Mistake of reading comments on Granset.

However there are so many more kindhearted and tactful gransnetters than not so I stayed.
This is true Faye.

Thespigran
As you clearly said ' its the tone of them' referring to some of the comments - I felt exactly the same about several replies to some of my first posts on here.
However there are so many more kindhearted and tactful gransnetters than not so I stayed.
Some of the most regular commentators on here are more concerned with voicing their own opinions than trying to understand anybody else.
Congratulations on the birth of your grandson and enjoy him 💐

I think the "Activists" comment above is in regard to political threads, and one can expect some quite tough comments there that will never agree with an O/P.

Otherwise having been on other forums, I can say gransnet is pretty polite and mild.

One tends to respond differently if its in the "advice" "ask a gran" section.

If its under "relationships", then I expect people to bring their own experiences and feelings into it and it's not going to be comfortable. some will have had tough time themselves on an issue and feel strongly and it won't match an O/P's opinion. But as others have said, unwise to post if you just want agreement.

Caleo

Indeed Dickens! A scolding tone is inappropriate whether the poster seeks advice or consolation.

I agree.

BlueBelle

Thespigran this forum is a worldwide one although most grans on here are from Uk you are going to come across a very wide range of ages, social standing, and ways of doing things.

When you ask for help with a problem especially if it’s a bit controversial you WILL always get posts that don’t say what you want to hear and they are often the posts you need to take heed of

If you get 50 replies saying ‘there there of course you’re right’ it’s not going to give you any useful ideas how to deal with a situation is it ? however if you get replies that don’t agree with you ad you are upset threat to leave there no point in that either

The VAST majority of gransnetters are good kind helpful people with a lot of knowledge and advice and although you may have had one or two sharp replies the vast majority were giving good advice which just didn’t sit with how you wanted the replies to be

Hopefully you don’t leave but if you do I wish you lots of love and good times with your grand baby

I agree with Bluebelle

Hopefully you don’t leave but if you do I wish you lots of love and good times with your grand baby

I think many of the replies were looking at the problem from the perspective of the new mother, your DIL, and advising you not to interfere in her decision about breastfeeding because that could lead to future relationship problems and you don't want to risk not seeing your new grandson.

well, that was quite a dramatic entrance Thespi, and exit too.

I hope you are still on here. I have also been stung by some comments I have received on here. I came off it for a while but finally returned. Some of the regular posters really can be quite abrupt and brutal. You will get to know them and even start to look forward to seeing what ********** has to say. I am also trying to learn how to phrase my questions. Give it another go. Try to stay away from asking anything other than light hearted questions, and try to join in other conversations. And ALWAYS stay off politics and religion.

Indeed Dickens! A scolding tone is inappropriate whether the poster seeks advice or consolation.

I think it is the tone of some of the responses rather than the 'advice' that has upset the OP.

I can often take advice that contradicts my impulse, when it's constructive and given in a helpful way.

I didn't read all of the responses but, when someone (for example) says something like, "none of your business" and just leaves it at that - well, it's hardly 'helpful' is it?

It can be difficult to be certain if a poster who seeks help from grans wants practical advice or soothing and calming. May be we should ask the poster which it is she wants before offering one or the other.

Thespigran this forum is a worldwide one although most grans on here are from Uk you are going to come across a very wide range of ages, social standing, and ways of doing things.

When you ask for help with a problem especially if it’s a bit controversial you WILL always get posts that don’t say what you want to hear and they are often the posts you need to take heed of

If you get 50 replies saying ‘there there of course you’re right’ it’s not going to give you any useful ideas how to deal with a situation is it ? however if you get replies that don’t agree with you ad you are upset threat to leave there no point in that either

The VAST majority of gransnetters are good kind helpful people with a lot of knowledge and advice and although you may have had one or two sharp replies the vast majority were giving good advice which just didn’t sit with how you wanted the replies to be

Hopefully you don’t leave but if you do I wish you lots of love and good times with your grand baby

fancythat

Crumbs.
I have only been here a few weeks myself.
And I havent seen the original thread I dont think.

Is this counted as a thread about a thread? Or does that not matter on GN?

I partly came on here because on the whole, this place seems tamer and calmer than other social media forums. Which is what I was craving and prefer.

This thread is seeming to expose some snippy answers from some GNs?

Had a brief look back. I think this is the third thread from this poster about this subject?

Katie59

Some responses are sharp but generally well meant and helpful don’t get put off, some replies are likely to be from activists, ignore those and go with the general trend of replies.

activists?
I am naive.

I think you will get different views on subjects, sometimes we post to get back up on what we have done or think . I personally think only the the mother has the right to choose whether to breast feed or not, if they don’t want to do it the babies do just as well on formula. If I had wanted advice I would have asked for it. That’s why these forums are so helpful.

Crumbs.
I have only been here a few weeks myself.
And I havent seen the original thread I dont think.

Is this counted as a thread about a thread? Or does that not matter on GN?

I partly came on here because on the whole, this place seems tamer and calmer than other social media forums. Which is what I was craving and prefer.

This thread is seeming to expose some snippy answers from some GNs?

When you post on a public forum you will have many replies from all sorts of people with varying personalities, surely you didn’t expect everyone would have the same opinion as yourself ! Good job you didn’t post on mumsnet now there’s an eye opener. I thought you wanted some advice ,

You just did not like what was said and many told the truth = It is absolutely nothing to do with you.
I think you wanted to hear something different
Don't ask on Gransnet if you can't take the replies

Sago

I didn’t comment on the breast feeding thread because my NY resolution is to be kinder😬.
Why do people post and not expect a variety of opinions?

A good summing up Sago. Perhaps some want reinforcement of their own views and when they are not forthcoming they are shocked and upset.
What a good resolution, considering the comments you got New Year 2022

🤣

VioletSky

When I've had enough of gransnet, I just comment more to be annoying

😂

There seems little point in asking a question of many different people if you aren’t prepared to consider all the answers, and then proceed to be upset by anyone not giving the desired response, even couched politely.

VioletSky

When I've had enough of gransnet, I just comment more to be annoying

That isn’t very sensible

Doodledog

ThespiGran

Ive had enough of Gransnet. Im off.

You might be happier here, OP

www.reinforcemyprejudices.com

Nobody will disagree with you there.

Many would.

Anyone who lacks introspection, wants to blame their child's spouse instead of listening, may could do well never being disagreed with.

Don’t leave ThespiGran. I remember the thread re breastfeeding. People do give their opinions, some of which may not be exactly what you were expecting. But everyone is honest and mean well. Hope to see you posting again. I have had great support here and also the odd reprimand. But that reflects real life. I love it here 😘

Quokka

It’s a real eye opener for social media virgins isn’t it? Every forum (bar one that I use) has their share of critical voices. As others have said pay no attention and go with those who offer support.

But what's the point of only reading the replies which agree with you? Surely anyone posting a query is asking to hear all opinions, all points of view, not just become a member of an echo chamber? You posted a question, you were given many answers, some of which you didn't like, some of which didn't tell you that you and your son are completely right to criticise your DiL behind her back..........