be a difficult time, but your daughter in law just needs time to find her feet and a routine that is ideal for her.

An anxious time for you, but in the meantime, welcome to Gransnet and congratulations on the birth of your new grandchild wishing you many happy times with him.

My apologies if my response upset you, it wasn't my intention to do so.

It may be wise to get your comment giving your grandsons name removed

Oh gosh I hope my advice didn’t upset you I was looking at it from your poor daughter in laws point of view a month after giving birth
I hope things settle and you and your son accept that there may be reasons that she doesn’t want to continue other than her being lazy as your son told her she was
Take what you feel is the right advice for you ignore anything you don’t like but do remember it’s often what we don’t want to hear that is the most helpful

Thank you Bigberthal.
Although you might not like my post after youve read it. But I could have given more context. on reflection. My son has helped more than I could have imagined. This has been one of the blessings of luttle Arthur s birth. Have a great day

Very kind of you to post back. Mum of madboys and Redhead 56. My lovely partner is advising me to co.e off. Lets see... Have a great day.

ThespiGran dont leave. I didn't see your posting and any way I'm not an expert on breast feeding - didn't do it for my daughter. Gransnet can be a variable experience. You will find when you get to know some of the names the way certain people always respond and just avoid what they say - like walking past someone you don't like on the street. Others are lovely and you stay and have a nice chat with them. Like me.

I have found throughout my life that advice given which I responded badly to was often looking back the best advice.

You are feeling sensitive too Thespigran. It is a special time for you too and you want everything to be as perfect as possible for your grandchild. Some posters are more forthright but everyone is trying to help. Don't take more abrupt comments to heart. Take away the comments you find helpful. Stick with us - on the whole we are a caring bunch!

Don’t be put off by some of the responses that will seem a bit sharp others are more tolerable to read. Its mixed views isn’t it and often they are posters gut reactions to a situation put forward by the OP.
It’s a good idea to read the responses and take note of the advice from the ones that suit you. It’s what I did when I first came on here seven years ago.