Fallen out with a close friend

Anyone who laughed at me and got others to laugh is no friend ,
Forget her

Always sad but it Appears to have run its course, it won’t change and you will be happier without her.

Look to other friends👍🏻

I'm sorry, its so hurtful when the scales fall from our eyes and we see the true dynamics of a friendship. It will never be the same again.

You should look to other friends but mourn that friendship which was good while it lasted.
An old school friend of mine who I had kept in touch with slightly over the 50 years, has come to live fairly near me.

We see eachother occasionally but it is quite a different relationship although nice to have those old memories in common.

A good marriage or friendship is one where you grow together not grow apart

Cambsnan - a friend shouldn’t laugh at or make a fool of you. That’s cruel. Just stick to your other friends of which you have many, I’m sure.. Good luck..

sounds like it was more of an ego trip for her, with you as the supporting act.
now you've seen it you are free.
forget her.

I also think that it’s time to allow yourself to move on.
I had a friend who was always using me as part of her unconscious patterns. I tried drawing the line/ setting clear boundaries but she couldn’t stop pushing the boundaries beyond reasonable stuff each time. She couldn’t actually see my point of view, therefore ignored it.
We are quietly friendly now but not involved in a friendship.
Sad.

She is not your friend, that is not how friends behave...

sassysaysso

I'm sorry, its so hurtful when the scales fall from our eyes and we see the true dynamics of a friendship. It will never be the same again.

This has happened to me recently. An ex colleague and friend has dropped me. DH said he was glad, because he always thought she was using me, especially at work. I am no longer of any use to her.
Any friend, who laughed at me would be dropped instantly.

Thanks everyone for your support. It is funny how you don’t see the little changes over the years until one day you go enough! I have never fallen out with s friend before and still have friends from school days so have no experience of this sort,p of thing.

Cambsnan

We have been friends for 30 years and been there for each other at times of trouble, divorce and bereavement but fell out 6 months ago. I finally realised that our friendship had morphed into a one sided thing. We always did what she wanted and she laughed at me and encouraged others to do the same. When I put my foot down and said that we should do some things that I wanted she accused me of being selfish and we have not really spoken since. The odd email is all. I miss her but don’t want our old relationship back. Do I reach out or look to other friends to fill the gap?

Exactly the same scenario happened with me and a friend I'd started school with, ages 5. We were friends for 46 years at the point of falling out. Always her way or no way which I was blind to really but when my dad was diagnosed with terminal Lung cancer (died 6 weeks later) she was so unfeeling that the scales fell from my eyes and I woke up to her attitudes.
I met her again once, after ignoring her texts for that long and she admitted she was jealous of me
That was 9 years ago.
I don't miss her one bit.

I was so relieved when I fazed a friend out of my life, every week I would dread our visits which would always end up in a supermarket, wherever we went she wanted to shop. She was continually critical of everyone and spoke loudly voicing her opinions of how others were dressed or their weight.

I had a friend years ago and finally realised she was just using me. I always provided lifts, paid for lunch as she wasn't working, always visited her etc. The crunch came when she was visiting her son every week catching 2 busses for 15 miles but had never visited me or met me half way. I always had to pick her up. I lived on a straight bus route from her home only a 15 minute journey but she never made the effort. My last words to her were it's time for you to come to see me. I'm home most days so let me know when you're coming. That was 10 years ago and haven't heard from her since.
Find a new friend some people aren't worth knowing OP.

Mary doll
Your husband could see it as my husband could with my close friend , we were like sisters I thought but behind my back she was ridiculing me and doing unspeakable things against me. 7 years on I still miss the fun we had but I am more at peace with myself . That said I don’t trust people now and keep them at arms length

ruthiek

Mary doll
Your husband could see it as my husband could with my close friend , we were like sisters I thought but behind my back she was ridiculing me and doing unspeakable things against me. 7 years on I still miss the fun we had but I am more at peace with myself . That said I don’t trust people now and keep them at arms length

Me too. A hard lesson.

In saying that I have made some kind friends on GN, but I am now mainly a solitary person.

I have been in a similar position more than once and now I just keep people at arms length.

Since I have become quite immobile after a complex illness I haven't seen several 'friends' for dust!

People who laugh at and instigate ridicule of a person are NOT friends, they're bullies.

in same position with a close friend of 20+ yrs who hasn't responded to my complimentary messages following her daughter's recent wedding ..completely ghosted me...felt upset but now realise she's not really a genuine friend..feel i was there as a soundboard...she knows ive had a bad fall and still recovering but no response...agree, with other comments, friendship has run its course...look after your own needs OP!

A common theme evolving. You become ill and friends disappear. I was in Coronary Care in February and never heard from my so called friend either in hospital or when I came out. I gave her so much support in the past.

Very upsetting when a long friendship comes to an end.

My long time friend and I began to grow apart and she could be very catty at times and admitted to liking male friendships more than female. She brought the friendship to an end ( I have to be honest here) and felt very hurt indeed as seen her throught illness, relationship diasters etc. No contact for many years and she saw my mother in a shopping centre and stopped and chatted and then wrote to me saying she had regrets about us not being friends anymore and apologised and I wrote back and said it was gracious and humble of her to say that. We have contact via email only and she has sort of suggested meeting us but I don't really feel I can.

Had friends like this. I seem to attract them.
Think you’re better without this one.
Value yourself highly so many others will not.

Reach out in an email and really tell her how you feel.
You had a wonderful friendship and maybe she simply did not realize how the friendship changed and how it made you feel.
Then it's up to her to apologize or at least take the first step to put things right.
If the change has kind of creeped in she may not have been aware of what is really going on and how it made you feel.

But do be prepared that she may see no fault in this and you may need to let it fizzle away or stay at odd emails. But think back positively about the time you had and don't linger on the negative parts.
We cross path with many people and sometimes we walk along together for a while and then we head of in different directions, it's part of life.

It’s been a comfort to read that this happens to other people. Has recently happened to me when a friend stopped responding to my messages but it made me realise I’d always been made to feel inadequate and inferior in this person’s presence due to her being better educated and in a better financial position than myself. It’s been hard to accept but I’m not missing the friendship. Hope these responses help you Cambsnan.

Are your friends radiators or drains? We need radiators!