Fallen out with a close friend

No. She’s a user. This like another thread on here today. My SIL , who constantly leached off me and expected me to dig her out of all sorts of dilemmas, cut me dead bec I started another relationship instead of being permanently in widows weeds after her brother’s death. Then, a year later , she wanted to know what she’d done wrong and , BTW, could we be friends and could she borrow £ X ! ? I didn’t reply. You are worth much more than a friend who belittles you. Branch out. Make new friends. Do what YOU want to do. A real friend would consider this fair .

silverlining48

Oh yes DiamondLily a number of my friends, sometimes lifelong, were suddenly absent when my dh and dd were both diagnosed with cancer. I have since made new friends but how sad that some of my oldest friends avoided me and I still don’t understand it.

Sometimes I wonder if people think that the bad things in life are catching?
Or our fault?
Or you'll suddenly be needy and they don't want to help?

We had the same reaction from some people when my husband lost his job, which happened more than once.
I learned not to share bad news with certain people!

I had to drop a friend several years ago as she got so possessive. She used to ring me every morning about nothing really.
I had lots of other friends and she used to say nasty things about them to try and put me off but it didn’t.

She fell out with her own elderly Mum who I worked with in a charity shop and they didn’t talk to each other for years. So I would get each of them asking about the other and I was stuck in the middle. Her Mum got very ill and she still refused to see her so I gradually withdrew and now I feel so much better without her in my life.

I always speak if I see her, but that’s it.

Oh yes DiamondLily a number of my friends, sometimes lifelong, were suddenly absent when my dh and dd were both diagnosed with cancer. I have since made new friends but how sad that some of my oldest friends avoided me and I still don’t understand it.

Sometimes we need to assess friendships, even old ones.

When DH died, some of my oldest friends were (and have been) nowhere to be found.

Some newer people, not particular friends, have been great.

People come and they go.

No, don't try for a reconcilation. She is not a true friend and has not accepted that her behaviour was selfish and unkind.

If a "friend" makes you feel inadequate and unhappy then they are not worth having.

Reason, Season, Or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are!

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON, Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons – things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. - Unknown Author

Always very sad when a true friendship turns out to be a false one. So hurtful but explore new friendships and enjoy the companionship of others. You will find compassion there and great camaraderie. Hope all goes well. Life happens and try to move on.

A true friend would not laugh in your face so think of it like this. You wouldn’t laugh in her face because you are better than that. She lacks maturity and tact and is consumed by jealousy and insecurity.

You maybe upset by her behaviour but be glad that finally you see her for what she is. Not any kind of friend not now the days of being laughed at are gone hold your head up high.

This does happen to most people, it’s not unusual, they experience a friendship ending for a variety of reasons - sometimes emotional differences, sometimes they can just fade out quietly - no particular earth shaking reason either, sometimes people move away and it becomes a Christmas card connection. It just happens, not anything you’ve specifically done.

From what you’ve written - I can relate. I too have a friend who is always insisting her way of doing things, going places, even traveling agendas, which is totally tiresome - otherwise they are not happy! I’ve pulled away from her and so have others.

Other than her being insecure and being a control freak, I don’t understand why people can’t for their own sake see what they are doing. They’re not respecting you.
Work on your other friendships or make a few new acquaintances. This is an emotional blow, but don’t fret over this. She owes you an apology.
USA Gundy

I had a lovely friendship with a funny, creative and intelligent woman which we both delighted in. Then one day our families all went for an Easter walk and she said”the person with the biggest bottom should go first”.. meaning me. It took another few years before the reality hit me. She was unkind behind my back and that nasty comment should have forewarned me. Let her go…

My lovely friends and I started school together aged 5. We’ve been close friends ever since.(almost 70 years). Bridesmaids and godparents to each other/‘s children.

We’ve never fallen out and would never riducule or speak behind backs. Always supportive through thick and thin.
I’m afraid to say yours are Not true friends

You don’t need her.

That's how toxic friends behave .

Walk away .

Find new friends , who are worthy of your friendship .

I'm reeling from the hurtful behaviour of one of my friends .
I feel so deceived .
And recently , sensing coolness from me she's constantly contacting me .

Recently, I've made new friends ,who are so caring and sweet .

I’ve found in life that a friendship can often mean less to the other person than it does to me. Sometimes it’s best to just move on and accept that it’s run it’s course. Although it’s more difficult in our mature years there are new friendships to find still.

Mmm, sounds as though she was the selfish one who didn't like it when you wanted fair goes.

Are your friends radiators or drains? We need radiators!

It’s been a comfort to read that this happens to other people. Has recently happened to me when a friend stopped responding to my messages but it made me realise I’d always been made to feel inadequate and inferior in this person’s presence due to her being better educated and in a better financial position than myself. It’s been hard to accept but I’m not missing the friendship. Hope these responses help you Cambsnan.

Reach out in an email and really tell her how you feel.
You had a wonderful friendship and maybe she simply did not realize how the friendship changed and how it made you feel.
Then it's up to her to apologize or at least take the first step to put things right.
If the change has kind of creeped in she may not have been aware of what is really going on and how it made you feel.

But do be prepared that she may see no fault in this and you may need to let it fizzle away or stay at odd emails. But think back positively about the time you had and don't linger on the negative parts.
We cross path with many people and sometimes we walk along together for a while and then we head of in different directions, it's part of life.

Had friends like this. I seem to attract them.
Think you’re better without this one.
Value yourself highly so many others will not.

Very upsetting when a long friendship comes to an end.

My long time friend and I began to grow apart and she could be very catty at times and admitted to liking male friendships more than female. She brought the friendship to an end ( I have to be honest here) and felt very hurt indeed as seen her throught illness, relationship diasters etc. No contact for many years and she saw my mother in a shopping centre and stopped and chatted and then wrote to me saying she had regrets about us not being friends anymore and apologised and I wrote back and said it was gracious and humble of her to say that. We have contact via email only and she has sort of suggested meeting us but I don't really feel I can.

A common theme evolving. You become ill and friends disappear. I was in Coronary Care in February and never heard from my so called friend either in hospital or when I came out. I gave her so much support in the past.

in same position with a close friend of 20+ yrs who hasn't responded to my complimentary messages following her daughter's recent wedding ..completely ghosted me...felt upset but now realise she's not really a genuine friend..feel i was there as a soundboard...she knows ive had a bad fall and still recovering but no response...agree, with other comments, friendship has run its course...look after your own needs OP!

I have been in a similar position more than once and now I just keep people at arms length.

Since I have become quite immobile after a complex illness I haven't seen several 'friends' for dust!

People who laugh at and instigate ridicule of a person are NOT friends, they're bullies.

ruthiek

Mary doll
Your husband could see it as my husband could with my close friend , we were like sisters I thought but behind my back she was ridiculing me and doing unspeakable things against me. 7 years on I still miss the fun we had but I am more at peace with myself . That said I don’t trust people now and keep them at arms length

Me too. A hard lesson.

In saying that I have made some kind friends on GN, but I am now mainly a solitary person.

Mary doll
Your husband could see it as my husband could with my close friend , we were like sisters I thought but behind my back she was ridiculing me and doing unspeakable things against me. 7 years on I still miss the fun we had but I am more at peace with myself . That said I don’t trust people now and keep them at arms length