Daughters in law

My MIL was badly disabled by a stroke when I met DH. She was very capable prior to her strike and didn't think I was up to much. Once she saw that i coped with her son, a few children and was a tolerably good cook, her attitude changed. Also, DH had been rebellious teenager so she was not predisposed to like his wife.

DH, being a professional man, was all my mother could have wished for. He saw right through her and didn't let her get away with much.

We have two sons. Both married and divorced. Elder son's wife was lovely and we all adored her but she couldn't cope after he had a stroke aged 36 and behaved very badly. He has a lovely, sensible partner now.

DS2's wife was a b***h of the highest order - egged on by her mother. His partner is fabulous and has brought 2 great son's into the family.

I have 3 son's in kaw. 2 of them are lovely. One is a bit of a plonker!

There again Luckygirl, you have set a scene which I am now very curious of 🤔😆.
Did anyone wake them, ask them why etc?
What an eccentric couple.
Just think how lucky they were to find each other, isnt life strange?

They were indeed. The first time my parents invited them over to lunch, they could not find them afterwards and were worried they might have left! But they looked round the garden and found them both sleeping under a hedge, lying on the ground!!

Luckygirl's ILs sound bonkers .

My DiL is just so boring and negative . She chudders on and on about people I don’t know and how wrong they are. I grin and bear it, just about.

For the brief time that I was a DIL we were enemies. She made it clear that she did not consider me on the same social level as herself despite the fact that I was qualified in a well established academic profession. In fact I earned as much as my husband. Her idea of social class was who your parents were, not what you personally had achieved.

The first time I met her she asked "Who are your people" and I replied "I dont mind your asking impertinent personal questions so long as you dont mind my not answering them!"

Fortunately my MIL lived several hours travel away and did not come to see us often. I told my husband he was welcome to go see his mother whenever he wished but he would go alone. He was a bit of a mummys boy and that was one of the reasons we split up. I would not allow her to stay with us because the lease of the flat weher we lived was in my name and I kept it that way. She very quickly got the message.

She was also very disappointed because I made it clear from the onset that I would not have children and she wanted grandchildren.

I had a very difficult relationship with my m.i.l. to begin with, but we ended up being very close and genuinely loved one another.

Mr. S. was very close to my mum from the beginning and that closeness remained until she died.

I'd have loved to have known your in laws Luckygirl and what form their 'madness' took.😊

Loved my MIL. Glad my sons have found people who make them happy.
No probs with SIL's either.

I would probably have liked to be closer to both SIL and DIL, especially DIL's, but must go at their pace.

My in laws were mad .. totally mad. Both with brains like planets, highly educated, and met at Bletchley Park while code-breaking. But they were truly eccentric ..
and conversation at the lunch table was in French, German and Latin ... luckily I had a working knowledge of these and was able to keep up. They did not give presents or send cards, but once memorably presented my 9 year old DD with a card in a bag, in its cellophane and suggested she might like to write it herself.
I kept on good terms with them by limiting contact!!

Unfortunately, I never knew my MIL as she died before DH and I met, but I do get on very well with both DH's sisters who each in her own way resemble their mother.

My DIL and I have little in common - actually the only thing we have in common is that we both love my son, each in her own way. I find her irritating, and she like many self-made business women either despises me or is afraid of me because I went to university - not sure which it is.

We are polite to each other, and I think we both do try to get along with the other, but it never really seems to work, even although I certainly admit that their are faults on both sides.

DH and my mother grew to like and respect each other. This was entirely due to the fact that DH refused to allow my demanding mother to have things all her own way. Not used to such treatment, my dear mother actually respected him for daring to put her in what he saw, she didn't entirely, as her place!

I am a fat lot of help to you, aren't I?

There were some ‘moments’ with my in-laws in the early days but we overcame them and had a good relationship after that, until they both died.

I have two delightful dil’s, we’ve known both for well over 20 years and they’re simply part of the family. My youngest dd can’t remember them not knowing them! ❤️

I also have a lovely son-in-law. He’d doing anything for us - or for anyone else, come to that - and he’s just a decent, kind man of the sort that the world desperately needs right now.

We are very fortunate, I count my blessings that our children have found people who make them happy.

My DH loved my Mum more than his own!

Unfortunately our son is now divorced but I still get on with my ex DIL and meet up for coffee occasionally for a catch up, even though my son disapproves. She makes sure we know what our GDs are up to. We also still exchange Birthday and Christmas cards

I loved my late Mum in law. She was a considered, thoughtful person and never really criticised me, ever. She was a tough, independent woman and I was lucky to have her.

My husband gets on with my Mum too. We are all pretty laid back about stuff

I get on with my sons partners too but I try not to interfere or pass judgement. This is a general thing. I remember an older friend saying to me once to listen to wat your children are telling you and even if you are unsure or disagree, try not to let them know as if they are ever in trouble they will need you and will be able to talk to you about it.