husband doesn't like my baking...

I think there are a variety of things that are rather muddled up here. Retiring yourself, change in your way of life which you are not sure of, not sure where you are going. Your dream of making great food made more difficult by your health needs and husbands lack of interest. So might I suggest you have a little holiday? Either a real one of a few days away, doing something you enjoy, visit gardens go to the coast or whatever. While you are away you might notice what you are enjoying and think of ways they might carry on when you get home , so the marvellous NGS yellow garden book is out now and you can go and visit many wonderful gardens and support great charities. Besides seeing the gardens and getting great ideas for your own garden you may buy some wonderful plants and enjoy their refreshments. So you might choose to join a local garden club or just enjoy your own garden. Loads of other things, so as others have said U3a worth looking at , think back to what you had wished you could do when you were bringing up your children and had no time to try things out. So then the baking can still be a pleasure and you might see a cooking weekend to make something you have never tried , or go painting or whatever occurs to you. Then the cooking does not loom so large and you will be able to work out what works for y ou both in a calmer way. Take turns in cooking and see what he provides and if it is all wonderful? Eventually something that really matters to you will blossom and you will enjoy your own thing . Have a go at a few things and try them out this summer so you will not be thinking cooking all the time. You are worthwhile and valuable for yourself, not for what you do but who you are. Hope you find your pleasure soon but dont try too hard , just let it arrive. Wish you all the best

Why don't you take a look at BBC good food, read the reviews for tips and advice before baking/cooking.

I am tired of people who are fussy about their food. We always ate everything at home and my family are the same. We eat what's put in front of us and like it. There's nothing worse than a fussy man, so important he must have exactly what he wants/likes. Bake what you like and let him eat it or not, you're doing your best and he should be grateful.

My husband loves Lemon Drizzle cake and wolfs it down. One day I was out of flour but I had a packet of supermarket sponge mix in the cupboard which was near it"s sell by date. Mixed it up in 2 minutes added good dose of Sicilian Lemon essence and baked it. It was in his opinion the best I had ever made and he still asks for it! Yes I said I think I've cracked the recipe! I know about all the preservatives etc but it keeps him happy and the sponge mix makes about 3 cakes for 99p (plus eggs) & essence and they freeze beautifully. What not to love. I hide the packet mix at the back of the cupboard. Just watched Calendar Girls ....shall I enter my cakes in a cake competition? He He!

Get him interested to bake if you can. He might enjoy it, also you might enjoy the products too. Maybe try more savory things with the brown flour ❤️❤️❤️

Don’t give up your baking !! I too have taken up baking since recently retired and have been lucky enough to have a new kitchen with a lovely new oven - I’m rubbish at most things !! Grown up kids at home just laugh and try it all anyway giving me feedback, some of which is useful, some funny and some just plain rude !! Husband just raises eyes to heaven hahaha I just don’t care as it gives me pleasure and I’m not giving up !!! I worked full time for over 40 years, brought up four kids, did most of housework (although husband very hands on Daddy) and then care for my Mum til she passed last year - thanks to my parents prudent saving my inheritance allowed to retire two years early and have a lovely new kitchen - if you want to bake, damn well bake !! 😂😂😂😂😂

spabby girl - you are totally over-reacting. Your husband doesn't like your baking, it's not the end of the world. If you want to bake for yourself in smaller quantities then do so and freeze some of what you make so that you get to eat what you want and he goes without bread and cakes unless he visits a 'professional' baker's shop and buys them for himself. With the spare time you will accumulate by spending fewer hours baking, take up another retirement hobby - maybe something in the garden or some voluntary work elsewhere. Please do not make your husband the centre of your universe now that you're retired. If he doesn't like what you bake/cook let him try.

Why sourdough? Bread with yeast tastes better IMO. I’ve had phases with wholemeal but I’ve only really enjoyed it in carrot cake. I’d cut recipes in half using ingredients your husband likes and another recipe that suits your IBS, or freeze what you have made to bring it out in small portions. You’ll get more practise into the bargain.
I have a little sympathy for your DH though because my OH loves to cook and is always looking up new recipes but he doesn’t have an instinct of what goes together or to adapt if things are not right. He won’t reduce ingredients so that only one porion is wasted so he’s eating the dish for days and I’m having soup!

