Problems with DIL

Much as I disagree with the OP, I have a British friend married to a US serviceman. He's been back in the US for a year and 9 months. She's still in the UK waiting for her spousal visa.

The poster has certainly had a roasting.

I can’t believe there is a genuine problem with the visa. The dil doesn’t want to go to the US does she? She wants to stay in her own country.

Lol!

Still valid

Lol about the lids

The board has been dead lately, some traffic was needed

I was a service wife they looked after us wives very well I don’t believe this
And if I was your daughter in law I would definitely think not twice but three times before I let you near the children Who the heck do you think you are He also works 12 hour days so I would need to move in to look after them they are fine with their mum they don’t need you to look after them

I wouldn't send my lids for a holiday violetsky I hope you wouldn’t the jars would cry without their lids

Sorry, meant to quote mitzigem

biglouis

I can understand your DIL not wanting to live in Wisconsin as its bloody cold there!

Nether can I really, no one can be that needy and lacking self awareness.

Wow, surely this post is just for a reaction . Can’t believe it.

I worked for the Royal Navy Social Work department for 10 years based at Faslane. One of my nephews served in the RN and was seconded to the US Navy. I find it hard to believe that the US Navy is not facilitating the move for your son's wife and children as what you are describing is clearly a welfare matter and certainly something that the RN department I worked in would assist with. However there is a fear amongst some serving personnel that approaching the Social Work/Welfare Service may negatively affect their career. This was NEVER the case in my experience and family separation is likely to cause significant distress all round. I know the Australian Navy has a comprehensive welfare service too.

I can understand your DIL not wanting to live in Wisconsin as its bloody cold there!

I find this hard to believe, even after posters told you how needy you are, you still cannot see you are wrong.
You need to stop this and mind your own business. It's about the Mother, Father and children here, not you. I would not be surprised if she does not come over and it will be because of you. Back off now.

Whenever I read a thread about clingy grandparents Im glad tht I was never selfish enough to have children of my own. For many years my own grandmother had to take back seat in seeing me because my father resented her. And that was only visiting someone who lived a mile or two away.

The entitlement of some family members is beyond reason. Be careful or you will end up estranged from your grandchildren until they are mature enough to decide whether they want to see you.

I don’t believe what I’ve just read ! A very needy Mother/ Grandmother -Wisconsin I doubt you’ll get much sympathy here. Good luck !

She is their mother , you are not. The children belong with her. Why not spend your time and energy working to facilitate her coming over? Mind if I was her I might be having second thoughts about moving anywhere nearer you.

I wouldn't send my lids for a holiday, I'd be scared I wouldn't see them again

I would never allow my kids to move to a different country without me, no matter who was pressuring me to do so.

I don't believe this... nobody could think like this

If I were your dip, I for sure wouldn't move to the US

Wisconsin2000

My son is lonely and can't see his wife, so having the kids could be good for him. He also works 12 hour days so I would need to move in to look after them. Sadly, the military doesn't provide much help for foreign spouses and they have to apply for visas like every one else.

He can't care for them. She can. She is their mother.

This isn't a DiL problem. It's a MiL problem.

If you don't back right off, apology needed to your DiL too, you're risking ever having a relationship with your grandchildren.

Never in a million years would I have sent my two small children to live in another country without me.

Nor me!

Never in a million years would I have sent my two small children to live in another country without me. That would be cruel and very bad for them.

I would stop bringing this up if I were you.

Please be careful- you say
every time I mention the kids she ends the conversation.
This is obviously pushing her away.

If I was your daughter-in-law I would be nervous about bringing my children over in case I was put in an awkward position by your neediness.
I know you want to be more involved but I think it's important to put the children first.

Can your son request a transfer back to Germany if the visa can't be resolved?
That's what I would suggest - as you say, he is missing out on his children- and of course they are missing out too.

You mean having the kids in the US would be good for you, right?