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Dating after bereavement

(62 Posts)
VioletSky Wed 22-Mar-23 21:06:36

Maybe just see it as a compliment and move on for now

I have been with my husband 23 years and do not think I would be throwing myself in that pool again lol

Redhead56 Wed 22-Mar-23 21:05:30

It’s not disloyal you was a loyal wife for a long time. If you went for coffee with this friend would you anticipate it going further. We as a couple have a few long time divorced and lone male friends. I would go for a drink or meal with them if I was widowed. I wouldn’t be interested in taking it a step further.

Aggy21 Wed 22-Mar-23 21:04:45

Thanks violetsky- I just totally panicked. First date invitation in over 40 decades!

Aggy21 Wed 22-Mar-23 21:02:57

Sorry to hear that wyllow3. I think I’m too trusting. Good luck

VioletSky Wed 22-Mar-23 21:01:15

If you aren't ready you aren't ready... but there is nothing wrong with friends of the other sex of they are amenable

Wyllow3 Wed 22-Mar-23 21:00:12

Then you have made the right decision, for now. Perhaps it took the invitation to realise that, and you were right to say what you did.

I'm recently out of a very abusive marriage: there has been a lot of grief as well, as it wasn't all bad of course. I'd like to meet someone...I think....but I am very, very wary indeed and doubt my ability to make good decisions, as a lot was said and done that was false or a lie.

Aggy21 Wed 22-Mar-23 20:38:28

Feels too soon. Too disloyal. I’d worry that saying yes to coffee could lead to more invitations then possibly on to a relationship which I’m not ready for as yet

VioletSky Wed 22-Mar-23 20:35:26

I think the best relationships come from friendship, so maybe next time you could go as friends? See what happens?

Aggy21 Wed 22-Mar-23 20:34:47

It was definitely as a date

Patsy70 Wed 22-Mar-23 20:30:47

Aggy21. If you fancy going out for a coffee, drink with someone, don’t analyse it, just go. It doesn’t have to be a ‘deep’ relationship. It’s healthy to socialise with both sexes. Friendships are always welcome. 😊

Jackiest Wed 22-Mar-23 20:27:04

Did he ask you out for a coffee as a date or as a friend?

Aggy21 Wed 22-Mar-23 20:00:09

My dh passed away about 18 months ago. We’d been together since I was a teenager.
Recently a man asked me out for coffee. I was so taken aback! And turned him down, saying it was too soon for me. However, it got me thinking.. would I ever feel ready for a relationship? What would I be seeking to get from one? Could I ever imagine falling in love again? Looking at all the women I know who are divorced or widowed, very few of them have found anyone else, and most haven’t even tried. I don’t like to think that door is closed forever.
I’d love to hear from others about how things have worked out with a new relationship after bereavement