husband doesn't like my baking...

I know this feels horrible to you. But it is not a healthy hobby - and you are getting a bit too invested in earning his praise - not good for you. Learn one or two easy things you really like - and move on. (Google 'feeder' Yiddish Momma etc and you will see the emotional side of all this - he will resent pressure to eat). Join anything - gardening club, WI, etc etc - there will be opportunities to bake for their events and fund raisers so you can use your home hobby in support of learning, doing another enjoyable thing, making friends, widening social circle. It's a bad time of year - Spring soon, hope you feel happier soon.

Spabbygirl - it took twenty five years into our marriage to fully realise DH preferred shop bought cakes and ready meals. I’ve got over the hurt, given away or thrown the cake tins, casserole dishes and pans, and leave him to buy what he fancies these days. Frankly I think I was a fool for not realising and hanging up the pinny sooner. I had had plenty of good responses to my cooking in the past to know I was at least a half decent cook. I take a ‘been there, done that’, I’d rather spend time on other things that I enjoy.

Seems more to do with only having baking and husband in life. Join a group or go on cookery baking course. We all
Like different foods and it should y really bother you that much that husband doesnt like some of your baking. Get enjoyment out of it .

*experiment together

Bake and enjoy tucking in to the things YOU like. Let your unappreciative partner bake his own preferences, the results may surprise you both, or he might realise baking is neither instinctive nor easy for everyone. He can read a recipe just as you can, he can shop for the ingredients, let him get on with it.

And then you can have fun tweaking recipes and experience together!

I'd just make things for you and change the recipe so he'd enjoy them.

I agree with Callistemon21, try some different recipes such as soda bread, it should suit both of you. Maybe he doesn't have such a sweet tooth as you? In that case simple things like apple cake are not so sweet, or an old fashioned boiled fruit cake which just can't go wrong. Much of the sweetness from these comes from the fruit and you can use different types, some less sweet than others. Maybe rolls to have with soup at lunch time, or with cheese? They'd take up less room in your freezer if you make a batch. There are so many varieties using oats, partly brown flour, or adding onions or cheese.

Honestly I'd give up on the wholemeal or wholewheat flour, it's an acquired taste and few of us really like it, even if we go through the motions.

As regards your IBS, you can add things like psyllium husk which don't drastically change the texture, or make some sort of oat bread. But whatever you make, be sure to follow a proper recipe as any bread can be very sticky and solid if you get the balance wrong. And never leave out the sugar as it is what makes the yeast work.

I wonder if you could either give the products to neighbours or even a food bank, seems a shame to waste home cooked cakes bread ect, or even the homeless, don’t be disheartened not everyone has the same taste just because hubby doesn’t like it, doesn’t mean to say others won’t big hugs

There's nothing worse than a fussy man, so important he must have exactly what he wants/likes.

LuckyFour you'd love my husband then with his strict Slimming World regime!
He's taken over our cooking and shopping, but he only buys the things he wants.
I don't say anything though as he has lost six stones since July 2021.

Every so often I rebel and have a carb- and fat-fest day while he's at work 😋 🤣

As others have said, why not try a course? I did one with our local education authority last year. It was a 10 week ‘hobby bread course’ and it was brilliant. There are also other catering courses on offer. And might there be opportunities to donate your bakes or to find raise for a charity? Baking can be a very satisfying and soothing hobby. Keep trying different things and good luck for the future.

Nowadays I never use wholemeal flour for baking, always white flour and my baking is usually liked!

Biggest red flag in your post is IBS. Getting healthy is a priority especially in retirement if you want to enjoy the last chapter of life. I've been a retired nurse going on 5 years and have painfully watched lots of retirees go through h*ll because they didn't understand why proper nutrition was so important. Have you seen Forks Over Knives? Learning how food heals has been my pursuit for decades. You could join a support group on fb with FOK or Dr. John McDougall and learn about healthy eating. I too learned to make sourdough bread but it's 100% freshly ground rye (easier to digest than white or wheat) and add olives, corn, pickled red onion and jalapeno, rosemary, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds and caraway. I enjoy the process tremendously but as it is just the two of us, I bake mostly demi-baguettes and freeze them with 4 oz jars of freshly made guacamole for hubby's lunchbox. It makes great veggie pizzas or savory galettes loaded with veggies. I love learning about foods from other countries and experiment in the kitchen all the time with a fusion of plant based cuisines. I started a large garden with lots of herbs, 3 small greenhouses and even though I'm a Qigong and Flow Artist, I am learning Calligraphy and Tai Chi just to learn something new. Health is Wealth. A good start is here. www.drmcdougall.com/education/ I hope you find joy in everything you do!

"One pot of luxury preserve from the microwave" by Sonia Allison

Thank you for this recommendation Amalegra, I've just ordered it from Amazon.

It's the same author who did the "Dairy Book of Home Cookery" which I had many years ago.

Dont bake!! Simple

However I wonder how much some of us feel validated as women by our baking or cookery skills? It’s a bit of a throwback to the days of “homemakers”, “wives and mothers”
A man is no less of a man because he lacks DIY or lawn mowing skills, so why should we feel demeaned if our cooking or baking isn’t appreciated?
Just asking - because we do!

