Rights when in a relationship but not married/living together

Your sister has no rights at all in this situation. Of course his children will inherit. It seems obvious to me this man has made it clear what he wants. Your sister must either accept that or back out of the relationship.

OP what other posters say, she has no say in anything and is not the next of kin, so won’t be able to make any funeral plans for him in the future or inherit all his goods and money.He could make a will that includes a bequest for her if he wanted to.

GagaJo

Been there. My bloke's children did everything they could to get rid of me. I backed right off and now he is older, lonely and sees those children rarely. I feel sorry for him, but am not getting involved (other than a superficial, part-time relationship) again. He should have taken a stand years ago, didn't, and therefore will have to bear the consequences.

Silly old men. They should appreciate a good thing when they see it.

That clears something up for me GagaJo as I read your post that you had 1/3rd of a man! I wondered if he had no legs😄

I’m sorry but sadly that’s how it is When my brother died very suddenly he’d been living with his partner for about two years they weren’t married although she said they’d secretly got engaged. She told me that she was going to get all she could (for his sons) I told her that that wouldn’t be possible as our elderly mother with dementia was next of kin and I had power of attorney for my mum, followed by his sons.

She wasn’t happy with this but it’s the law. They lived in a rented house in his name and shortly after his funeral they were all given notice to leave by the landlord, very unpleasant for them all but they weren’t on the tenancy agreement - she had her own house and was able to move back into it.

Keep her own independence he’s not going to change

I would just add to that, do your best to make sure she keeps her own home and money.

Monica, IMO you've hit the nail on the head there. Exactly right.

Sadly, as she knows,she has no rights and will be entirely dependent on the good will of his children, unless she can persuade him to include her in his will and specify that she can be included in funeral arrangements.

I agree with Hithere your sister and her friend have totally different expectations of the relationship. Unless they can find some common ground this is not going to work.

Your sister and her bf are not compatible

She should be thinking whether this relationship is good for her and what pros ot brings to her life, short and long term

Debbi58

My sister has bern with a man like this for 20 years , she did move in with him a couple of years ago. On the understanding that when he dies, she will need to move out and his adult children will have the house . She's financially independent and has her own house, she rents out. They don't combine money or anything, it seems to suit them both though

The thing about this though, which was my position, is that to be required to immediately move out upon his death, while grieving, would be very hard. A grace period would need to be worked in. 6 months maybe?

Can I ask, why didn't your sister tell his children he collapsed and was in hospital?
My thoughts too Violet
...and Iam

The problem is my sister will never back off or not get involved, she is totally smitten with him and would do anything for him.

In which case all that can be said is that she has been warned and all you can do is stand by ready to support her, when the whole thing breaks down.

As others have said, and as you know, your sister is a friend of this man, and no more, despite how she feels, and he seems to have made it quite clear how he wants the relationship to be. The only thing I could suggest is that your sister explains her concerns regarding the man's health and the likelihood or otherwise of his children informing her of anything that happens. Maybe he could write to his children, tell them that there is no change to his will etc., but that he would like your sister to be informed/actively involved in his future?

I'm a recently widowed guy and although it's too soon to think about a new relationship (I still feel married), I do wonder what form any new relationship might take.
My legal affairs are in order with full POAs for health and finance plus a will. My kids get everything; any decisions to be taken on my behalf are sorted.
At 73, I'm in the last part of my life and would be concerned what I could offer in a new relationship; not a lot, I fear.
Being friends is best. It is sad that your sister's commitment is so commendable but unhappily insecure

My sister has bern with a man like this for 20 years , she did move in with him a couple of years ago. On the understanding that when he dies, she will need to move out and his adult children will have the house . She's financially independent and has her own house, she rents out. They don't combine money or anything, it seems to suit them both though

This man doesn’t sound like he’s active in his relationships. I’d run a mile

Why didn’t he tell his children? Why could several weeks go by without them being in touch with their father

TheNightShift - I don’t quite understand why your sister would concern herself with her bloke’s will, but I absolutely get why she would be bothered to be excluded from his healthcare. Her only recourse would be to ask him to give her POA for his healthcare. As this is completely separate from his finances I can’t see why it might be a problem for her to broach this with him, citing his previous illness as an example of why she wants this formalised.

I recently had a friend who was terminally ill and I was very fortunate that his family accepted that our relationship (forged over 20+ years) was such that I was best placed to care for him during his final weeks. It would have been awful to be fighting over that as he was dying. 😱

Yet still today you hear a woman describing herself as a common law wife. When will everyone understand it’s totally meaningless?

Your sister will have NO legal rights to anything. Her man's children are his next of kin, and so will be entitled to all he owns, all his money, and they will have the say in his funeral/house, etc

I watch Judge Judy who often says there’s no such state as ‘nearly married’ or just ‘playing house’, regarding laws and rights. In this Country, people say ‘common law’ but that’s just a figure of speech and means nothing.
Brutal, but very true.

TheNightShift

@JaneJudge the issue if he is ill is the main thing. When he was so poorly last year she was with him when she collapsed so she was involved from the start. His children do not live near and they were unaware he was in hospital until he was much better, several weeks later. My sister's worry is that if they do start to get involved with their father again - perhaps as his condition worsens the children will swoop in and take over.

Can I ask, why didn't your sister tell his children he collapsed and was in hospital?

TheNightShift

@GagaJo I am glad you said that, thank you. The problem is my sister will never back off or not get involved, she is totally smitten with him and would do anything for him.

I was too. But eventually I realised I was the only one unhappy in the situation, and therefore that I was the only one who could change my position. So I did. I still think it's sad. I adored him, but...

I'm afraid that's just not the type of committed relationship he wants.

He wants to keep their homes and finances seperate.

He wants his children as his primary next of kin and beneficiaries of his will.

Your sister is a girlfriend and he does not want to move to the next phase.

He is perfectly reasonable for what he wants from the relationship and sister needs to decide if she is OK with that or if she wants more, more than the relationship she currently has.

Aside from any financial matters, she will have no next-of-kin rights as regards care or treatment in illness, or as to arrangements if he dies. As I understand the OP, these are the rights her sister is concerned about.