Do they say ‘Thank you ‘?

I was taught from an early age to say please/thank you, excuse me etc and I raised two boy's the same way.

If they receive a gift in person, their thanks are immediate and if sent something, they will call, text, email or send a letter....both are now in their 40's.

I think it goes further though...if they are visiting and I make tea/coffee for them, I'm thanked and I do likewise at their homes. However when visiting friends etc, it's something I rarely hear!

We only have one grandchild. When she was small, everyone got a thank you card. Now she is in her 20s, she thanks everyone either by phone or text.

I do think it's a shame when there isn't a thank you and understandably hurtful but it's up to your aunt and sister to tell your son that they're no longer sending gifts and why, if they want him to know.

My daughter and son in law insist that both boys say thank you (one is 4 and the other is 20 months). The 4 year old has beautiful manners and thanks me for his lunch, taking him out, gifts etc. The 20 month old now says 'ta' when given something. So I don't think it's a younger generation thing necessarily.

To be honest, it doesn’t bother me. Nice if it happens, but I don’t lose any sleep if it doesn’t. Once or twice, I’ve had a picture of something bought with a gift voucher, many months after.
DGS1 always thanks me for having him, but at 5, just words he’s been told to say?
I certainly wouldn’t stop gifting because of no thank-you messages/notes.

They don’t always say thank you but I don’t let it bother me now.

Broadening the discussion out a bit I think the last generation of parents were often very lax at teaching their children basic civilities like "please" "thank you" and "excuse me" when they received a small favour or wanted to ask for something. Im told that some younger people even find the use of these phrases demeaning.

This is not just "modern" behaviour. When I first came to Manchester back in the 1980s I was in a bookshop leafing through a book when a couple came up behind me. I did not notice them until the male said, in a sarcastic tone "Yes I will when this lady moves out of the way."

I rounded on them and told him in my "teacher voice" that this lady would move when he behaved like a gentleman and used words like please and excuse me. Followed by the enquiry "Did your parents not teach you any social skills." His mouth dropped open in surprise. His female companion then put in "Shes right you know. Sometimes you make me feel ashamed."

I felt sorry for her. If he behaved like that to a stranger I wonder how he treated her. If I was out with a man who behaved like that or was rude to serving staff it would be a massive red flag and I would dump him.

As a child I was made to write thank you letters. Nowadays I would probably just send an email. Young people who grow up not having learned the most basic social skills are not going to fare well in the workplace.

I was brought up to believe that a present wasn't yours until you had said 'thank you' for it, and tried to instill that ethos into my own children too.

It’s a problem. My grandchildren are all right, but my nephew and his wife are terrible. I send birthday presents to their two young children (age 3 and 6 now), and have never had so much as a thank you text or phone call. The children aren’t really to blame. They are too young to think of it themselves - perhaps the six year old might - but their parents should be teaching them to say thank-you for presents.

Also, when our own children were young, they knew that after visiting either GP’s for Sunday tea, they would say ‘thank you for having me’ when we left.

Never said by our GC though.

My own GC get money in with a birthday card which is put through their front door the day before. (18 and 15).

No, they never respond with a “Thanks Granny and Grandad for the money” text or what’s app.

If they were given it face to face, they would say thank you.

It saddens me, but it wouldn’t stop me giving to them.

My own DD and DS were certainly brought up differently, but it hasn’t carried on with their own children obviously.

I very much doubt if anyone else gets thanked either.

I would never mention it though, just grumble to DH.😡

Funny I was just thinking that!
Eldest GS (13) is a joy, affectionate, friendly, great company easy to be with but while he may think “thank you”, I noticed the last time he stayed, he didn’t always say it.
His younger brother (11) is equally affectionate and fun to be with (on his own, but can be a trial apparently at home with his siblings) but on his recent visit I got a thank you after every meal!
If presents are given in person and one is thanked, I think that is enough although our children also had to write ThankYou or “bread and butter” letters (under duress) after Granny and Grandpa had left.
So, is showing appreciation enough? Worth thinking about.

I realise that sounds so impersonal but at 86 I don’t do shopping anymore and even if I did I don’t see them enough to know their taste.

It is a problem I also have with a few members of my family.
I have also decided enough is enough .
I really would be happy with a text or WhatsApp but even this is too much it seems so I have decided I also can’t find the time to send a cheque or do a Bank transfer.
It really is their loss and my gain.