Try not to take it personally spabbygirl. My husband hates home
baking full stop, says you can taste the eggs in it 🤷🏻‍♀️. The really funny thing though, is his favourite thing is eggs, cooked anyway just not in my baking. I just joke that if it’s in a wrapper and has a sell by date he’ll eat it. Though I do make exceedingly good cakes, excuse the pun, he buys those shop bought ones which I think just taste too sweet and all the same. Everybody’s different.

IMO the best thing about baking is the smell of it in the oven! I used to bake but when the children left home it dropped off and … part of the problem was because it was there, we ate it. I’d leave it to either baking just for yourself and making your husband a lemon drizzle cake for his birthday, or cutting it out altogether. Get another hobby fixed for yourself before he retires, something outside the home! PS I think you were over reacting and that the comments haven’t been too harsh … they could have been much worse 😊

Would you rather he force feed himself and say these are wonderful 🤣🤣

I no longer have others to cook for and to be honest am just too wobbly/elderly for much baking. However, I always pop left over bread in my neighbours big chest freezer he keeps in his shed, and when in the right mood/health, make bread pudding. It’s a great favourite with friends and neighbours. And me. I’ve had to give my recipe to the Chinese couple who run the local chippie. They say it’s a better seller than the pickled eggs I told them where to get the pickling vinegar for, that Brits prefer. I have free fish and chips whenever I fancy them. Not to be missed now that they are so expensive.

It’s easy to feel hurt when you’ve worked hard to make something and then your other half doesn’t like it. It’s not personal though so maybe best just not spending your time doing it. I’m good at baking and would love to bake more/different things but it would be mainly me that would end up eating it and I would be like the side of a house! If you practice and get better bake for a local fete cake sale or old people maybe 🤔

I agree some of the remarks have been on the harsh side, so please don't give up bakng because of them.

Actually, I think you are overreacting a bit - your husband may not care for everything you make, and I got the feeling that you are using wholemeal and cutting back on sugar because of your own health, not his.

If this is the case, I suggest you bake things for yourself in accordance with what you know you should and shouldn't bake, and bake things for him that he likes.

My mother suffered from multiple allergies and in the latter years of her life forced as us to eat what she could digest when we visited my parents, wash our clothes beforehand in soap powder she could be near etc. etc.

She complained endlessly that my father "showed no consideration for her health problems." In fact he did, going along with eradicating chemicals she was allergic to, eating without complaint or comment dishes she could digest, and never asking for favourites of his own that had disappeared from the menus because his wife no longer could eat them.

The only point where he persisted in having his way was continuing to smoke a few cigarettes a day and very occasionally drink a small glass of whisky before going to his bed.

I think we all need to take care that we do not let the health issues that may crop up here in later life dominate our lives and the lives of those we love.

Yes overreacting! If he doesnt like wholemeal or sourdough dont give him it! Have that yourself if you like it- make him a lemon drizzle or whatever he does like but if he mustnt have too much sugar then do it only now & then.or try the half& half sugar.see if he notices the change in that.?if he does & dislikes taste just go back to normal sugar but bake less often for him or find other more natural ways to sweeten things- fruit is good and adds its own sugars.Or some chocolate in or whatever.Or make savoury dishes to enjoy.😋

Maybe you could agree on whát you make? Maybe your husband would just lóve homemade granola bars for breakfast or as a snack to take to work! Classical teatime biscuits, cake or scones might work too! Just make a regular alount of what you both like and eat it in moderation!

It seems to me that there are 2 strands to your problem, the first of which has been largely ignored by some harsh comments. You aren't just baking for your husband but are also baking for your medical complaint. For that reason, I wouldn't give up altogether but wouldn't expect my husband to eat the baking. I'd bake for me but make him the odd lemon drizzle cake. That automatically solves your problem of him disliking what you bake too which is the second strand!

I've been there. Years ago, I decided that we'd eat more healthily. We kept our own chickens for eggs, reared them for our roasts, I bought a yogurt maker and bread maker so we could have our own produced food. I was in my element until my teenage son started asking for shop bought bread, etc and my husband was silent on the matter apart from the odd moan about messy chickens. I realised that it was my dream, not theirs and although I was disappointed, life went on and I could find other ways of making a difference.

notgran

Let's look at this another way. Your husband has retired before you and has taken up the hobby of woodwork. He makes shelves that aren't straight, a garden table that is ugly and wonky, a laptop holder that doesn't... These items are about the home and are basically waiting to be chucked out when it finally dawns on your husband you don't appreciate his efforts. A friend had a real struggle going through just this and trying to not upset her husband by telling him his efforts are just not appreciated. Find your self another hobby that doesn't need your husband's opinion, for you to enjoy it.

Absolutely notgran: I can't stand cooking (even though my 'baking' is actually quite good....going by the few times I have made pies/cakes/pastries etc in recent years and when husband and family can squeeze something out of me it doesn't hang around for long)! My husband is a great cook....he likes cooking....probably why we are still married . spabbygirl, take up something that you would like to do that is fulfilling and enjoyable and not necessarily trying to please your husband...sounds like what you are doing at the moment is torture!