I feel for you and I wonder whether there is a little more to this? I think we often show our love by cooking/baking nice things for our loved ones. Perhaps this feels like a rejection of you and your love. I also agree with someone who said retirement can be a difficult time. It takes time for us to re-evaluate ourselves and reading your post, it really felt like your self esteem is somehow tied up with your baking and wish to create tasty things for your husband. This isn't so much about you "overreacting" but rather not thinking about what is behind your reaction. If your husband doesn't know how you are feeling and how important these baked offerings seem to be to you, then just telling you he doesn't like certain things would seem like a perfectly reasonable thing to tell you. You mentioned that you are feeling low. Perhaps talking to someone might help? You are far more than your baking and there feels to be more underlying this to me. I hope you don't mind my saying that. Sending hugs and I hope you can start to view this differently. Your husband is not rejecting you but rather simply stating his taste.

I like to bake and nothing is ever thrown out, except for the flops I occasionally have! As for sourdough bread, I’ve given up with that. I painstakingly made the starter and made the bread and it was a flop. Not one to give up easily I made it a few more times and it was no better so I gave it up. I even tried the sourdough kits. They were flops too. I can make normal bread ok and when I do I always use half strong bread flour and half whole meal flour in my recipe. Never had a flop. Look at Paul Hollywood recipes for your bread and don’t give up trying. If you enjoy baking carry on but do easy things first. Try looking in the Bero book. Simple tasty recipes. Good luck spabbygirl 🙂

I think what's happened here is that before you retired you probably has this picture in your head - happy days spent baking and a smiling husband drooling over your offerings. The reality is the opposite and you feel upset. Baking is a science. I love baking and have been doing it for 50 years and even now get some failures. If you really want to bake then, as others have said, do a course but there's only so much cake and bread that 2 of you can eat so maybe take up another hobby or join a local women's group like the WI and make your world bigger. And as for making perfect pictures in your head that don't turn out I used to do it all the time but I'm 'cured' now and far happier.

Why don’t you take up preserving? I know it’s not as fashionable as baking but the results are great! As well as the usual jams and chutneys, there are fermented recipes (SO good for your gut), pickles, low sugar preserves, American style fruit butters etc. They make lovely gifts or donations to fund raisers too! A great book for those who don’t want to make huge batches is ‘One pot of luxury preserve from the microwave’ by Sonia Allison. I live alone but like to still keep my hand in and often give them as gifts. Very satisfying to see a few pots lined up! I’m not saying it’s cheaper than shop bought (unless you have access to your own produce) but the results are infinitely better and you can create your own recipes when you’ve mastered the basics. Lots of good books on the market. Your husband might enjoy them more too!.

I understand how you feel but you can learn another hobbie. I was always taught to use my time wisely. I like baking but as i am on my own now it's not something I do very often. I knit , i sew, for a while I made greetings cards. Find something else you enjoy doing to keep you occupied. Volunteer for WVS or something you think you would like doing. Your other half might be happy to help you with suggestions.

Callistemon21

spabbygirl

thanks all!!! It can easily get into a power struggle, I think for the first 8 yrs or so her ate anything I gave him & its only since my sourdough attempts he's really taken objection. I will stick with Mary B & DS say, I've done some of theirs before & they've been great. Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall swops out some of the flour for wholemeal & cuts the sugar & you have best of both worlds then. I will find some people who understand the need for healthy food

Grated carrots in carrot cake add sweetness, banana cake needs less added refined sugar, Dorset apple cake is delicious.

If you sift the whole wheat flour, removing the bran, your DH might not notice. You could add some wheatgerm too. Add an extra teaspoon or two of baking powder might lighten it and make the cake rise a bit more.

Don't turn it into a battle, find a compromise.
If you're enjoying baking, experiment.

