Fallen out with a close friend

I had a friend years ago and finally realised she was just using me. I always provided lifts, paid for lunch as she wasn't working, always visited her etc. The crunch came when she was visiting her son every week catching 2 busses for 15 miles but had never visited me or met me half way. I always had to pick her up. I lived on a straight bus route from her home only a 15 minute journey but she never made the effort. My last words to her were it's time for you to come to see me. I'm home most days so let me know when you're coming. That was 10 years ago and haven't heard from her since.
Find a new friend some people aren't worth knowing OP.

I was so relieved when I fazed a friend out of my life, every week I would dread our visits which would always end up in a supermarket, wherever we went she wanted to shop. She was continually critical of everyone and spoke loudly voicing her opinions of how others were dressed or their weight.

Cambsnan

We have been friends for 30 years and been there for each other at times of trouble, divorce and bereavement but fell out 6 months ago. I finally realised that our friendship had morphed into a one sided thing. We always did what she wanted and she laughed at me and encouraged others to do the same. When I put my foot down and said that we should do some things that I wanted she accused me of being selfish and we have not really spoken since. The odd email is all. I miss her but don’t want our old relationship back. Do I reach out or look to other friends to fill the gap?

Exactly the same scenario happened with me and a friend I'd started school with, ages 5. We were friends for 46 years at the point of falling out. Always her way or no way which I was blind to really but when my dad was diagnosed with terminal Lung cancer (died 6 weeks later) she was so unfeeling that the scales fell from my eyes and I woke up to her attitudes.
I met her again once, after ignoring her texts for that long and she admitted she was jealous of me
That was 9 years ago.
I don't miss her one bit.

Thanks everyone for your support. It is funny how you don’t see the little changes over the years until one day you go enough! I have never fallen out with s friend before and still have friends from school days so have no experience of this sort,p of thing.

sassysaysso

I'm sorry, its so hurtful when the scales fall from our eyes and we see the true dynamics of a friendship. It will never be the same again.

This has happened to me recently. An ex colleague and friend has dropped me. DH said he was glad, because he always thought she was using me, especially at work. I am no longer of any use to her.
Any friend, who laughed at me would be dropped instantly.

She is not your friend, that is not how friends behave...

I also think that it’s time to allow yourself to move on.
I had a friend who was always using me as part of her unconscious patterns. I tried drawing the line/ setting clear boundaries but she couldn’t stop pushing the boundaries beyond reasonable stuff each time. She couldn’t actually see my point of view, therefore ignored it.
We are quietly friendly now but not involved in a friendship.
Sad.

sounds like it was more of an ego trip for her, with you as the supporting act.
now you've seen it you are free.
forget her.

Cambsnan - a friend shouldn’t laugh at or make a fool of you. That’s cruel. Just stick to your other friends of which you have many, I’m sure.. Good luck..

You should look to other friends but mourn that friendship which was good while it lasted.
An old school friend of mine who I had kept in touch with slightly over the 50 years, has come to live fairly near me.

We see eachother occasionally but it is quite a different relationship although nice to have those old memories in common.

A good marriage or friendship is one where you grow together not grow apart

I'm sorry, its so hurtful when the scales fall from our eyes and we see the true dynamics of a friendship. It will never be the same again.

Look to other friends👍🏻

Always sad but it Appears to have run its course, it won’t change and you will be happier without her.

Anyone who laughed at me and got others to laugh is no friend ,
Forget her