Advice needed its my Bro and Sis Inlaw

I agree your best course of action is to avoid seeming him but if you have to meet with him try to have some clever put downs ready.

I have a friend who always seems to have great come backs against rude people, some I have heard are
Jealousy is a disease hope you get well soon
Are you normally this obnoxious or did you take classes
You have your entire life to be an idiot why not take a day off
Being a dick to me won't make yours bigger

Sounds as if your husband knows what his brother is like and has always taken the line of least resistance just to brush along with 'family'. Is your husband a very easy going person and have you always had to wear the trousers in the relationship i.e. sort out difficult situations etc? This may be the only way he knows how and also part of his personality. Secondly, your Bil and Sil are really not worth socialising with. I take it from your post that you are the other side of the pond. I get the impression that at the US is so large visiting relatives and friends takes days and people stay overnight. This does not contribute to the situation. Also, from reading your post, and quite understandably so, you are taking a lot of the 'detail' on board, which long term is not healthy for you. It is good that you stand up for yourself but with people like your relatives you will never break through their impenetrable wall as that is what they are like and WILL nor change so you have to respond differently. I would start by having a firm conversation with my husband about the situation and how it makes you feel. If he does the man thing and disappears or doesn't respond tell him in no uncertain terms that you will arrange your own visits to your children, make your own Christmas and organise with your own relatives what gives you joy. It will then be up to him to take action. You can't go on like this and why should you? People like those you describe simply are not worth giving the time of day. When my parents died I offloaded a whole load of drama relatives and my life was free for the first time in 60 years. It surprised me how quickly they disappeared as people often don't really care about us as much as we care. Good luck and stay strong!

These people are vile! Go NC.

I agree with others avoid them and their company and expect more from your husband he should be supporting you and telling them to shut up if they are bothering you
Don’t put yourself in the situation stay away tell you husband he can visit when he wants but you won’t be going any more

They clearly enjoy tormenting you, so I simply wouldn’t be around them again. And I’d be absolutely furious with your husband for sitting there while his brother bullied his wife!

I have sympathy for you and can see how upset you are, especially now they have moved so near to you. You need to avoid this pair and their bullying behaviour. I too feel it is your husbands role to stand up for you and not allow you to be treated this way. Perhaps he can have a word privately with his brother, although that will only work if they are reasonable people. If they aren't then I certainly wouldn't be looking after their key, meeting up for Christmas etc. Its time for your husband to put you first in my opinion.

Why do you let your husband treat you like this?

He doesn't stand up for you!

Why do you put yourself in these uncomfortable situations?

Please say no, tell your dh to treat you better and stop contact with those people

I think leaving the situation isn't enough and you would be fine from now to stop entering it.

make your own arrangements if you wish to see MIL, at her house, when they are not there.
if they turn up, leave immediately.
you seem to letting them push you around.
and your husband is doing nothing to protect you.

well MN would say you have a DH problem.
why is he continuing to put you in situations where you are insulted by his brother.
silence means assent.
why were you looking after their house for them.
why have anything to do with them at all.
just go NC. and stick to it.