Brilliant news Callistemon21, eating less white flour is good for us all, but especially if you have digestive issues. I know my tummy troubles are not just a dr's whim, every now and again I get crippling tummy aches, I can't stand up when I get them, its different than IBS and it makes sense to manage it as far as possible without antibiotics, so far the only treatment that helps me. I will do that, I mill my own flour using a mock mill so I have control over the level of bran in it, though sifting is probably still a good idea. Thanks so much.

spabbygirl

thanks all!!! It can easily get into a power struggle, I think for the first 8 yrs or so her ate anything I gave him & its only since my sourdough attempts he's really taken objection. I will stick with Mary B & DS say, I've done some of theirs before & they've been great. Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall swops out some of the flour for wholemeal & cuts the sugar & you have best of both worlds then. I will find some people who understand the need for healthy food

Grated carrots in carrot cake add sweetness, banana cake needs less added refined sugar, Dorset apple cake is delicious.

If you sift the whole wheat flour, removing the bran, your DH might not notice. You could add some wheatgerm too. Add an extra teaspoon or two of baking powder might lighten it and make the cake rise a bit more.

Don't turn it into a battle, find a compromise.
If you're enjoying baking, experiment.

Art and French sound far more enjoyable and you'll be with lots of other people all learning together out of your house..holidays in France painting in lavender fields hey?

thanks all!!! It can easily get into a power struggle, I think for the first 8 yrs or so her ate anything I gave him & its only since my sourdough attempts he's really taken objection. I will stick with Mary B & DS say, I've done some of theirs before & they've been great. Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall swops out some of the flour for wholemeal & cuts the sugar & you have best of both worlds then. I will find some people who understand the need for healthy food

Please don't fret about this , if your DH doesn't like your baking - tough on him . Baking is not difficult, just do what Delia Smith says you can't go wrong! Or of course Mary Berry. Although Delia is my go to lady .

At some point, it becomes a power struggle so this is not about baking at all

Op

It is clear that you and your dh are not on the same page regarding healthy eating

No point in trying to convince him, he also has the right how he eats

So glad you are taking other hobbies that will make you happy

I've been baking for a very long time .
I'm 70 and I learnt to cook and bake from my grandma .
I watched her .
I learnt how to make shortcrust pastry and Sponge cakes by four or five .
She had an old fashioned cloth bound cookery book and I worked my way through it .
As I grew older I became more adventurous .

My advice :

If you enjoy baking - just continue and find another eater for your cakes !

Careful with tweaking recipes .

I'd stick with Mary Berry, maybe Margarite Patten (sp ?) and Mary Stewart .

My friends and I have all had disasters with Delia and certainly with Nigella .

Thanks for that everyone, and love those that bought a chuckle, especially the crocheting new clothes!!! I think he should be a bit more thankful, he also doesn't listen to me when I say I cook wholemeal stuff for health reasons and Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall has some fab recipes with part wholemeal in his book comfort food. So I explain over and over why I reduce sugar and swap some flour to wholemeal and he still asks why I don't always cook his favourite lemon drizzle! I do sometimes, he did it himself once! I think with me I'm better if I have a project and that was going to be mine, but I'm going to learn art & French next. I looked up u3a and it looks great! I'll get stuck into something else, that'll help! Thanks everso for your help, and if you see someone out in one of those grand crochet numbers, you'll know it'll be me having decided to take up crochet!!

why the concentration on baking.
if you want to do something involving cooking, what about nutritious savory food.
you could learn and expand your repertoire.
most baked items are empty calories, too much fat and sugar.
they are not necessary in a good diet.
i think it's wrong that there are so many tv programmes encouraging this obsession with cakes.

V3ra Just brilliant.

VickyB

Take comfort from this. I like to make my own (healthy veg filled) soups, my adult children who love my spiced parsnip one, have all asked for the recipe and now make it for themselves however my husband prefers tinned soup.

As a newly-wed I once spent the whole afternoon making cream of chicken soup from scratch.
My husband enjoyed it and as a compliment said it was,
"Just like the real thing, out of a tin."

(He is still my husband...)