Gransnet forums


Divorce. Solicitor suggestions

(8 Posts)
Motherof2pearls Wed 08-Mar-23 12:27:58


My husband walked out on me in the new year for his mistress.
We have been married for 32 years and been together for 40.

I feel shell shocked and devastated, but divorce we must.

My question is: can anyone recommend a really good solicitor?
I live in the Cambridge area, but I know these days you don'\t have to have local solicitors.

My husband is very clever and runs rings around me. So I need a clever solicitor who can stand up. to a narcissistic bully.

This is a high net worth divorce. My husband has already siphoned off accounts and money. He lives with his mistress and told me he is paying off her mortgage.

He just says "its my money and I'll do what I want with it!"

We have two adult children, 23 and 25. We are both 61.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and thanks in advance if you are able to advise.

Damdee Wed 08-Mar-23 12:34:27

I can't help with a solicitor but if you know your husband has siphoned off money then you will need to tell him/her all you know. In a divorce one has to make full disclosure of all assets so he can't get away with it. If you have access to financial info make sure you take note of it. Having been divorced twice you have my sympathy, but you will get through it. Good luck!

LRavenscroft Wed 08-Mar-23 12:37:09

I've not been in this situation but have worked in an office that dealt with it. Stick to you guns, don't be swayed, keep notes and diaries of EVERYTHING, and from other threads on GN make sure you don't end up looking after him if and when he needs it. I am truly sorry you are in this situation as no one deserves to be treated so badly but be strong, stand firm and above all look him right in the eye. Good luck with everything.

M0nica Wed 08-Mar-23 13:38:21

Contact the Law Society and get their list of fully qualified divorce solicitors.

Go online and look at reviews. The really good oens are really expensive.

Any competent divorce solicitor will be very used to spouses that are manipulatie, narcisstic bullies - and that is just some of their clients.

More seriously, I think the problems you raise are par for the course for most divorce lawyers.

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 08-Mar-23 13:43:08

Some are much more aggressive than others. I would suggest you look at London firms which deal only with divorce, rather than provincial firms. You will need deep pockets.

Norah Wed 08-Mar-23 14:05:27

I'd begin by finding the best divorce solicitor, probably in a city (not village).

I'd take pictures of everything I could find, all possessions, all paperwork, all old records, texts of conversations with him on this topic. I'd email him and ask questions - answers in print.

I'd take on the good advice given by posters here.

Norah Wed 08-Mar-23 14:16:23


Some are much more aggressive than others. I would suggest you look at London firms which deal only with divorce, rather than provincial firms. You will need deep pockets.

Brother is solicitor. He doesn't deal in divorce, says it's rather nasty business. Has advised a couple of friends to not struggle/ argue with their spouse, remain silent and above the conflict. Solicitor is your best friend now.

Never show your cards; allow spouse to be the a--e.

Georgesgran Wed 08-Mar-23 14:31:45

Same thing happened with my friend down Country. Her ex’s infamy went before him - local solicitors wouldn’t touch their divorce with a barge pole! They ended up using London based law firms which cost a lot of money, but a family business and millions were at stake. She’d kept records of his dealings and said she’d be prepared to go to prison, should she be forced to reveal them.